Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)

[Abbeygale]

we have this one lady who spends $400-500 every week on clothes/books/cds/dvds u name it, she buys it... and every week she comes back with $400-500 worth of stuff to be returned... we call her our "favourite refunder" fuck where does she get all her money from

Its probably the same $500 every week if she returns that much.

Yesterday at work we had a lady ask us to take a dish off her bill because her kids didn't eat it. Where do people get the nerve to ask things like that? I don't even like using coupons because I know they're a bother.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Its probably the same $500 every week if she returns that much.

Yesterday at work we had a lady ask us to take a dish off her bill because her kids didn't eat it. Where do people get the nerve to ask things like that? I don't even like using coupons because I know they're a bother.

You have to remember that every customer is a dumb cheapskate, as soon as they walk out of the store, they return to a sane person.

 

[xeuyrawp]

Myer ->>

If you have children, don't let them go wondering off into other departments, especially when you are not even on the same level as them, and especially when your child is a SELFISH, SMART ARSED LITTLE BRAT WHO DEFACES A YODA TALKING FIGURINE WORTH $119 THAT WE CAN NO LONGER SELL BECAUSE OR YOUR LITTLE SHIT OF A SON!!!
If you ever come back you little bastard I am going to watch you like a hawk, and if your parents complain (if they even show themselves) I am going to tell them what a wanker you are!

Make them pay for it. That's what I do. I made a woman buy this small mp3 player when her kid stuck it in his mouth.

 

[...]

rule no.7323378654:

know what you are asking for (or what you want)
if you don't know what you want, how the fuck are we suppose to know what YOU want

 

[xeuyrawp]

rule no.7323378654:

know what you are asking for (or what you want)
if you don't know what you want, how the fuck are we suppose to know what YOU want

WHere's this at, .^3 ?

 

[Josie]

Addition: Stocktake rules (Harvey Norman, Bedding and Manchester)


1.When counting aloud a very very large pile of (insert shit here), and I'm up to about 135, please wait another few seconds before interrupting me and making me lose count.
2.When we ask you not to move things, we mean it. I've already scanned that entire area, and the controllers get pissed if they can't find things. So do I. How hard is it for you to put things back where they came from.
3.I happen to be watching you like a hawk because I can see you're moving things around. See above.
4.Yes, we are short of staff. This is because they're all busy counting things and being interrupted half way through. I will attempt to answer as best as I can until I can find someone more qualified.
5.Please please please if you're going to use a gift voucher/finance/child slavery to pay for your shopping, don't wait until I've processed your 15 items and the 13 discounts.

 

[...]

WHere's this at, .^3 ?

supermarket

customer: hey, where are the nuts?
me: salted ones? or not salted?
customer: i don't care
me: well u looking for cooking nuts or like as a confectionary?
customer: i don't know, just tell me where they are, jee can't you do your job properly!?

 

[waterfowl]

Make them pay for it. That's what I do. I made a woman buy this small mp3 player when her kid stuck it in his mouth.

Unfortunately I don't think I am allowed to do that - Myer is too nice to customers! I guess that's why we get so many assholes

 

[chepas]

Sometimes I just think that they purposely save all of their refunds up for months and months so that I can be the one who has to suffer with their stupid trolley load of clearance shit that they bought for $4.86

I hate that, then the managers get shitty because all this clearance stuff has just resurfaced - that was ashes to ashes dust to dust for us 5 months ago.

You must be a slow refunder, cause people always say how fast I am. I should get a career at target i'm that good.

No, it's more like that they complain about this 'red tape' and 'bullshit' they have to go through, and they always have this look about them that says "I'm important, I have somewhere else to be". The only people that 'plan' to come in are the ones that bring lots of crap in. Our registers are also as old as Methuselah so while the fingers are willing and fast, the register is neither.

The worst is when you tell them, and then you make them the coupon and they're like "nah I don't want it" and walk off but you've already made the coupon so you have to get a void previous because they don't want to sign the docket so that you can use the coupon to sell it back to them.

I thought when you void previous a transaction that also includes the coupon which it printed, as the transaction number printed on the coupon doesn't exist anymore? Cos I always cross the voucher out and write VOID, and so it's all good...? But yes, customer indecision is even better.

Ooh - more on coupons. Had a woman that came in, asked me 'The voucher is expired (2/5/05). Can I still use it?'. At this point I am still in my patient diplomatic state, head tilted in sympathy, eyebrows aloft, as I explain a little leeway one or two days can be taken (we're sorta liberal at our store!), but that this was two weeks later. She launches on her sob story. "I am a poor student who has had so many exams the last month I haven't had time to check my wallet and my uncle just flew in from the Phillipines so I haven't had time to go shopping..." (I HATE stories...). She also claims that "This is my money". It was an Exchange Only Coupon. The only country in which this would have been valid was Target. The conditions on the coupon were also alluded to. "Can I see your manager?". Most certainly, but he will say exactly the same thing I have told you. Nicolas comes. "Are you the manager?". Yes. "(Story repeats)". Frog (Nicolas - he's French) says same thing I did. "But this is my money". Frog - Yes, but it comes with conditions, exchange only procedure etc. "Can I speak to the manager?". Frog - I am the manager.

I love it when the customers go "Can I speak to another/your manager?" and they're already speaking to the store manager or the highest available manager. It's like they're talking to god and they want to speak to someone higher. (this might have been mentioned earlier in this thread! ).

I have had a few people come through trying to use their Woolworths Limited discount card. It's funny, cos then they get all "Ooh woops, using this on the Enemy har har". Yes....

There's more, but I forget it...

 

[Katie123]

I have had a few people come through trying to use their Woolworths Limited discount card. It's funny, cos then they get all "Ooh woops, using this on the Enemy har har". Yes....

There's more, but I forget it...

i tried to do that at liqourland cos i forgot where i was...they didnt think it was funny and i got embarassed cos i remember when i got annoyed when customers wanted to use fly buys with us..or coles myer credit cards :sniper: :angry: :gridnod: :spaceshp: :apig: :rofl: :grinshak:

 

[withoutaface]

Me too. This isn't my favourite sub-forum, but it's my favourite thread!
It's so fun!!!

Oh, and when i do desserts, i hate it how people can't just order a regular cappuccino.
A woman actually asked for a decaf skim milk cappucinno with artificial sweetener and "regular milk froth"...
WTF? Deal with regular milk, milk is good for you.

If I ever get down to Gordon you still owe me a free steak!

 

[soha]

just want to say we got new trolleys
*yay
and customers stop commenting on it
"oh new trolleys"
"its about time you got new trolleys"
'blah blah trolleys"

yes we have new trolleys
i already know..you dont need to point it out to me..
im sick of hearing it from every second customer

 

[withoutaface]

just want to say we got new trolleys
*yay
and customers stop commenting on it
"oh new trolleys"
"its about time you got new trolleys"
'blah blah trolleys"

yes we have new trolleys
i already know..you dont need to point it out to me..
im sick of hearing it from every second customer

If you worked at Castle Towers and not Winston Hills I'd so pop in and discuss the merits of old vs new trollies, along with traditional values and emotional attachments.

 

[soha]

If you worked at Castle Towers and not Winston Hills I'd so pop in and discuss the merits of old vs new trollies, along with traditional values and emotional attachments.

well its a good thig i dont work at towers
i dont think i could cope discussing trolleys with you

 

[braindrainedAsh]

Ok, some Coles stories from last week.

I'm on express, it is EXTREMELY busy..... massive queue. This guy comes through with a basket full of stuff, which he then tells me he only has $15.20... I'm looking at the basket knowing it will cost more than that. So I say well we will stop before it goes over that, which things do you want the most.... a lot of this stuff was fruit by the way.... so I start doing the order and get to $14.90 and then stop because nothing else in there would be less than 30c. Then he is like try this apple, so I would have to weigh it, then it would be too much, and delete it. Then he was getting me to take other things off and put other things on.... then he was raving how could one pear cost that much.... then he had these really expensive pears that are like 7.99 a kilo and he is throwing a strop about the price. He is swearing heaps, almost at me but then he kept saying "i'm not angry at you, you're helping me" but his anger was directed towards me.... this taking things off adding things on saga went on for about 15 minutes... he began raving about his gas bill and how he meant to call A Current Affair this week because he was being ripped off (I always pay out a guy at uni who works at ACA and this was perfect material) before he finally came to the conclusion that no matter how many times I reweighed various items of fruit there was only so much one person could purchase with $15.20. The people in the line were shooting daggers at his back! How inconsiderate, what a wanker.

Then I had this old lady who was screeching at me because something scanned at $20 (it was an alarm clock or something) and she was adament that it was only $7.50... she took someone from grocery over to where she apparently found it... apparently it was sitting on a shelf with the boxes of chocolate which were $7.50, hence, logically the alarm clock must also be that price

Ah the joys of checkout chickdom.... it's funny when they catch people for stealing though, it happens heaps at my store.

 

[live_without_it]

this may have been said earlier... i cant remember......but

RULE 19894631597561346335465713:

If the store is really busy, and there is a long line of customers waiting to be served, and our staff are working as fast as possible... DO NOT under any circumstances, come up and tell us we are short staffed.

Chances are the 3 staff members currently busting their arses dealing with dickheads like you know they are shortstaffed. It is also likely that they have requested extra staff from management, only to be told 'its not busy enough'.

Learn to be patient. complaining doesnt make the line go any faster, infact it holds up the staff, and actually slows down the line. Complaining also means staff will hate you, every time you come in, and will treat you accordingly.

 

[my sharona]

Ah the joys of checkout chickdom.... it's funny when they catch people for stealing though, it happens heaps at my store.

Do you get to beat them up?

 

[soha]

lol a customer came to the service area
walked in to the area where the chekouts are..near express
and was so angry..shouted at all of us(we were busy)
and shes like
EXCUSE ME CAN YOU GET SOMEONE TO SERVE IN DELI
THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON AND ITS BUSY
we were like err yeah ok..
wtf

 

[my sharona]

Haha... I'm a shitty customer at deli. The workers there always make me uncomfortable for some reason. So when they ask me if i need help i make something up.

Usually i ask for mild twiggy sticks, because my local woolies never has them. The last time they had mild twiggy sticks i asked them if they sold pork and chive dumplings. The look on the guy's face!! Priceless!

 

[steph@nie]

No, it's more like that they complain about this 'red tape' and 'bullshit' they have to go through, and they always have this look about them that says "I'm important, I have somewhere else to be". The only people that 'plan' to come in are the ones that bring lots of crap in. Our registers are also as old as Methuselah so while the fingers are willing and fast, the register is neither.

Yeah I get ya. "But I only want to exchange the size, why do I need a coupon for?" Then you explain nicely about how for stocktaking purposes we need to know what sizes we have on hand and that if prices have changed yadda yadda and they just look at you stunned. This is when you seize the opportunity to get them to sign the paper and then shove the coupon in their hands and disappear behind the customer service desk.

I thought when you void previous a transaction that also includes the coupon which it printed, as the transaction number printed on the coupon doesn't exist anymore? Cos I always cross the voucher out and write VOID, and so it's all good...? But yes, customer indecision is even better.

Yes, but you can avoid voiding anything if the customer just signs the coupon docket and allows you to resell the item to them. That way you don't have the stock and they have a receipt until they come back weeks later with the original receipt in hand, asking for a refund.

On registers, I don't mind customers so much. Except for those ones that stand there and sigh because the floor people take so long to come down and then say to you, "oh I know it's not your fault dear". Well, if it's not my fucking fault then stop sighing like a girl you wanker.
Oh and those ones that come up with 40 million things and want price checks on all of them before they decide... and the ones with a trolley load full of clothes all on hangers that you really can't be bothered taking out, and then after you're done folding them so that they will fit in bags, they say.. "I don't want the hangers thankyou".