work stories (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Az-jay
- Start date
soha
a splendid one to behold
lol..omg..today i was sent to talk to the manager
and i thought i wa sin trouble(i workl at woolies by the way)
and i was thinking what the heck did i do..like what on earth would they wanna talk to me about..
neways..i was shcoked..coz they gave me a thankyou card and 2 movie vouchers
i was like awhh..how cute..woolies is giving me a thankyou gift..for being such a good worker and shit..
me and another chick got one
i was shocked coz i didnt think woolies did that sorta stuff
but i wasnt shocked that i got it..coz i deserve that man..i work my ass off
thats my story..for now neways
yay 2 movie vouchers..lol
and i thought i wa sin trouble(i workl at woolies by the way)
and i was thinking what the heck did i do..like what on earth would they wanna talk to me about..
neways..i was shcoked..coz they gave me a thankyou card and 2 movie vouchers
i was like awhh..how cute..woolies is giving me a thankyou gift..for being such a good worker and shit..
me and another chick got one
i was shocked coz i didnt think woolies did that sorta stuff
but i wasnt shocked that i got it..coz i deserve that man..i work my ass off
thats my story..for now neways
yay 2 movie vouchers..lol
i'm a macca's girl and every saturday for the past year this guy comes in buy's the cheap $1.50 coffee, has about four free refills before leaving with one of our complimentary papers, and a hand full of salt, pepper, ketchup etc!
shiny
The Shiny One
My workplace is always hilarious, especially when my boss is talking about girls/sex or when he's angry.
(My boss has a Scottish accent)
Boss (angry): "... yeah I know. Look, Martin hasn't paid the fockin rent. Get him out. I know. James, go and ask Martin why he's such a useless bastard. He hasn't paid the rent for 3 weeks. 2 weeks ago he said something turned up and he couldn't get the money in. Last week he said he went to see his solicitor. I actually sympathised with him that time, but honestly, he's full of shite. Yeah. Know what I mean? Just get him out. Him and his friends. They've ruined two of my weeks now. What are they a bunch of kids? Tell them to get to fock and fock off. Yeah. See you later." *hangs up*
"Focking useless focking bastard."
Workmate (talking to boss): "Hey I know this hot chick that works at a bar. Nice bar girl. Tall, blonde, loves sex."
Boss: "Loves sex? Fantastic." *looks at me and my friend* "guys you can go home now."
Boss (on phone): "...it's 122 Sanders Street. Yeah - Sanders. S for Sarah. A for apple. N for delta. N for Norman sorry."
I'm looking at someone's resume and my boss comes over.
Boss: "David what ya workin on?" *sticks head in front of monitor* (there's no address on the resume) "Fock's this? This guy doesn't have a home" *walks off*
(My boss has a Scottish accent)
Boss (angry): "... yeah I know. Look, Martin hasn't paid the fockin rent. Get him out. I know. James, go and ask Martin why he's such a useless bastard. He hasn't paid the rent for 3 weeks. 2 weeks ago he said something turned up and he couldn't get the money in. Last week he said he went to see his solicitor. I actually sympathised with him that time, but honestly, he's full of shite. Yeah. Know what I mean? Just get him out. Him and his friends. They've ruined two of my weeks now. What are they a bunch of kids? Tell them to get to fock and fock off. Yeah. See you later." *hangs up*
"Focking useless focking bastard."
Workmate (talking to boss): "Hey I know this hot chick that works at a bar. Nice bar girl. Tall, blonde, loves sex."
Boss: "Loves sex? Fantastic." *looks at me and my friend* "guys you can go home now."
Boss (on phone): "...it's 122 Sanders Street. Yeah - Sanders. S for Sarah. A for apple. N for delta. N for Norman sorry."
I'm looking at someone's resume and my boss comes over.
Boss: "David what ya workin on?" *sticks head in front of monitor* (there's no address on the resume) "Fock's this? This guy doesn't have a home" *walks off*
fashionista
Tastes like chicken
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!! so repped!!
^CoSMic DoRiS^^
makes the woosh noises
my boss (before i left) used to have the most fucked up mood swings ever...once after id finished my shift - i think it was my first shift as well - he had a full screaming match at the other two ppl for leaving a mess in the store room, which was bad enough, but then he went in the store room and started THROWING things, BIG things, like the garden display we hadnt put up yet, boxes of unopened stock, he chucked the bin all over the floor, ripped off all the noticeboards...fuck i was scared out of my brain that he was gonna bash us or something...and then we all had to stay an extra hour and a half to clean it up - the mess HE made... 
but in the end he called me in to see him and said it wasnt my fault, that he wasnt mad at me and it was the other two he was aiming for...but jeeezus i was freaked out
but in the end he called me in to see him and said it wasnt my fault, that he wasnt mad at me and it was the other two he was aiming for...but jeeezus i was freaked out
shiny
The Shiny One
More boss quotes
Boss (talking to me): David any hot chicks at uni?
Me: Ermm... there's a few good looking girls there.
Boss: Why don't you introduce yourself to them? Go up to them right, and say: "Do you know who the fock I am? My name's David"
Boss: Eh... what's 400x1000?
Me: 400,000
Boss: Shit. That's a lot of money
(Boss goes to make some tea)
Boss: Do we use Lipton? (Looks at box) I like to buy the cheap stuff. Not this stuff like green tea, yellow tea fockin, fockin fish tea whatever mate. *walks out of room saying Lipton in a real pommy accent*
Boss: I want kids...
Workmate: Now?
Boss: Yeah now.
Boss (on phone): Pete! How are ya sir! Not bad not bad. Eh listen, following up from the client CV I sent yesterday, what do you think of him? Yeah? Good stuff. Alright I'll talk to you about it this afternoon then. Yeah. So how's life treating you sir? Making millions? What you on right now... 60K, 70K? 80 plus super? Fantastic. You married now sir? 2 kids? Fantastic. Alright I've got an incoming call right now, so I'll speak to you soon. OK buddy? See you later.
*hangs up*
Focking bastard
I kid you not...
I actually recorded him at work once- about the rent, but the quality sux so much you have to turn up your speakers way high. I'll put that up later.
Boss (talking to me): David any hot chicks at uni?
Me: Ermm... there's a few good looking girls there.
Boss: Why don't you introduce yourself to them? Go up to them right, and say: "Do you know who the fock I am? My name's David"
Boss: Eh... what's 400x1000?
Me: 400,000
Boss: Shit. That's a lot of money
(Boss goes to make some tea)
Boss: Do we use Lipton? (Looks at box) I like to buy the cheap stuff. Not this stuff like green tea, yellow tea fockin, fockin fish tea whatever mate. *walks out of room saying Lipton in a real pommy accent*
Boss: I want kids...
Workmate: Now?
Boss: Yeah now.
Boss (on phone): Pete! How are ya sir! Not bad not bad. Eh listen, following up from the client CV I sent yesterday, what do you think of him? Yeah? Good stuff. Alright I'll talk to you about it this afternoon then. Yeah. So how's life treating you sir? Making millions? What you on right now... 60K, 70K? 80 plus super? Fantastic. You married now sir? 2 kids? Fantastic. Alright I've got an incoming call right now, so I'll speak to you soon. OK buddy? See you later.
*hangs up*
Focking bastard
I kid you not...
I actually recorded him at work once- about the rent, but the quality sux so much you have to turn up your speakers way high. I'll put that up later.
Giant Lobster
Active Member
"N for delta"
LMAO!!1
LMAO!!1
buddys
...
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i work at a swimming pool and one day this guy comes up and starts telling one of my work mates that he is getting electric shocks everytime he touches the shower. I was listenin in cause i was like the duty manager and i had to report it. after he left...i went and tested all the showers and even got the lifeguard to test them himself. nothing happened so i still reported it to the centre manager. the other day as he was walking out he goes "its getting worse you know." i go whats getting worse? and hes like "the shower - the shock is getting stronger every time" then he decides to say" you know i am gonna make sue you go to jail". and im like What?...jail??? hes like "yeah". i laughed it off and he was still trying to tell me how he will make sure i go to jail. i just turned my back and started to ignore him.
katietheskatie
lol
we had this massive cardboard pyramid thing for 'alien versus predator', and one of the guys decided it would be funny to try and scare the shit out of me. so when i was turned around, he got inside this thing and started shuffling around the foyer behind me as i was walking around picking some stuff up, and i had no idea. after a while i noticed all these customers laughing at me, so i turned around and saw this massive effing pyramid right behind me, and the guy inside yelled something. i screamed really fucking loud and then i realised who it was. everyone just cracked up laughing at me.
LeftrightOut
Needs more cowbell
While working in a small business a guy had one of these chairs http://www.officefurniture.com/NBFdocs/product/images/office_star/ofs-kc247_med.jpg Anyway everyone was working away in their offices and suddenly we hear this loud *THUD* followed by expletives and then the chair flying out of the room in 2 pieces. Then he walked out with this big red mark on his forehead.
A lot of customer related stories can be found here
http://www.customerssuck.com/
A lot of customer related stories can be found here
http://www.customerssuck.com/
beccabum
hung up
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
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- 92
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2004
This happened last year when i was still working at best and less. Because it was easter time the boss made us wear fluffy bunny ears. Anyway, another girl and i were emptying all of the rubbish into the massive bins in the lane at the back of the store. it wouldn't all fit so what we usually do is climb into the bin and jump on it. It had rained a bit before so it was a little damp in the bin. So I was jumping up and down in this bin, and sinking into all the busted up boxes and stuff, and i said pretty loudly "weeeeee its all squishy in here!!". Just at that moment, a car full of wogs drove past. The looks on their faces were priceless. I mean, how often do you see a girl wearing bunny ears jumping up and down in a sulo yelling out that its squishy? crazy me...
i was working at kfc , a customer comes in and i took his order, anyway he was like :' i know you, didnt we goto same school". i was like" i dont think so." he goes":no i know you, what school did u goto' i said:" well if we did goto the same school, im sure you'll know". then he's like :' hmmm. i kinda forgot, ohe wait, isnt it strathfield girls".(im a guy), he started laughing. me"mmmhahaha, you are so funny, man you should a comedian, ill definitely pay big bucks to see your show...." focking customers give me the shits......
daylight savings...
got to work, macca's, quarter 6 this morning and my manager's in tears cause the instructions to change our clock on and register clocks were for the old POS system and we have the new one, after half hour trying to fix it she succeeds. she opened the store and leaving the guys to do open they'd FORGOTTEN to turn on the gills, vats and toaster and hence we had to reshut the store for half hour hour while they heated up and the day only got worse!
got to work, macca's, quarter 6 this morning and my manager's in tears cause the instructions to change our clock on and register clocks were for the old POS system and we have the new one, after half hour trying to fix it she succeeds. she opened the store and leaving the guys to do open they'd FORGOTTEN to turn on the gills, vats and toaster and hence we had to reshut the store for half hour hour while they heated up and the day only got worse!
^CoSMic DoRiS^^
makes the woosh noises
oh this didnt happen to me at work but i saw it shopping at bilo...this wierd old man came in in just shorts, no shoes, no shirt - and this is in july btw - and went to the section where they sell pads and stuff and sat down, in the middle of the aisle, and began reading the libra packs out loud. lmao...the manager had to ask him to leave because he wouldnt let anyone through the aisle. man it was funny
ur_inner_child
.%$^!@&^#(*!?.%$^?!.
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- 6,084
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- 2004
me: good morning (etc etc) Stephanie speaking..
him: *is in a vampire voice* fuck, yes. i'm placing an order.
me: okay what store
him: XXXXXXXX etc I'd like to order supernatural in light oak
me:how many litres?
him: twenty
me: Twenty?
him: yes, fucking TWENTY can you believe that fuck?
me: twenty it is.
him: yes, and if they want other colours, they can blow me, I MEAN, I'll call you back Stef. Bastards.
Highlight of reception work.
him: *is in a vampire voice* fuck, yes. i'm placing an order.
me: okay what store
him: XXXXXXXX etc I'd like to order supernatural in light oak
me:how many litres?
him: twenty
me: Twenty?
him: yes, fucking TWENTY can you believe that fuck?
me: twenty it is.
him: yes, and if they want other colours, they can blow me, I MEAN, I'll call you back Stef. Bastards.
Highlight of reception work.
!! CaR`JiE !!
cäяяoт ^^'
LOL how rudeur_inner_child said:
shortie_689
Member
OMG... Today at work this lady was trying all our skirts on without underwear on... I wouldnt have cared if she had managed to get her arse inside of the curtain to do so but no she had it hanging out for all to see then proceeded to gives us the skirts to hang up...
oh and another one...
Well i used to work in a chemist and we gave a 5% discount to seniour citizens with there cards but many asians like to raught us...
So one day im standing at my registar dreaming about wat i was going to eat for lunch when up bounces this young asian who proceeds to buy 2 packets of condoms, tampons, lubricant and so outrageously bright red lipstick... its all good i put it through without so much as a sarcastic comment only to hear her say id like my senior citizens discount on that... So to my shock horror i reluctly looked at the card she was holding and gave her 5% off her purchase in the back of my mind thinkin if this is for ur grandma jees she must be wild but off she went on her merry way...
oh and another one...
Well i used to work in a chemist and we gave a 5% discount to seniour citizens with there cards but many asians like to raught us...
So one day im standing at my registar dreaming about wat i was going to eat for lunch when up bounces this young asian who proceeds to buy 2 packets of condoms, tampons, lubricant and so outrageously bright red lipstick... its all good i put it through without so much as a sarcastic comment only to hear her say id like my senior citizens discount on that... So to my shock horror i reluctly looked at the card she was holding and gave her 5% off her purchase in the back of my mind thinkin if this is for ur grandma jees she must be wild but off she went on her merry way...
Last edited:
beccabum
hung up
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2004
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- Female
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- 2004
OH GOD how could i have forgotten my other classic moments?
1. (Best + Less) My friend and I got sent home!! We kept on running into each other and talking, even tho we were supposed to be on opposite sides of the store. Yes, the manager had told us a few times to quit talking, but my friend and i would split up and meet again 10 min later (we honestly didn't mean to..). Finally the manager came up to us and said "one of you can go home. decide. now." and we stood there for another minute, talking, like wtf?, and then she came back and said "both of you GO!" hehe so funny looking back. ps. we were your typical "good girls" so it was even funnier to us.. still don't think i ever told my parents lol. My friend and i just walked up the street to golo and hung out with another friend who was working there until it was time for our parents to come and pick us up (we were 15).
2. (B+L again) THe manager (same cow that sent me home) was demonstrating how to lift heavy boxes properly. she squatted to pick it up and farted. lmao at the thought of it.
3. (B+L) a different manager locked himself in the toilets and was banging on the door for almost 1/2 hour to get let out. i wasn't there but i can just imagine what it was like.
4. (Hydroponics) I told a coworker i was heading off to Europe later in the year, and mentioned countries i am going to. she's like 'the netherlands? oh i guess you're going to amsterdam then?' i'm like yeah, and ever since she's been teasing me about how i'm going to become a pot head and i can come back and grow hydroponic pot and i'll be talking to the tomatoes and they'll be talking back.. it's another 3 months before i go, and i bet it will be twice as bad when i get back from being there ggrrr.
5. (Hydroponics again) my boss wore socks and sandals.
1. (Best + Less) My friend and I got sent home!! We kept on running into each other and talking, even tho we were supposed to be on opposite sides of the store. Yes, the manager had told us a few times to quit talking, but my friend and i would split up and meet again 10 min later (we honestly didn't mean to..). Finally the manager came up to us and said "one of you can go home. decide. now." and we stood there for another minute, talking, like wtf?, and then she came back and said "both of you GO!" hehe so funny looking back. ps. we were your typical "good girls" so it was even funnier to us.. still don't think i ever told my parents lol. My friend and i just walked up the street to golo and hung out with another friend who was working there until it was time for our parents to come and pick us up (we were 15).
2. (B+L again) THe manager (same cow that sent me home) was demonstrating how to lift heavy boxes properly. she squatted to pick it up and farted. lmao at the thought of it.
3. (B+L) a different manager locked himself in the toilets and was banging on the door for almost 1/2 hour to get let out. i wasn't there but i can just imagine what it was like.
4. (Hydroponics) I told a coworker i was heading off to Europe later in the year, and mentioned countries i am going to. she's like 'the netherlands? oh i guess you're going to amsterdam then?' i'm like yeah, and ever since she's been teasing me about how i'm going to become a pot head and i can come back and grow hydroponic pot and i'll be talking to the tomatoes and they'll be talking back.. it's another 3 months before i go, and i bet it will be twice as bad when i get back from being there ggrrr.
5. (Hydroponics again) my boss wore socks and sandals.
iamsickofyear12
Active Member
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- 2004
This is before I started working there but I someone told me the story.
I work at a bed store and this guy had a waterbed and the fibres inside got mixed up. They way you fix this is to drain it, fill it up with air and try to shake them around back into place.
This guy drained his bed and cut a hole 2ft long in the side, adjusted the fibres around then rang to try and get it patched up.
I work at a bed store and this guy had a waterbed and the fibres inside got mixed up. They way you fix this is to drain it, fill it up with air and try to shake them around back into place.
This guy drained his bed and cut a hole 2ft long in the side, adjusted the fibres around then rang to try and get it patched up.