Chinese parenting compared to Western (1 Viewer)

[Jaundice]

my mother didn't care that much about my education though. My white father did. I used to be an A student but ended up rebelling from 8-11.

I wasn't allowed to take up my place in Hills Sports (the selective sport side of the school) because their education wasn't that good.

I was moved schools because they didn't like my friends and my schools teaching but the school i moved to was actually worse. they just had a higher SC placing because they were in a differnet zone.

 

[ohexploitable]

• attend a sleepover I've never done this.

• have a playdate Wut? Sounds homo.

• be in a school play I'm not homo.

• complain about not being in a school play As above.

• watch TV or play computer games Used to do both 24/7.

• choose their own extracurricular activities Dad made be joins scouts but I rebelled.

• get any grade less than an A ATAR Aim: 80+

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama I am pretty athletic, destroyed everyone in PDHPE. I was shit at all other subjects.

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin I taught myself the guitar (then gave up).

• not play the piano or violin. I taught myself the piano, mum helped me. I gave it up anyway.

 

[Arceupins]

Go out and look at the bogans who have also been never pushed academically by their parents and fail in life and keep impregnating women and put pressure on the health system due to their stupidity.

That is why I support more the Asian style because it's forceful.

I disagree entirely. I'm not sure if you realise it, but a lot of these individuals actually have worthwhile, common sense professions that are critical to society. Where would we be if everyone was an economist, or a mathematician, or writer? Nowhere.

And I thought it was usually us caucasians who stereotyped other groups...

I'm a strong proponent of libertarianism, that is, the right of the individual to free thought and action.

If children are appropriately educated and treated as equals, they are, as individuals, able to make the decisions that will lead them along their chosen path. It's enabling in that it makes you responsible for your own life, and you become used to thinking logically about any choices you may encounter.

For instance, at the end of year 10 I had the choice of whether to drop out and take up a trade or continue through til the HSC. I chose, entirely of my own volition, to continue and complete the HSC and then to attend university afterward; not because my parents forced me to, but rather because I'd identified the direction I'd like to take in life and knew I was entirely capable of achieving my goals.

The same logical thought process can be applied to any choice in life. For instance, a study published in The Lancet mapped two key attributes (dependence, physical harm) of a number of common legal and illegal drugs. Unsurprisingly, LEGAL DRUG alcohol had a higher potential for abuse and causing physical harm than a number of other ILLEGAL DRUGS such as khat, cannabis, LSD and ecstasy.

Somehow, the idea of drinking until you vomit and pass out is socially acceptable, but popping a pill of ecstasy is not. Tell me where the logic in this is.

I know it seems as though I'm going off on a tangent, but the same idea applies to both my examples. Rather than controlling someone and making it impossible for them to do certain things, why not teach them why these things aren't a good idea and leave the final decision up to them?

The fostering of strong values and a solid appraise of logic in children and teenagers will create responsible, capable, and intelligent adults.

• attend a sleepover I've never done this.

Doesn't it feel like you're missing a chunk of your childhood? I mean, some of my best memories are of sneaking out at 2am to trek half way across town to retrieve a stash of alcohol, meet up with some girls, and then to sit on the still warm tarmac under a streetlight, playing spin-the-bottle and sipping luke-warm UDLs.

Gosh, those were the days :' )

 

[Jaundice]

Yeah the HSC was entirely my own choice. I didn't have to continue my education but I decided to. I didn't have to go to uni but i choose to.

I find that i am very intelligent compared to my asian friends educated to the extreme because i am not only academically smart, but i have independant thought, logic and very good common sense.

The asian parenting system comes at a high price. In order to excel they lose the chance to learn valuable life skills, develop logic/common sense and social skills. Sure they might learn bits and pieces but so many of the super students are socially retarded. I see so many asians on here with high ATAR's/UAI's that are among the most socially retarded people I've ever encountered.

Also, many of the super students don't know how to behave in the real world and what is considered socially acceptable and normal behaviour.

 

[Jaundice]

but hey they will have good jobs and make money but a lack of social skills could inhibit career promotions etc.

 

[Arceupins]

Just reposting this for the new page, lol : )

Go out and look at the bogans who have also been never pushed academically by their parents and fail in life and keep impregnating women and put pressure on the health system due to their stupidity.

That is why I support more the Asian style because it's forceful.

I disagree entirely. I'm not sure if you realise it, but a lot of these individuals actually have worthwhile, common sense professions that are critical to society. Where would we be if everyone was an economist, or a mathematician, or writer? Nowhere.

And I thought it was usually us caucasians who stereotyped other groups...

I'm a strong proponent of libertarianism, that is, the right of the individual to free thought and action.

If children are appropriately educated and treated as equals, they are, as individuals, able to make the decisions that will lead them along their chosen path. It's enabling in that it makes you responsible for your own life, and you become used to thinking logically about any choices you may encounter.

For instance, at the end of year 10 I had the choice of whether to drop out and take up a trade or continue through til the HSC. I chose, entirely of my own volition, to continue and complete the HSC and then to attend university afterward; not because my parents forced me to, but rather because I'd identified the direction I'd like to take in life and knew I was entirely capable of achieving my goals.

The same logical thought process can be applied to any choice in life. For instance, a study published in The Lancet mapped two key attributes (dependence, physical harm) of a number of common legal and illegal drugs. Unsurprisingly, LEGAL DRUG alcohol had a higher potential for abuse and causing physical harm than a number of other ILLEGAL DRUGS such as khat, cannabis, LSD and ecstasy.

Somehow, the idea of drinking until you vomit and pass out is socially acceptable, but popping a pill of ecstasy is not. Tell me where the logic in this is.

I know it seems as though I'm going off on a tangent, but the same idea applies to both my examples. Rather than controlling someone and making it impossible for them to do certain things, why not teach them why these things aren't a good idea and leave the final decision up to them?

The fostering of strong values and a solid appraise of logic in children and teenagers will create responsible, capable, and intelligent adults.

• attend a sleepover I've never done this.

Doesn't it feel like you're missing a chunk of your childhood? I mean, some of my best memories are of sneaking out at 2am to trek half way across town to retrieve a stash of alcohol, meet up with some girls, and then to sit on the still warm tarmac under a streetlight, playing spin-the-bottle and sipping luke-warm UDLs.

Gosh, those were the days :' )

 

[Shadowdude]

For those ticking themselves off from the list - realise you are completely missing the point. The article wanted to typify the psyche behind the "phenomenon". It is just an extreme example. It is not "Oh, well, I didn't satisfy #12 then my parents mustn't be very Asian even though they're Chinese!"

Arc, children will find ways to make that choice anyway. Like... people at school may bring alcohol or illegal drugs. They will make that choice anyway. So, "controlling" them I agree is wrong - what I was implying in my post was ensuring that they were taught very well. It obviously didn't come out the way I intended... my bad.

 

[Lolsmith]

I'd rather have a bogan parent that lets me impregnate women than an 'asian' parent that would sooner honour kill/sell off my female family members because someone older than them told them to

 

[Jaundice]

asian parents dont understand that our current existance is all about pleasure.

thats why we have such a long childhood compared to other animals. there's no need to make children grow up fast.

the world won't end if we all arent super lawyers or biochemists.

 

[Chevalier]

I'm 100% asian, with both of my parents from mainland China and both grew up during the ultra-conservative era of the 1960'-1980's.
They were both brought up by overly strict parents and they didn't have happy childhoods but it seems like the trend hasn't passed down the family and for that I guess I have to be thankful to some degree.

-I have been to sleepovers before. I would count around 10-15 or so in the past 6 years, not including School camps
-I don't know what a playdate is and have never been on one. But that's cause I'm introverted by nature and not exceptionally outgoing. Plus I went to an all male school
-I haven't been in a school play because I've never been interested in one (can someone plz tell me why ppl think asian parents don't let their children participate in such events as these which can only improve their child's self esteem and confidence?)
-I do watch tv (lots of it, mostly news and docos, but that's my personal preference) and play games, but not more than two hours a day most days (that's the first example of strict parental control in my life that I've mentioned, but I wouldn't call it overly strict)
-I choose my extra curricular activities (aside from charity events, mostly none I'm a lazy bugger)
-I have gotten worse than top grade marks before- PLENTY OF TIMES. I failed Science in Yrs 7, 9 and 10. I failed Prelim Chemistry, hence I dropped it I failed Maths from Yr 9-12 and in my HSC. Yes u heard me, my parents actually LET ME FAIL MATHS
-I was never the no.1 student, the most I ever got was no.3, but my parents never gave a toss about it anyways
-I DO NOT play any musical instrument. NO VIOLIN and (horror of horrors!) NO PIANO. Its cause they (and I) realised that I had no aptitude for music and that I had no appreciation of music and was musically illiterate from a young age. I still am (the latter, not the former)

Now don't get me wrong I'm not boasting about my upbringing, I just want to use my experiences as a contrast to what we've seen from other ppl so far.

So it does seem that my parents may have "gone off the rails" a bit when it came to bringing me up. But I still did well in the HSC. I got into my no.1 preference which was also agreed to by my parents, who were very open-minded about what would make a good career for someone with a clear aptitude and interest in the humanities, such as myself I find myself stuck between worlds. I'm not a typically smart Asian who's good at Maths, Chem, Phys or is studying Commerce at Uni, but then again I'm not particularly sociable or outgoing like Caucasians generally are. Which leads to me having a crisis of identity, one that will probably come back to bug me in the future, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

Now I certainly don't agree with the notion that all Asian parents are ultra strict and conservative like that Amy person. Nor do I wish to suggest that Chinese style parenting is superior to Western parenting. Indeed there has to be a balance between Eastern and Western parenting so that a child can benefit from having the tutelage of watchful parents who are perhaps a little more concerned and anxious that their child should tread the right path in life, or to use the Aussie phrase, make sure that "they're properly done." That said, a child can also benefit from being able to enjoy the freedom and sense of trust between parent and child that allows the child to make their own decisions in life. To use the political and economic term "laissez faire"- the freedom to pursue their own goals and let them get on with it.

I really think that you can only have so much of an influence on a child, especially once they hit high school and university. You can impose strict, even authoritarian style measures on a child but you can't change their fundamental needs and way of thinking. There's a yearning for freedom and independence deeply ingrained within all our psyches and when we hit puberty its just screaming to be heard.

This isn't much of an argument but I hope its insightful in some minute way, or dispells any general, stereotyped attitudes that ppl may have about asian parents.

 

[tommykins]

it's funny cause half you fucking idiots don't know why asian parents are like this, especially with the background they come from.

 

[Chevalier]

it's funny cause half you fucking idiots don't know why asian parents are like this, especially with the background they come from.

are u implying that u would know better when it comes to asian parents?

 

[Jaundice]

it's funny cause half you fucking idiots don't know why asian parents are like this, especially with the background they come from.

yeah they come from poverty stricken over populated world and having to work like crazy to put bread on the table. Etc. I always hear the stories about the old country from my mother and how they didnt have this or that and had to make everything themselves etc.

 

[Chevalier]

yeah they come from poverty stricken over populated world and having to work like crazy to put bread on the table. Etc. I always hear the stories about the old country from my mother and how they didnt have this or that and had to make everything themselves etc.

please tell me that was an excessive dose of sarcasm

 

[Jaundice]

nah i hear some pretty fucking bad stories and how peoples heads are cut off with machette's and put into bridges and buildings because they are supersitious and believe it will make the structure super strong or will never break

 

[Chevalier]

I'm sure they're nothing but old wives' tales, if not then perhaps such occurrences are only relegated to native or certain ethnic groups who still cling to tradition and generally live in underdeveloped parts of Asia. But the vast majority of Asian societies now are much more progressive

 

[ohexploitable]

My great-grandparents were buried alive for speaking against the communist party or some shit.

 

[tommykins]

please tell me that was an excessive dose of sarcasm

naive child, you don't know shit about suffering

 

[Jaundice]

I'm sure they're nothing but old wives' tales, if not then perhaps such occurrences are only relegated to native or certain ethnic groups who still cling to tradition and generally live in underdeveloped parts of Asia. But the vast majority of Asian societies now are much more progressive

Duh for the more progressive.

Countries like malaysia still have this shit going on. They aren't wives tales, i had a relative who was beheaded just after he knocked on his house and his mother opened the door to his slumped body.

 

[Chevalier]

yes I concede it must be true that authoritarian regimes such as the Chinese Communist Party imposed draconian laws and instituted cruel punishments for simply objecting to the extraordinarily harsh measure imposed by the state. But it isn't a feature endemic to Asian societies. It's been the case with the former Soviet Union too, not to mention authoritarian regimes in Europe such as Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy. But like I said before in contemporary times Asian societies are far more progressive, it'd be a slap in the face to every Chinese for saying that our way of doing things is backward and unjustly cruel compared to the West