So I've fallen in love with the cover girl of the Good Universities Guide 2011... (1 Viewer)

[twistedrebel]

In 4 years your more likely to face man city/totternham/aersnal than man u. Also some fixation with FC porto?

 

[Shadowdude]

Well, as the main character in this story - I think I should play the love interest of S., and if I end up with her - S. can play S. Now C. is a biatch as I mentioned so we'll have to get a lookalike for her - someone that looks like Sarah Palin, because she looks like her anyway.

And I think this movie will break all records =P

It's a love story, sports story, action story, comedy story, adventure story - there's really something in it for everyone.

 

[slyhunter]

In 4 years your more likely to face man city/totternham/aersnal than man u. Also some fixation with FC porto?

Arsenal's the most likely out of that list imo.

Well, as the main character in this story - I think I should play the love interest of S., and if I end up with her - S. can play S. Now C. is a biatch as I mentioned so we'll have to get a lookalike for her - someone that looks like Sarah Palin, because she looks like her anyway.

And I think this movie will break all records =P

It's a love story, sports story, action story, comedy story, adventure story - there's really something in it for everyone.

You need to get James Cameron to direct this. =P

 

[Shadowdude]

twisted, I told you all the fixtures were taken from my experiences in FIFA 08 Manager Mode where I got to FC Porto and went from there. Except the Sydney FC fixture, that's one I added to advance the story.

And we'll sign him on I suppose. And we'll hire you as Alex Ferguson!


Besides, there'll be parallels to Jose Mourinho. I'm a big Mourinho fan. "I am fantastic. I am the best." - that kind of thing. Arrogant completely, but he almost always backs it up with wins.

 

[Arcorn]

C. is short for cunt, right? S. for soulmate?

 

[slyhunter]

twisted, I told you all the fixtures were taken from my experiences in FIFA 08 Manager Mode where I got to FC Porto and went from there. Except the Sydney FC fixture, that's one I added to advance the story.

And we'll sign him on I suppose. And we'll hire you as Alex Ferguson!


Besides, there'll be parallels to Jose Mourinho. I'm a big Mourinho fan. "I am fantastic. I am the best." - that kind of thing. Arrogant completely, but he almost always backs it up with wins.

Barcelona 5-0 Real Madrid. Game over Mourinho.

 

[unholybuddha]

Oh I don't know, you'll have to ask them. When it was 2007 or so I was apparently making fake emails and now apparently it's encompassed actual stalking and threats of violence.

Those teenage girls - their logic and reasoning skills are negligible and essentially zero.


Seriously, you'd think: "Okay, so apparently I'm stalking you. I don't think that's true, let's talk through your concerns" would be enough to off-put them, so they could sit down and have a decent conversation and debate it with me. But no, as soon as I breached the ten metre or so barrier: "OMG, YOU'RE THE STALKER! GET AWAY!"

Unfortunately, amidst all that blubbering mass of stupidity, insolence and incomprehensible jibberish commonly attributed to teenage girls, is - what I believe to be - my soulmate.

It's a plot that would totally fit an Academy Award Best Picture movie, you know? Whether success or failure on my part.


EDIT: The movie, would go like this...

Now just with a bit of background - we'll call the paranoid and incomprehensible leader of the anti-Shadowdude establishment 'C.' and my soulmate, 'S.'

Okay, so in the movie - I'll go to university and one of my friends ends up working for FC Porto - which has had a shocker in the Portugese Liga and has fallen into relegation. Anyway, for some reason, he calls upon me to coach the team - now obviously I don't have the UEFA Pro Licence needed and so FC Porto and UEFA reach an agreement where I can coach, while concurrently completing my UEFA licence. So after I finish my Science degree, I go over to Portugal and learn the language. After my first season, I bring FC Porto back into the Liga and in my second season, bring them agonisingly close to Portugese Liga victory - getting 2nd place to Benfica.

Meanwhile, C. and S. are back happily in Australia and C. has ended up getting a boyfriend and S. is still single. In my third season, I take the Champions League spot (as I am in second place) and bring the club to the semi-finals where I face Red Bull Salzburg. I lose the first leg 4-0 and then in the second leg, am leading 5-0 at the Dragao before a late goal by them makes us win 5-1 and lose out on away goals. However, victory would eventually come to us via the Cup and League.

In my fourth season - and I am now 24 - as a now famous Australian in football circles, I return to Australia with FC Porto in a few matches against A-League clubs to form a partnership between the A-League and the Portugese Liga. Secretly, I use my spare time to find S. - and eventually track her down. I go up to her house and am met by her parents, and we exchange pleasantries - and I offer them tickets to FC Porto v Sydney FC at ANZ Stadium (or whatever it is called then) along with S. and her felow siblings that night, giving them tickets to a skybox or whatever it's called.

That night, after I defeat Sydney FC 6-0 - I go and meet S. and we start going out. Then, the paranoid C. comes in and starts dissuading her from dating me because of the reasons above. Eventually, S. decides to stay in Australia for now and I go back to Porto to begin my fourth season (as the above was done during the summer break in Europe).

During the December-January break, the bond between S. and I is so strong that she decides to move to Portugal with me - infuriating C. Anyway, a few months later - C. gets a new boyfriend and of course, she being ignorant, she doesn't know who I am. The boyfriend is an FC Porto fan and C. gets infuriated when the boyfriend wakes her up at 4 in the morning to watch the Champions League final between FC Porto and Manchester United - and even more so when she sees myself in the managers box (though she's more confused) with S.

I win the Champions League defeating Manchester United on penalties with my goalkeeper Helton and striker Helder Postiga retiring, with Postiga netting the winning penalty. I trade in Oscar Ustari from Argentina and Bojan Krkic from Barcelona to lead my front line with Quaresma and Leandro Lima - in a 4-3-3 formation.

In the last scene, FC Porto's players parade around the ground with the Champions League trophy, while S. and I go to the centre circle - the rain begins to pour, the crowd behind is fully celebrating as the Dragao is the venue and FC Porto win 'at home', and a lucky photographer from Spain happens to capture the shot of me proposing to S. - with the rain falling, and the players out of focus in the background and the crowd going wild.

The Champions League Anthem plays - and the movie finishes.


Also, the majority of the Champions League fixtures and Portugese League things I said may or may not have been directly taken from my exploits in FIFA 08 Manager Mode with FC Porto... =P

you my friend, have waaaay to much time on your hands

 

[Shadowdude]

I said almost always =P

And Arcorn... yes. That's what it stands for, totally!

/me writes down this new development in his notepad

 

[Aquawhite]

Oh I don't know, you'll have to ask them. When it was 2007 or so I was apparently making fake emails and now apparently it's encompassed actual stalking and threats of violence.

Those teenage girls - their logic and reasoning skills are negligible and essentially zero.


Seriously, you'd think: "Okay, so apparently I'm stalking you. I don't think that's true, let's talk through your concerns" would be enough to off-put them, so they could sit down and have a decent conversation and debate it with me. But no, as soon as I breached the ten metre or so barrier: "OMG, YOU'RE THE STALKER! GET AWAY!"

Unfortunately, amidst all that blubbering mass of stupidity, insolence and incomprehensible jibberish commonly attributed to teenage girls, is - what I believe to be - my soulmate.

It's a plot that would totally fit an Academy Award Best Picture movie, you know? Whether success or failure on my part.


EDIT: The movie, would go like this...

Now just with a bit of background - we'll call the paranoid and incomprehensible leader of the anti-Shadowdude establishment 'C.' and my soulmate, 'S.'

Okay, so in the movie - I'll go to university and one of my friends ends up working for FC Porto - which has had a shocker in the Portugese Liga and has fallen into relegation. Anyway, for some reason, he calls upon me to coach the team - now obviously I don't have the UEFA Pro Licence needed and so FC Porto and UEFA reach an agreement where I can coach, while concurrently completing my UEFA licence. So after I finish my Science degree, I go over to Portugal and learn the language. After my first season, I bring FC Porto back into the Liga and in my second season, bring them agonisingly close to Portugese Liga victory - getting 2nd place to Benfica.

Meanwhile, C. and S. are back happily in Australia and C. has ended up getting a boyfriend and S. is still single. In my third season, I take the Champions League spot (as I am in second place) and bring the club to the semi-finals where I face Red Bull Salzburg. I lose the first leg 4-0 and then in the second leg, am leading 5-0 at the Dragao before a late goal by them makes us win 5-1 and lose out on away goals. However, victory would eventually come to us via the Cup and League.

In my fourth season - and I am now 24 - as a now famous Australian in football circles, I return to Australia with FC Porto in a few matches against A-League clubs to form a partnership between the A-League and the Portugese Liga. Secretly, I use my spare time to find S. - and eventually track her down. I go up to her house and am met by her parents, and we exchange pleasantries - and I offer them tickets to FC Porto v Sydney FC at ANZ Stadium (or whatever it is called then) along with S. and her felow siblings that night, giving them tickets to a skybox or whatever it's called.

That night, after I defeat Sydney FC 6-0 - I go and meet S. and we start going out. Then, the paranoid C. comes in and starts dissuading her from dating me because of the reasons above. Eventually, S. decides to stay in Australia for now and I go back to Porto to begin my fourth season (as the above was done during the summer break in Europe).

During the December-January break, the bond between S. and I is so strong that she decides to move to Portugal with me - infuriating C. Anyway, a few months later - C. gets a new boyfriend and of course, she being ignorant, she doesn't know who I am. The boyfriend is an FC Porto fan and C. gets infuriated when the boyfriend wakes her up at 4 in the morning to watch the Champions League final between FC Porto and Manchester United - and even more so when she sees myself in the managers box (though she's more confused) with S.

I win the Champions League defeating Manchester United on penalties with my goalkeeper Helton and striker Helder Postiga retiring, with Postiga netting the winning penalty. I trade in Oscar Ustari from Argentina and Bojan Krkic from Barcelona to lead my front line with Quaresma and Leandro Lima - in a 4-3-3 formation.

In the last scene, FC Porto's players parade around the ground with the Champions League trophy, while S. and I go to the centre circle - the rain begins to pour, the crowd behind is fully celebrating as the Dragao is the venue and FC Porto win 'at home', and a lucky photographer from Spain happens to capture the shot of me proposing to S. - with the rain falling, and the players out of focus in the background and the crowd going wild.

The Champions League Anthem plays - and the movie finishes.


Also, the majority of the Champions League fixtures and Portugese League things I said may or may not have been directly taken from my exploits in FIFA 08 Manager Mode with FC Porto... =P

tl;dr

Someone summarise.

 

[twistedrebel]

Slyhunter aersnal would have lost cesc, rvp, nasri, wilkshire by then. Man U would have no one left as they have no money. Man city i dunno whats going to happen there, while Totternham will be their if they dont lose redknapp to England, but I have a feeling they will lose him.

btw where can i get this uni guide from, any newsagent and how much.

 

[slyhunter]

tl;dr

Someone summarise.

Football manager with romantic life. =P

Slyhunter aersnal would have lost cesc, rvp, nasri, wilkshire by then. Man U would have no one left as they have no money. Man city i dunno whats going to happen there, while Totternham will be their if they dont lose redknapp to England, but I have a feeling they will lose him.

btw where can i get this uni guide from, any newsagent and how much.

I don't know for sure. Wenger has a knack with bringing in younger players. Cesc might go the Barca, but I doubt RVP and Nasri would leave anytime soon. Wilkshere is a maybe for me. =D

I agree Man Utd will probably go broke since the Glazers are crappy owners and they have plenty of ageing players. Man City is most likely to run out of money to since the Sheik is gonna go broke too if Mancini keeps up this level of spending with no silverware to back it up with. Tottenham might but I reckon they have a pretty suspect defence (this was shown with how many goals they managed to leak during CL even though they topped group A).

And that guide, people have posted links here. I dunno if they're still there.

 

[Shadowdude]

Aqua, I get hired to coach a football team - I return to Australia and meet S. finally, but C. is against it - and is S.'s best friend. S. eventually goes my way and comes back with me and I win the Champions League, and her heart. =P

twisted, you can get the GUG (Good Uni Guide) from most newsagents for $25. Just look for the picture with the pretty girl on front:

 

[unholybuddha]

what does the book say about the engineering and commerce faculties at unsw at usyd. i'm most likely doing comm/eng at uni

 

[Shadowdude]

Okay unholybuddha, just for the faculties alone

Engineering:

At UNSW - 5122 undergrads, 1263 from abroad, 62% from school, 6% over 25, 8% part time, 47% NESB. Teaching quality and, generic skills are average while overall satisfaction is 'better'. 12% were seeking work 4 months after graduating, 41% went to work in the public sector, 12% in private practice, 38% for private industry, 8% abroad and 12% to further study. Salary is average at $59 861
At Sydney - 2517 undergrads, 474 from abroad, 94% from school, 4% over 25 years, 6% part time, 1% external study, 56% from non-English speaking background (NESB). Teaching quality, generic skills and overall satisfaction are all average. 22% were looking for work (worse) 4 months after graduating, of graduates: 10% public, 42% private, 41% private industry, 6% abroad, 9% further study. Salary average at $56 606.

For Commerce:

Sydney - 4586 undergrad, 1498 abroad, 72% school leavers, 3% over 25, 7% part time, 1% external, 64% from NESB. 24% seeking work 4 months after graduation, of graduates: 10% in public, 23% private practice, 60% private industry, 5% abroad, 24% to further study. Salary was better than average at 54 253
UNSW - 5815 undergrads, 1472 abroad, 79% from school, 2% over 25, 8% part time, 66% NESB. 15% seeking work 4 months after (better), 35% public, 8% private, 43% private practice, 10% abroad, 13% further study, salary was 'better' at $56 829.

Anything else?

All were average in teaching quality, skills and satisfaction.

 

[unholybuddha]

i guess UNSW it is then.. that minute chance of me going to USYD is gone.

thanks for typing all that info for me . really appreciate it

 

[Shadowdude]

That's okay, I have lots of free time on my hands anyway. Why not use it to help people? I says to myself.

 

[Aquawhite]

That's okay, I have lots of free time on my hands anyway. Why not use it to help people? I says to myself.

Care to look up Biomedical Science/Medical Science and Medicine at Griffith University? I wanna know what the GUG thinks of it; because in my opinion it's got one of the greatest teaching resources available and good job prospects.

 

[hscishard]

wow @ thread

 

[Shadowdude]

Griffith University...

Teaching quality and graduate satisfaction - 1 star
Generic skills and staff/student ratios - 2 stars (along with getting a job, positive graduate outcomes and graduate starting salary)
Staff qualifications - 3 stars

For Medicine - 491 studying, 2 international students, teaching quality, generic skills and satisfaction according to them is 'average'. 42% over 25, 18% NESB.

For Biomedical Science - 397 undergrads*, 19 intl's. 65% from school, 25% over 25, 12% part time, 1% external, 25% NESB. teaching quality and skills are average, overall satisfaction is 'worse' (compared to other universities in that field). 44% are seeking work 4 months after graduation (worse), 39% work in public sector, 54% private, 8% private industry, 28% go to further study.

* - all info here is for the University's entire Health Science

For Medical Science - 1765 undergrads*, 233 intls, 69% from school, 13% over 25, 11% part time, 2% external study, 28% NESB. Graduates say teach quality, skills and satisfaction are 'worse', 43% of graduates are looking for work 4 months after grad (worse), 23% go to work in private sector, 12% into private practice, 54% private industry, 3% abroad, 52% further study - graduate salary 44 789, worse.


Make of that as you wish.

* - all here for University's entire Science Dept,

 

[Aquawhite]

I'd be interested to know how GUG evaluates these standards and how they are applied to the universities and their faculties...