So I've fallen in love with the cover girl of the Good Universities Guide 2011... (6 Viewers)

[Mature Lamb]

You need alcohol mate.

I'm gonna take you out and get you plastered.

Bonus challenge for you Shadowdude. Have 1 drink before you meet new people, it'll loosen you up Who cares what it tastes like because the taste of overcoming your social awkwardness is much better

 

[Shadowdude]

Do drinks of water count?

Besides, my liver isn't fully developed and I already have many medical problems - and I don't want to add to them <_<

 

[Fighting4LastPl]

lol finally socially awkward people i can relate to. I'll probably try that talk to one person in the lecture thing. Man I'm not even 18 yet and even if I was I refuse to follow the social norm and drink simply because I believe it contradicts what your trying to do in uni. (Drinking as we all know it kills brain cells and slows our thinking speed)

 

[Mature Lamb]

lol finally socially awkward people i can relate to. I'll probably try that talk to one person in the lecture thing. Man I'm not even 18 yet and even if I was I refuse to follow the social norm and drink simply because I believe it contradicts what your trying to do in uni. (Drinking as we all know it kills brain cells and slows our thinking speed)

100% money-back guarantee if it doesn't work Personally I reckon if you atleast try to be a more socially confident person, even if you make a fool of yourself, people would respect you more than as a socially awkward person.

 

[xeuyrawp]

This is what counts in the end:

Success in getting a job - 4/5
Graduate starting salary - 5/5
Positive graduate outcomes - 5/5

That is what counts in the end if all that counts to you is making money.

Some people have other priorities.

 

[Arcorn]

First I'd like to say ANU is more prestigious than USyd, same with University of Melbourne, they both have higher international rankings.

Anyway, onto your social awkwardness. Dude, I used to be like that, I don't have posters on my walls, I have surrealist imagery and the map of online communities yet I'm still well liked and very well known around town(my nickname is the poonmaster, everyone fucking knows me, it is fucking weird.) I used to be introverted as fuck, I'm still an introvert at heart but I enjoy getting out and meeting people(takes me a bit into the night or alcohol to get me talking to people I don't know but still.)

Basic advice is always try to find something they like talking about, especially with girls, it always works. I've had 3 girlfriends over the past year and another 7 or 8 girls who wanted me. I'm not attractive and I do belittle a lot of people with intelligence levels below mine. Seriously, find a subject they like talking about that you can comment on or whatever. Talking to people isn't hard, you do fine on here just take it out into the real world.

I used to hate alcohol, still throw up half the time because I end up drinking a lot more than everyone else or I consume it faster(like last night, turned up to my girlfriend's place and there were 4 girls there, all drunk. It is awkward being the only sober one with a bunch of drunk people so I was playing catch-up, ended up having half a bottle of vodka as well as some rum and champagne within an hour.) Seriously, even if you only have a couple it will remove your inhibitions, and will help you talk to people. If you do end up drinking lots drink plenty of water and have a barocca before going to bed, should avoid a hangover(that was why I threw up this morning was because I didn't have any barocca, avoided the headache with the water trick though.)

Dude, start conversations, at parties or whatever half the people are going to be drunk, you can drink to fit in and understand why the fuck they do all that awesome stuff or you can stay sober and laugh. Either way, if you're drunk it is going to make social interaction easier. If they're drunk same deal, they won't care what you talk about because everything is hilarious when drunk.

 

[Mature Lamb]

Basic advice is always try to find something they like talking about, especially with girls, it always works. I've had 3 girlfriends over the past year and another 7 or 8 girls who wanted me. I'm not attractive and I do belittle a lot of people with intelligence levels below mine. Seriously, find a subject they like talking about that you can comment on or whatever. Talking to people isn't hard, you do fine on here just take it out into the real world.

Dude, start conversations, at parties or whatever half the people are going to be drunk, you can drink to fit in and understand why the fuck they do all that awesome stuff or you can stay sober and laugh. Either way, if you're drunk it is going to make social interaction easier. If they're drunk same deal, they won't care what you talk about because everything is hilarious when drunk.

Absolutely true. Girls love talking about themselves. Try not to make it seem like you're interviewing them when asking questions (asking what school they went to and what subjects they did is fine, but asking for their teachers' name and whether they liked them or not can make them uncomfortable.) Also, drunk people are easygoing and easy to befriend.

 

[Arcorn]

Not all are, I was wondering the streets just after midnight and there were other people with light so I went towards them yelling out and they sounded like aboriginals and threatened to beat us up.

But if you're at the same party it is generally the case.

 

[OMFG7891]

I'm Asian - by definition, I don't go out =P

More seriously, if you want to know - okay, here's my reckoning - and since you seem genuine, I'll give you the manifesto:

Firstly, I have an inability to talk to one girl - which, unfortunately and perhaps tragically, is the woman I am completely infatuated/attracted to. And it's not due to social awkwardness or anything, it's really the distance barrier between myself and wherever she is right now. Throw in a few aggravating factors such as paranoid friends and some aspects of the paragraph to follow... it's not looking good for me. I resolved to myself last year the next time I saw her would be the time I would start a series of events that would hopefully end with our marriage (because I'm old school like that =P)

Anyway, I think in most general situations, I'd be able to converse - but only if the other person talks to me first. However, the other person would have to carry the conversation because I'm naturally shy and thus I don't carry conversations well. If you ask me a question, I'll answer it. If you ask me to comment on something, I'll do it. But I note that I will not be the one to ask the questions or ask for comments.

Other than that, as stated, I am naturally shy - though I will attend parties (because I figure sitting alone sucks), but will affix my attention to the food and drink tables or the TV or something else. I'm not the person who will go and actively seek out conversation, but rather wait to be talked to - because I don't have that type of personality. I am an introvert, but in the company of friends - I morph into an extrovert, and perhaps talk the most out of all.

I believe that I am 'socially awkward' (if it can be called that) because I grew up in a very sheltered environment. I was not allowed to go out for the most part, and thus never got to talk to other people much. Thus, fast forward ten or so years - girls now expect you to be the master of chatting and wooing, and unfortunately I don't have this prerequisite fulfilled and essentially talking to any new girl from my perspective is with a view to dating them. I have negligible and essentially zero knowledge on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, and yeah.

Fortunately, there are some exceptions to that rule - and I've developed meaningful acquaintances with some females at my school, and was able to just go up to them and talk to them normally.

For males, I don't follow the usual sports. I am a staunch oppositionist to AFL and NRL, and my two favourite sports to watch and play are football and cricket. I also don't go gaga over cars or see it necessary to embellish my walls with pictures of scantily clad women as seems to be the norm with some males. I'm not that great at sport either, though I am enthusiastic about it. Otherwise, I never got to go out and thus didn't make social circles at places such as sport and things like that. My friends only come from school.

My preference to academic study and things along those lines have perhaps alienated me from making more social connections wherever I've gone - though at university, the premise of clubs is an exciting one for me - though I'm not sure if I'll be able to muster the courage to go up to the booths and sign up. I may need 'emotional support', that is a few people who'll go with me. I've found that I usually would like them wherever I go, whether it be going up to the canteen or talking to a teacher. I find the conversation I can develop with my friends and the feeling of security and the like is pleasing to me.

Moreover, I have very... niche tastes. For example, girls in my year often went "OMG MELISSA DIED ON PACKED TO THE RAFTERS!" or "lol did you see jersey shore (or whatever it is) last night?" and guys would often be like "Yeah, Dragons are gonna win!" or "V8 supercars, yeeee". Fortunately, if the topic strayed to cricket or football - I'd be able to converse with some more of the boys, and I did do that especially in the final years of school. However, my preference to nightly TV is Jeopardy! - an American TV game show which has its clues in the form of answers and the responses must be in the form of questions. And so my chattings would be on the lines of: "That Larissa person is good! What is it... $225 000 in 6 days?" or "How about that clue on Word Origins last night? Tough Final."

Music - you may think - would be a point of connection, but while everyone listens to Muse or Usher or whatever, the majority of my music comes from the Eurovision Song Contest and FIFA game soundtracks. Lately, I've found a liking to some popular music - Lady Gaga comes to mind, as does Katy Perry and perhaps Paramore. And as stated, due to my image as 'the person who likes that weird music', people won't discuss music with me usually.

The books I read are also very... obscure. Nicholson Baker and Max Barry are my two favourite authors - though I've only read one Baker book, but I like his style. In addition, look at my subjects. They are very 'elitist' in a way - for example, I was the only one who did MX2 at my school.

In summary: I'm eccentric and weird. And I alienate myself or others because of it.

It just seems like you're overthinking everything. I'm a bit worried about making friends at uni too, due to my eccentricty, but I figure there will be a whole lot of people there so there are bound to be people who I'll get along well with. Which is why I'm also very excited to join clubs. Which, in regards to your need to go with someone to the booth, I must point out the people at said clubs are going to want as many people as possible to join so they're all going to be very friendly.

As a girl, I wouldn't expect someone to be a "master of chatting and wooing" nor do I know any girls at my school who would expect that either. I think you're thinking way to hard about how to get girls. Instead of going into a conversation with them with the intention of dating them, just talk to them with the intention of making a friend. If you just become friends them, then they can introduce you to their friends and maybe you'll find someone you click with that way, all the while you'll be getting used to talking to people.

Oh and with your taste in music, firstly, Eurovision is awesome. Secondly, if you ever spy a gig with a band you like or even one you'd be open to liking you should go, even if it's by yourself. In my experience people are awful friendly at music festivals and the like, largley because if you're up the front nobody has any plans on moving for a few hours so in between sets you can talk about how awesome/bad the band was then move onto other things.

Thankyou for answering me because I really was just genuinley curious and if you end up going to UNSW this year I do believe I am going to force you to talk to people. Because really, nothing I read in that post made you sound very weird at all. Just interesting and who likes boring people anyway

 

[sinophile]

I have heard that USyd teachers were incredibly elitist. Of course ive never actually studied there so I can't say for certain. It certainly seems plausible though.

Ultimately, what made me go to UNSW rather than USyd was the facilities. UNSW's are relatively new and while USyd has a lovely looking campus a lot of the classrooms are old and not comfortable to sit in. During their orientation days I explored both their libraries extensively. Usyd's was friggin horrible, it was dingy as shit with poor ventilation and you had to go turn on the light (which automatically shut down) every ten minutes, I guess if you want to pretend to be harry potter that sort of thing would appeal to you

 

[sinophile]

And yes I am obviously biased towards UNSW

 

[sinophile]

Why do people treat introvert personalities as bad things which must be expunged immeadiately

 

[Shadowdude]

Arcorn, yeah - I realised that when I read the Guide... then again I'm not too sure about moving away from home.

And fine, I'll go and talk to people... well, try to at least. I'll adapt my knowledge of the 'social psyche' from movies I have seen and comment on things such as the weather, the atmosphere, any common subject in the local area or perhaps anything else I can conjure up.

Though I won't drink. No drinking for me =P

I think - as a person who likes to write - I'll have enough fun observing the actions of drunk people.


OMFG, of course I'm overthinking (or as my friends like to call it 'rationalising everything')! It's part of my persona. I suppose joining clubs won't be that bad, I'll probably start all conversations with a master line such as: "So... this is the _______ club. What exactly... do you do?"

And I say the "master of chatting and wooing" because tragically - I have fallen to the strength of hormones and seem to be only attracted to hot chicks. It's embarrassing somewhat - as I'm horribly elitist and would like to scoff at those who only like their girlfriends due to their looks, though it seems I can't escape that. And that disconcerts me.

Though, as I said - I'll go up to some people. Though I can't escape the fact that if a random Asian guy (i.e. myself) goes up to a girl and starts talking, the thought of 'Hmm, this guy wants to date me' will probably cross her mind. Even if just for a second.

And as I said, I'm not very good at this whole 'socialising' thing. So you'll have to prod me. And then if I fail, we can talk about Eurovision afterwards (as I'm 96% set on UNSW) =P

We could say 'Hai' at the info day. /me shrugs


sinophile, intriguing. Though introvert personalities are secretive and maybe people don't like that. I just can't help that I like sitting on the side observing people.

In fact, as John Fowles said, to be able to write well about a society - one must remove themselves from it and observe objectively from the outside.

 

[Phoenix Fury]

At uni there are plenty of opportunities to talk to people without it seeming too random / omfg he wanna d8 me?!?!?
Probably depends somewhat on course and uni but yeh.

 

[Shadowdude]

Well, if she has dark brown hair with eyes to match and a skin colour that juxtaposes well - I probably won't be able to hide it =P

And a few other combinations as well. But so far, I've found the above permutation always gets the required emotions...


It'll be at UNSW though, so there'll be lots of people. And I'll be doing Science as well... and apparently all the hot chicks are doing Arts so /me shrugs

 

[Shadowdude]

Me too sinophile, me too...

Ah well, think on the bright side. Single-ness means I get to write melancholily brilliant stories about love.

I actually have a funny story to tell on that subject. Anyway for EX2, I of course had large sections of my story dedicated to romantic fiction and love. So I asked one of my classmates who had a girlfriend to think of his girlfriend and come up with great sayings which I could use for my story.

After fifteen minutes, I had four - and he had none.

Then again, they broke up a few months later. So, who knows!

 

[OMFG7891]

I don't think being introverted is a bad thing, I used quite introverted and shy upon meeting new people (in many ways I guess I still am a bit). It's just that when it gets to the point that it's very difficult to make friends and the like then you want to become more open.

Shadow, lets face it, everyone is initially attracted to people based on looks it's not until you talk to someone that you get to appreciate their personality. There's no shame in it. And even if she thinks you want to date her talk anyway, she'll get the idea that you don't after a while and if she doesn't, it doesn't really matter. But yes, I will help you out and I doubt you'll fail but if you do then we'll fail together haha
And yes come to UNSW, I've had something against Usyd ever since Yr 10 when one of their reps came to my school and all they did was say how high their cut offs were and that perhaps we look at another uni :S That said, every year after that the reps have been very nice and welcoming but still... haha
But I'm not going to the info day because I already checked everything out on the Open day so I won't be going to Sydney until my College starts their O' week

 

[Arcorn]

Dude, talk to girls you think are cute, hot girls are normally bitches because they're up themselves. Cute girls generally have better personalities and are easier to talk to but I guess it is your own personal preference.

And I like to observe as well, it's easier. All you need to do is find someone similar, there are heaps of people out there like that. They're easy to talk to because a lot of the time you have more in common.

Also sinophile, you have to talk to girls to get one.

 

[Shadowdude]

I don't use the word 'cute' though, I use the photogenic/hot (lustworthy) dichotomy...

I suppose I should stray to the photogenic side anyway... well, wish me luck - I'll need it. =P

I'll see what I can do at the Info Day. Though I went to the Sydney Open Day and I sat next to this guy on the bus to Central, and - I still don't believe this - he picks up a phone from the ground and says, "Hey, is this yours?" to two girls sitting in the next aisle down. They then reply and then they start chit-chattering and prattling away for the entire fifteen minute bus ride (there was a traffic jam) and I'm sitting there going 'What... the... #@%!"

Amazing how people can make it so easy.

 

[Arcorn]

I don't take public transport, there is always that one weird guy you don't want to sit next to on the bus. Also I have my own car and live in a town of 20K so fuel isn't too expensive.