What is so good about being a virgin? (3 Viewers)

[jumb]

Time to flame on.

So, the question was raised... "what's so good about being a virgin..." then someone raised "biblical/religious issues." I'm a Christian, I know what's so good about it. I have many, many friends of all ages who are still virgins and proud of it! I'm not a virgin so I'm speaking from the other side... I lost my virginity prior to becoming a Christian. This is why Christian's keep sex for marriage...

That was me who said that, and I stand by it. I also believe that you're a pretty shitty spokesperson for abstinance when you have had sex before. Just because you're a "born again christian", it doesn't mean you've wiped the slate clean. You DID have sex, you DO remember it, the memory WILL affect your opinion and decision on things in life.

It is a mistruth when people presume that Christian's believe sex is bad... thats not what we believe at all! God created sex, he created everything about sex, including making sex to feel good. When he created people, everything was perfect, including sex.

I understand what you're saying, but you make a shitty argument. If sex is so good, why restrict us to only having it with one person? How can one person make a judgement on abstinance . There isn't a single person who can, say "I've had a life only having sex with one person and I have had another life having sex with many people, and I believe the better one is..."

...But then people stuffed up, turned their backs on God and decided they wanted to do things their way. Sin (selfishness) entered the world and people. Everything became shattered and broken because of it. Man's (and woman's) relationship with God became shattered too.

Hang on, just a second ago you were saying that God likes sex and let's not forget that HE was the one that made it so good. He IS the one that tempted us.

Man (and woman) began disobeying God, one of these being, having sex outside of marriage. God created sex, He knows where its best put. An illustration of the above is a mirror. Imagine that you're holding a mirror infront of your face - perfect image of what you look like, and then you smash it and look down at your reflection again - its shattered and broken, pieces are everywhere and it makes no sense... That's what sex is like when its taken out of where it was created to be!

That's a shitty analgy. If you broke a mirror and looked at it, it would look the same unless the pieces were at different angles. Also, let's not forget this isn't a debate about religion. If you want to bible bash, take it elsewhere. However, I'm allowed to debate your points. <3 double standards.

Some NON BIBLICAL points to consider on why its worth saving your virginity:
1) ~ imagine waiting until the night when you're securely married the the person you love with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and then you can give them everything you have... wouldn't that be better than the scraps you have left from all the broken relationships and trust from the past?
2) ~ you can both learn with each other. there is no need for any pre judgements and the sex can be a journey into seeing what makes each other happy.
3) ~ relationships that breakdown (i can speak from experience here especially!!!) hurt so much worse when sex is involved between the two people. another illustration... 2 pieces of bread, one with peanut butter on it. put the two pieces together and take them apart again... the other piece of bread has parts of the other... you can't have a relationship involving sex without giving a part of yourself to the other person. and when you break up, and most dating relationships do compared to marriages, it just hurts more and more.

1) This is rediculous. How can you tell us that sex with someone is better when you're a virgin when you're NOT a vigin.

2) Not a bad point, but not a good one either.

3) Another dodgy analagy. It sounds like you've been thinking about this, and one day though of these analgies and suddenly thought that you were a genius. You're also insinuating that EVERY relationship with sex, will end in heartbreak and scar your heart. How presumptuous.

Hope this helped some people, even if it wasn't to sway you from loosing your virginity before marriage, maybe it helped you understand where Christian's are coming from in keeping it!

Yes, they are comming from point of view, clouded by their own pretentiousness and hypocrisy. Actually, this hasn't helped, I knew that already.

Catch ya!

I can't wait.

ps: I'm going to bed

 

[Tulipa]

i can't rep you anymore jumb

i wish i could

and i got the best answer from atticusfinch on msn

i just cant find it right now

dammit

 

[Meldrum]

Time to flame on.



That was me who said that, and I stand by it. I also believe that you're a pretty shitty spokesperson for abstinance when you have had sex before. Just because you're a "born again christian", it doesn't mean you've wiped the slate clean. You DID have sex, you DO remember it, the memory WILL affect your opinion and decision on things in life.



I understand what you're saying, but you make a shitty argument. If sex is so good, why restrict us to only having it with one person? How can one person make a judgement on abstinance . There isn't a single person who can, say "I've had a life only having sex with one person and I have had another life having sex with many people, and I believe the better one is..."



Hang on, just a second ago you were saying that God likes sex and let's not forget that HE was the one that made it so good. He IS the one that tempted us.



That's a shitty analgy. If you broke a mirror and looked at it, it would look the same unless the pieces were at different angles. Also, let's not forget this isn't a debate about religion. If you want to bible bash, take it elsewhere. However, I'm allowed to debate your points. <3 double standards.



1) This is rediculous. How can you tell us that sex with someone is better when you're a virgin when you're NOT a vigin.

2) Not a bad point, but not a good one either.

3) Another dodgy analagy. It sounds like you've been thinking about this, and one day though of these analgies and suddenly thought that you were a genius. You're also insinuating that EVERY relationship with sex, will end in heartbreak and scar your heart. How presumptuous.



Yes, they are comming from point of view, clouded by their own pretentiousness and hypocrisy. Actually, this hasn't helped, I knew that already.


I can't wait.

ps: I'm going to bed

lol
To do what?

 

[Lennie]

Haha..............

Where to start.

Some NON BIBLICAL points to consider on why its worth saving your virginity:
~ imagine waiting until the night when you're securely married the the person you love with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and then you can give them everything you have... wouldn't that be better than the scraps you have left from all the broken relationships and trust from the past?

What?? Huh?? Firstly, christians arent the ONLY people in the world who are capable of loving someone "with all your heart, soul, mind and strength ". Just because an evil non-christian has had relationships in the past, doesnt mean its made them into a horrible, cold and hardened person incapable of giving their partner anything more then "scraps from all the broken relationships and trust from the past"

Quite the opposite.

It usually means that they are more knowledgeble about what they want from a relationship. Yes, the divorce rate may be higher among non-christians, but isnt the reason for that obvious?? Divorce is taboo among the church. Many christians would rather remain in an un-loving relationship simply because it is 'the right thing to do'.

I think, if you havent dated, how can you know what you want?? Friendship isnt everything you know...

And despite what you said about christians thinking sex is a good thing, the church forbids it until marriage. This, i think, would cause someone to have more emotional problems regarding sex. If sex is regarded as taboo, this attitude is going to carry over into your marriage. Like it or not, you cant oppose sex for 20 or so years, and just suddenly jump into it healthily.

~ you can both learn with each other. there is no need for any pre judgements and the sex can be a journey into seeing what makes each other happy.

Sex is always a "journey into seeing what makes each other happy", married or not. Marriage doesnt change any of this.

~ ~ relationships that breakdown (i can speak from experience here especially!!!) hurt so much worse when sex is involved between the two people. another illustration... 2 pieces of bread, one with peanut butter on it. put the two pieces together and take them apart again... the other piece of bread has parts of the other... you can't have a relationship involving sex without giving a part of yourself to the other person. and when you break up, and most dating relationships do compared to marriages, it just hurts more and more. .

Oh c'mon, even in non-sexual relationships (yes, non-christians can have them) you still are just as vulnerable. As if a marriage break up wouldnt hurt more than a sexual relationship!


Btw. Its not like christians dont date

 

[irnie]

ok im not going to take either side here. my humble opinion is, that for a girl, sex means a whole lot more the first time because you are giving a part of yourself to the guy, something that you can't give anyone else. in a way, your first time is really special because you're offering something to the guy that you can't offer anyone else. like, you can always offer sex afterwards and it could be great, better than your first time or whatever but you can offer your virginity to someone only once.

guys (this is a bit of a generalisation so i apologise) think with their dicks. and its a hormonal fact, and also because society says that its acceptable for them to want sex all the time. so their first time, i've been told by some guy friends, is more of an achievement.

girls, on the other hand, (this is another generalisation and i apologise) are more inclined to tie phsical pleasures to emotion. thus, when a girl offers a guy her virginity, it's a huge deal.

one of my guy friends has said "it gets easier after the first time because it also means a lot less, its less emotionally baggaged".

and i guess that's why i think virginity is seen as a virtuous thing by some people. because those who hold on to it (unless they just can't get any) view it as something they can't give away twice. it gives you a permanent memory: your first time.

it's rubbish to presume that the first time is the best for everyone and if you have sex before marriage it must be with randoms who "shatter you".

religious beliefs aside, i think that virginity is virtuous to those who hold it, because of the emotional baggage of the first time.

 

[beccaxx]

aww this person is a legend. if i sed that every1 on bos would say it was cos i was a christian.
cos ur a newbi ur opinion prob wont seem to count 4 nethin, but it was a good post!

 

[Lennie]

ok im not going to take either side here. my humble opinion is, that for a girl, sex means a whole lot more the first time because you are giving a part of yourself to the guy, something that you can't give anyone else. in a way, your first time is really special because you're offering something to the guy that you can't offer anyone else. like, you can always offer sex afterwards and it could be great, better than your first time or whatever but you can offer your virginity to someone only once.

guys (this is a bit of a generalisation so i apologise) think with their dicks. and its a hormonal fact, and also because society says that its acceptable for them to want sex all the time. so their first time, i've been told by some guy friends, is more of an achievement.

girls, on the other hand, (this is another generalisation and i apologise) are more inclined to tie phsical pleasures to emotion. thus, when a girl offers a guy her virginity, it's a huge deal.

one of my guy friends has said "it gets easier after the first time because it also means a lot less, its less emotionally baggaged".

and i guess that's why i think virginity is seen as a virtuous thing by some people. because those who hold on to it (unless they just can't get any) view it as something they can't give away twice. it gives you a permanent memory: your first time.

it's rubbish to presume that the first time is the best for everyone and if you have sex before marriage it must be with randoms who "shatter you".

religious beliefs aside, i think that virginity is virtuous to those who hold it, because of the emotional baggage of the first time.

In my mind, you have just answered this whole thread.

 

[paper cup]

.. remember not to shout it from the roof tops..

it's not a big deal, everyone just makes it out to be.
it's really not anybody's business but your own.

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

<3 irnie's post, reppin newbie

 

[irnie]

it isn't a big deal after your first time i guess. and it is a private matter between two people. i was just talking about it with my frienda and she put the notion of first times very simply after i told her my theory:

guys= achievement

girls(who are precious about virginity)= commitment (generally speaking) and definitely emotional bond

but these are all just generalisations in my own humble opinion. they dont apply to everyone because in the end, it is a private matter between two people.

 

[thejosiekiller]

im glad u admitted it was a generalisation

 

[Atticus.]

i feel that i ended this thread in an msn convo with tulipa
no one is answering her question

 

[ariande]

ok im not going to take either side here. my humble opinion is, that for a girl, sex means a whole lot more the first time because you are giving a part of yourself to the guy, something that you can't give anyone else. in a way, your first time is really special because you're offering something to the guy that you can't offer anyone else. like, you can always offer sex afterwards and it could be great, better than your first time or whatever but you can offer your virginity to someone only once.

guys (this is a bit of a generalisation so i apologise) think with their dicks. and its a hormonal fact, and also because society says that its acceptable for them to want sex all the time. so their first time, i've been told by some guy friends, is more of an achievement.

girls, on the other hand, (this is another generalisation and i apologise) are more inclined to tie phsical pleasures to emotion. thus, when a girl offers a guy her virginity, it's a huge deal.

one of my guy friends has said "it gets easier after the first time because it also means a lot less, its less emotionally baggaged".

and i guess that's why i think virginity is seen as a virtuous thing by some people. because those who hold on to it (unless they just can't get any) view it as something they can't give away twice. it gives you a permanent memory: your first time.

it's rubbish to presume that the first time is the best for everyone and if you have sex before marriage it must be with randoms who "shatter you".

religious beliefs aside, i think that virginity is virtuous to those who hold it, because of the emotional baggage of the first time.

.... there are as many guys who think with their emotional intelligence as there are girls. remember that if we are talking about generalisations here, the guys would probably be 17 ish right? that is not old enough for the everage guy to have supressed all emotional attachment. they are still dependant on their parents and probably aren't the big dickheads that everyone thinks they are. the only reason they would say that they want to 'get some' from a random chick with no strings attached is because they have been conditioned by society and their peers to think that having sex is cool, and being a vigrin makes you a loser. also talking on generalisations, i would say with certainty that most guys lost their virginity to a girlfriend. if they have a GIRLFRIEND there is automatically emotional attachment there.

also, if girls and gyus are about the same age when they are losing their virginity - remember that guys do not mature as quickly as girls. OF COURSE thoughts of commitment and a lasting relationship is going to occur to a lot of girls (in most cases) rather than guys of the same age.

don't forget that girls are under the same pressure. although they may not be as visually competitive in terms of sex, they are still aware of the typical teenage ideology that is sex=good, virgin=bad. what about the girls who think with their nether regions??

 

[ariande]

Why is it such a pure and virtuous thing?

in terms of this question, it simply goes back to old fashioned beliefs about sex. when christianity became the most practiced religion, the ideology and values followed. christianity taught that sex was reserved for marriage only and anyone not following this was considered tainted. these beliefs still exist today, so despite contemporary views of sex, a lot of people will still hold that sex should be saved for the 'right person', being the person you marry. if someone consciously follows this, then obviously they are going to view being a virgin as a virtuous thing because having sex with someone they aren't married to, or even just having sex at a young age would be going against their beliefs and it probably would make them feel ashamed

 

[Atticus.]

ariande you are flogging a dead horse in this thread.

 

[ariande]

shmeh... i saw it and thought i would post it made me feel special at least

 

[TaEkWoNdObArBiE]

I'm happy that I'm a virgin because I think that your virginity is important, and I've spoken to people who have had sex for the first time when they have been drunk or high and regret doing it because it didn't mean anything.
I'm staying a virgin until I'm in some form of 'loving' relationship and I can trust the person I'm with etc.
I guess its not that its something to be 'proud of' but more something to be happy about.
I read in a book somewhere that your virginity is like a special gift and you can only give it to somebody once, and the person you give it to should be honoured.
But, yeah...I don't know, I'll probably get yelled at for this post.

 

[ariande]

I've spoken to people who have had sex for the first time when they have been drunk or high and regret doing it because it didn't mean anything.

that is a minority

 

[TaEkWoNdObArBiE]

that is a minority

Yeah...but that minority of people makes me want to wait until it means something. Also, I know its probably going to 'hurt' or something, and will probably in some aspect be embarassing. Thats another reason I want to wait for somebody I care about and trust.

 

[ariande]

i would say that most people DO wait for someone they care about and trust.