what are easy, guilt free ways to become friends with girls at Uni? (1 Viewer)

[MysteryGenius]

lol JUST TALK TO THEM!! =P
it's not really that hard in the end =]
i mean, it may be a bit awkward when you first start doing it (depending on how shy, etc you may be) but it gets easier the more you practice
and since you're intention is to only make friends, you wont need to worry about feeling guilty or whatever 'cause it's perfectly fine and innocent- everyone wants to make friends with the same and opposite sexes
it's natural
so relax and have fun!

 

[Chevalier]

Ok but how about if ur trying to catch people out? To me it just seems wrong to approach a girl who's by herself and just be like "Hey there how's it going? Whats ur name? What school to did u come from?" and initiate a conversation. Hence contact details are a no no until I've earnt their friendship. But in my mind that's just about as opportunistic and predatory as u can get; its almost like fishing, as I've cast my line and am waiting for the right moment. I would imagine that similar tactics are used by those who pick up chicks at bars or nightclubs. Hence that's where the sense of guilt comes from

But of course I could be wrong, so someone plz correct me

 

[Shadowdude]

Ok but how about if ur trying to catch people out? To me it just seems wrong to approach a girl who's by herself and just be like "Hey there how's it going? Whats ur name? What school to did u come from?" and initiate a conversation. Hence contact details are a no no until I've earnt their friendship. But in my mind that's just about as opportunistic and predatory as u can get; its almost like fishing, as I've cast my line and am waiting for the right moment. I would imagine that similar tactics are used by those who pick up chicks at bars or nightclubs. Hence that's where the sense of guilt comes from

But of course I could be wrong, so someone plz correct me

Don't just approach a girl and start talking right off the bat - that seems quite 'predatory' as you say. Just hang around for a while, sit in her vicinity and then wait five or ten minutes - and then it'll appear, and will be, that you are bored and want to talk. So make a witty comment like perhaps - "I envisioned O-Week to be 24/7 partying for me... but alas, my body can't keep up. I think I'm growing old..."

I don't know. You're smart, you can figure out something =P


Just don't talk right off the bat, that gives you your guilt. Sit with her or near her for about five minutes and naturally, the conversation will flow. Again, using my experience at UNSW Info Day - that is exactly how I got into a conversation with a girl.

We were watching the Jenga blocks and then... hey, presto! We started talking.

And if I can do it, you sure as hell can too.

 

[MysteryGenius]

ooohk, yeah i getchya
well i guess you could try to start a convo with someone waiting for the same lecture?... for example, during the first few days of uni i noticed many people approaching others with the question 'this is [class], right?' and then they usually make a joke about how confusing/new uni is and then continue to introduce themselves once the other person responds. although it was pretty clear that they already knew that they were at the right location, i guess this question (or one similar) would be an alright ice breaker =]
i guess it would be a good idea to start off that way since you wont be the only one doing it
i've noticed that at uni people usually start a conversation (with a complete stranger) by making a statement/comment on (or question) a lecture, venue, event or something in their surroundings. this is then followed by an introduction and THEN questions regarding the other persons name, previous school/s etc.
i hope that made sense at least lol

 

[Shadowdude]

ooohk, yeah i getchya
well i guess you could try to start a convo with someone waiting for the same lecture?... for example, during the first few days of uni i noticed many people approaching others with the question 'this is [class], right?' and then they usually make a joke about how confusing/new uni is and then continue to introduce themselves once the other person responds. although it was pretty clear that they already knew that they were at the right location, i guess this question (or one similar) would be an alright ice breaker =]
i guess it would be a good idea to start off that way since you wont be the only one doing it
i've noticed that at uni people usually start a conversation (with a complete stranger) by making a statement/comment on (or question) a lecture, venue, event or something in their surroundings. this is then followed by an introduction and THEN questions regarding the other persons name, previous school/s etc.
i hope that made sense at least lol

^ Dammit, there goes my great plan =(

 

[Mature Lamb]

I thought this would be another sinophile thread (no offence).

If they seem cold or give brief replies when you talk to them, maybe comment on that. If that doesn't break the ice.. she's not worth talking to

 

[Chevalier]

@Shadowdude I should say thanks for the reassurance, appreciate it. So seeing as I've never asked before, what course are u planning to do at University? Are u set on going to UNSW? And have u envisoned what ur future career is going to be like? Where do u see yourself 5-6 yrs down the track?

ooohk, yeah i getchya
well i guess you could try to start a convo with someone waiting for the same lecture?... for example, during the first few days of uni i noticed many people approaching others with the question 'this is [class], right?' and then they usually make a joke about how confusing/new uni is and then continue to introduce themselves once the other person responds. although it was pretty clear that they already knew that they were at the right location, i guess this question (or one similar) would be an alright ice breaker =]
i guess it would be a good idea to start off that way since you wont be the only one doing it
i've noticed that at uni people usually start a conversation (with a complete stranger) by making a statement/comment on (or question) a lecture, venue, event or something in their surroundings. this is then followed by an introduction and THEN questions regarding the other persons name, previous school/s etc.
i hope that made sense at least lol

so this is from past experience then is it? So ppl who get lost will ask random students whether they're in the right lecture hall or directions on how to get around then? Its that simple? Honestly I really think all this time I've been completely oblivious to the fact that I'm perfectly capable of befriending girls, I guess that's what going to a boys school does to some of us. The few girls that I know now and occassionally talk to actually went out of their way to get to know me. And for almost 5 yrs I've paid them little mind, almost ignoring them. To my mind I haven't really befriended any girls of my own accord. Funny thing that.

 

[Chevalier]

I thought this would be another sinophile thread (no offence).

If they seem cold or give brief replies when you talk to them, maybe comment on that. If that doesn't break the ice.. she's not worth talking to

lol, I've seen some of sinophile's threads, he's pretty forthcoming with his "preferences" I have to admit

 

[Shadowdude]

I thought this would be another sinophile thread (no offence).

If they seem cold or give brief replies when you talk to them, maybe comment on that. If that doesn't break the ice.. she's not worth talking to

I think the OP should know how to break-away if it does go awry. For me, a quick glance at my watch and a muttered comment of "Oh, I have to go now. See ya!"

 

[Shadowdude]

@Shadowdude I should say thanks for the reassurance, appreciate it. So seeing as I've never asked before, what course are u planning to do at University? Are u set on going to UNSW? And have u envisoned what ur future career is going to be like? Where do u see yourself 5-6 yrs down the track?



so this is from past experience then is it? So ppl who get lost will ask random students whether they're in the right lecture hall or directions on how to get around then? Its that simple? Honestly I really think all this time I've been completely oblivious to the fact that I'm perfectly capable of befriending girls, I guess that's what going to a boys school does to some of us. The few girls that I know now and occassionally talk to actually went out of their way to get to know me. And for almost 5 yrs I've paid them little mind, almost ignoring them. To my mind I haven't really befriended any girls of my own accord. Funny thing that.

Oh hai there Chevalier,

I'm dead set UNSW for doing B Sci (Adv Maths), with a high possibility of combining it with Commerce (though I don't know what to major in). My future career I hope will be... mathematical modelling for something. I see myself cold, tired, single and miserable six years from now - though... in my dreams, I'd be married and hosting a game show. =P

But hey, one can dream. What about you?


And see? You're perfectly capable of befriending girls. You're already there - but you just don't know it. =P

 

[Omie Jay]

you guys need to give it much more thought

 

[MysteryGenius]

so this is from past experience then is it? So ppl who get lost will ask random students whether they're in the right lecture hall or directions on how to get around then? Its that simple? Honestly I really think all this time I've been completely oblivious to the fact that I'm perfectly capable of befriending girls, I guess that's what going to a boys school does to some of us. The few girls that I know now and occassionally talk to actually went out of their way to get to know me. And for almost 5 yrs I've paid them little mind, almost ignoring them. To my mind I haven't really befriended any girls of my own accord. Funny thing that.

yeah pretty much lol that's how i met some of my uni friends =] you don't have to have some huge complicated plan to get a conversation going with a girl.. you just go up and start talking and hope that they're willing to continue that friendly convo with you..don't worry if it doesn't work, there's many people to practice on haha
but i'm sure you'll be ok =]
but maybe it would help if you started talking to your girl friends more often? just to get yourself used to the idea of talking to girls on a regular basis and such

 

[Chevalier]

@Shadowdude I'm thinking of doing Social Inquiry/Law at UTS which I hope will get me into a career as a civil servant either in politics, social advocacy or policy analysis or something like that. To be honest I'm not sure I only just glanced at the career options for my particular degree

and woops the part where I said "I'm capable of befriending girls" was me accidentally slipping out of my usual self deprecatory tone, of course I don't mean that literally. I havent had much success in the past

 

[Chevalier]

I might also add that I'm kinda deliberately keeping this discussion going just so this thread can get more replies :3 which would make it the most replied to thread I've ever posted ^^

 

[Shadowdude]

Ah I see. Well, we need our civil servants!

And that girl thing is a Freudian slip. You can do it - your subconscious knows you can, but your conscious brings you down. You haven't had much success in the past - so what? I haven't either. Just because the first half and 43 minutes of the second half of a football game are scoreless doesn't mean there won't be a goal.

There'll be plenty of girls at uni. I talked to one of the Yellowshirts and they said O-Week meant the place was packed. Many girls around. Lots to talk to.

 

[MysteryGenius]

There'll be plenty of girls at uni. I talked to one of the Yellowshirts and they said O-Week meant the place was packed. Many girls around. Lots to talk to.

and people generally don't remember all the people they talked to during O week. so you're safe if you screw up. or the girl may even think it's cute that you're a little nervous and may make an effort to get to know you better later on lol it happens. trust me.

 

[Chevalier]

and people generally don't remember all the people they talked to during O week. so you're safe if you screw up. or the girl may even think it's cute that you're a little nervous and may make an effort to get to know you better later on lol it happens. trust me.

I can't imagine how and why that would be the case. Do they accept people like me unconditionally when they go up to and talk to them in an attempt to befriend them? Sorry if I'm a little slow at comprehending all this :S

 

[Absolutezero]

I can't imagine how and why that would be the case. Do they accept people like me unconditionally when they go up to and talk to them in an attempt to befriend them? Sorry if I'm a little slow at comprehending all this :S

Most people will stop and chat for a bit if you start a conversation. I saw a guy at O-Week go around and talk to everyone he possibly could. Once he actually started uni, he had a great opening line to start conversations (Hey, didn't I talk with you in O-Week). Whether he did or didn't, he could use that line, and gained a group of friends really quickly.

 

[MysteryGenius]

I can't imagine how and why that would be the case. Do they accept people like me unconditionally when they go up to and talk to them in an attempt to befriend them? Sorry if I'm a little slow at comprehending all this :S

most people would be civil at least
and sure, how else are you going to make friends? =]
don't worry too much about what other people may think about your approach. if you're nice enough they'll forget about it and continue with the conversation

 

[cutemouse]

All the girls I've met at uni are because they talked to me first. I actually became good friends with one of them. I must be lucky.