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think of the stupidest thing stella8h8chang has ever done... (2 Viewers)

iambored

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unblock, don't take anything personally, look to the positives, keep posting here if you need support
 

ameh

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Well after throwing yourself at his feet, the dignified thing to do would be to either
a) send an abusive message to him asking why he didn't reply
b) mention you sent the earlier email or the ^ to the wrong email address
c) block him [that is if he hasn't got any useful notes etc. I'd block him]
 
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amoz_lilo said:
Well after throwing yourself at his feet, the dignified thing to do would be to either
a) send an abusive message to him asking why he didn't reply
b) mention you sent the earlier email or the ^ to the wrong email address
c) block him [that is if he hasn't got any useful notes etc. I'd block him]
OMFG you wouldn't believe this but........

He didn't read it...he's been too busy :D
 

ameh

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Block him anyway, if he's of no use to you.

Too busy is a sign of problems further down the road. ''Honey, I need to stay back at the office I'm *too busy* for my loving wife and kids.''

Perhaps I'm over-analysing this too much. Heh
 

bscienceboi

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The HSC is overrated, it isnt the end of the world. You do well in the first year of Uni and you can pretty much transfer to whatever course you like.

As with your brother getting a violin, who cares, its a violin. More importantly is why you resent your parents and own family at this moment. Your stressed and that is how everyone is during the HSC, just don't let it get to you. Suicide is definately not the answer. You obviously love your family, considering you held back knowing it was your father's Birthday, so why do this to yourself and to your family and friends. I wish I had a better guitar, I wish I had guitar lessons and there are things that I want but at this time in my life these objects are insignificant. I would rather donate my guitar for some street kid whose never been to school or never had the oppurtunity to have a genuine chance in living life and finding contentment.

Sometimes you can easily misinterpret situations. If your friends don't call back maybe they are busy studying for the HSC too or maybe they are just tight and wont fork out the necessary money to call overseas. Your 17/18/19/20 years old, thats young and theres PLENTY of good times to come in the future. You can't judge your life by saying one period will determine how you end up later on. We all have our ups and downs.

Your also reding too deeply into situations, so your fisk tank leaked. Why is that a major turn in your life? You dislike the fact that your fish have dissapeared or died but thats showing how you value life itself.

As with your situation with your crush, when HSC finishes and you take your next step into University/Tafe or whereever everything around changes. Change is inevitable, positive or negative. You can change or life will change you. So you have this crush ever since the beggining of high school. You may well learn that it could be just a factuation, everybody needs hope, some find it in religion others find it in the people they love or want to love. You may well like this guy for the fact that you use him in a way to calm your fears or hide away from your stress. Everybody has a crush in high school, psychologically these are the people we see everyday of our lives and the more we see someone the more attached we become, we reinforce our own feelings but in the end we may well be making the wrong decision in our life.

What i'm trying to say is, whether he likes you or not, its not the end of the world. There are many people out there feeling the same way. I went through highschool with a crush but now i've matured and i'm just laughing at all the antics that I endured through those years. If things don't go well, tell your friend you were stressed and i'm sure he'll understand your situation and try to comfort you. If not then you'll realise that he may well be wrong for you afterall. Either way there is hope.
 

transcendent

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you're a good kid, keep your chin up. don't stew on the things that happened, they are done, give yourself time to worry about it then get over it and look at it rationally and figure out a way to deal with it. use your senses, your experiences and come up with an approach to your situation. things will get better, some things are ment to let go of and if they are gone, mourn it's loss and get over it. move on.

good luck. :)
 

...

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Prefect means jackshit...

if you get into uni, be active in clubs. Its a lot more useful on the CV.
 

Baiku

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Suicide is weak and slitting your wrists is hardly appropriate, that said you were never going to do it anyway, which will hopefully be for the best...that's up to you of course.

Nobody is going to be able to get your life back on track for you, other than you.

(As a side note, blocking someone because they blocked you, on msn or communication in general is the most fucking retarded concept I have ever come across, it really achieves nothing)

Why don't you just take a couple of days for yourself, go to a park, listen to the music you like, or play the violin, do your maths, whatever it is that you actually like doing, just somewhere to start. You need to rethink your priorities, what matters to you at this stage in your life, etc.

That doesn't mean that you say "Fuck mum and dad for not buying me a violin case" - because your parents have to be somewhere in your life-priorities too. Obviously as a teenager there's a lot happening, you sound like somebody who "does" a lot.

HSC next year, key word - balance. Exactly the opposite of what I have done this year, but in any case, get your life together, work out where your priorities lie and you'll find the unexpected less stressful, you'll be better able to deal with things that right now throw you off completely.
 

FreakTrigger

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Don't worry man, I'm sure it will all sort itself out.

I still don't give a shit though.

Grow up.
 

0o0

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seriously girl, GROW UP. you've gotten some lovely support messages in here so now its time for a reality check. your life sounds wonderful, lets take a look, you're fish tanks leaking? your POND is empty? you can't play the piano and a violin? and some other shit about GARDEN BIRDS? you sound like you live in some castle, what next? you're gonna slit ur wrists because one of your ferraris broke down and you have to drive a bentley instead?

look i understand everyone fucks up in life every now and then but if you are so stupid to want to end it because of what appears to be rather trivial problems, you need a nice kick to the throat. i hate people who want to kill themselves when they're lives seem to be so blessed when compared to the whole. ive been to countries where disabled starving kids can still crack a smile and enjoy every second of life or at least try to, yet spoilt dumbasses round here seem to think that their brother getting a violin upgrade equates to cutting wrists.

you are a lucky person, the only thing i feel sorry for you is the loss of your grandfather (but from your post, it appears you were more upset about not being able to attend 'festivals'.)

and as for this guy, unless his name is conan o brien, he aint worth dying for.
 

Lhyviathan

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stella8h8chang said:
...and multiply it by itself a thousand times. And this is even worse...

Last night (or should I say, this morning) I had a major meltdown. A lot of things triggered it...the short list goes...
My grandfather died...in addition to this (or as a result?) I had to fly back to Malaysia immediately to spend 2 rotten weeks in a rottener house with the rottenest people - missing out on the endofterm festivities, my brother got food poisoning and we had to look after him, I didn't get prefect, I screwed up Ext Eng big time (78) and so my average this year has gone kaput, my fishtank is leaking, one of the ponds looks empty (our garden's birds have a lot to answer to), I'm not allowed to play the piano, mum fully hates my singing...just when I thought I'd "discovered" that I could sing when Mrs T gave me a vocal solo...everytime I open my mouth she tells me to shut up, I'm grounded for the rest of the holidays, my violin is locked in at school, my parametrics were disintegrating because I'd missed the whole last week of school, my brother just got a new $465 violin case just by asking and is on his way to getting some Obligato strings which cost upwards of a hundred bucks a set when I can't get the bow upgrade even when my teacher said I need one because my bow is "el cheapo" and I'm the more advanced player even if I have poorer technique because the parents took away my lessons...and to add to that, I rang all my friends when I came back from Malaysia, and nobody picked up their phones, and when I left messages for them only one person rang back. It was as if when they saw me on caller ID they decided not to answer. And I genuinely needed help, because I've missed so much school, and my brains have rotted.

Anyhow. So I basically collapsed emotionally last night and made up my mind to go get a kitchen knife and slit my wrists. So at 2am I got out of bed and began writing my farewell emails. And for some stupid reason I wrote a 2500 word email to (get this straight) my closest guy friend whom I've known for seven years describing my dismal situation, what I was about to do, and how I loved him and I was always going to love him no matter what happened. See, since I thought I wasn't going to wake up tomorrow, this stupid crush had been boiling away for sometime, and I hadn't said anything because I was afraid of spoiling the friendship, so I thought, reveal everything now and nobody will be hurt. And just because I'm as studious as he is, I added a line at the top "don't read this unless you've finished all your HSC stuff".

Guess what? Mum came downstairs because she heard the racket. So my grand plan didn't work (do they ever?). But I also realised it was my dad's birthday, and it would be a bit...slack...if I actually went through with everything, so I grabbed a cup of hot milk, toddled off to my room, engraved a heart above the lightningbolt and pretended I was just hungry.

So everyone, what is the moral of this story?

I was hoping you could tell me that...

Please also reply if you want to:
a) give me some advice on how I can rectify the problem that my best guy friend as now blocked me and the friendship is even more ruined than I could have possibly foreseen
b) pat me on the head and say, you "poor little emotionally retarded naiive girl..."
c) bask in your intelligence/commonsense/social aptitude and yell at me for my lack thereof
d) laugh and keep laughing until Christmas

- a very, very, very miserable stella8h8chang

Get a sand-bag. (That big thing boxers pound away at.)

Take out all of your anger and frustration on that.

Well, at least one thing is cleared up... that crush should well and truly fizzle now. If he ran away, rather than supported you when you were on the brink... well... then he's hardly worth pining over, is he?

The foolhardiness caused by your suicidal haze may cause quite a few negative changes in the short term... but overall, it may cause a few things to start looking up.
 
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hipPo3

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suiciders are quiters ..
dont suicide because u dont like whats happening in ur life atm
suicide cause u quit .. quit on the world .. *game over*

yr 12's have all graduated now, so thier either
a) studying and too busi to talk
b) out enjoying freedom in the world and couldnt give a shit about the HSC

ur firends are either A and/or B.
that being said, there was no reason to think that they might just not want to talk to u .. and they wouldnt have a reason too either (unless u did something to dissapiont them).. its not like they spread rumors that u eat souls or something

whichever the case .. ur just looking everything in a negative perspective
why dont u think about what ur going to do after the HSC ??? thats always a pleasent thought :D
 

belly_moo

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Oh my; self-inflicted pain won't help -it's not worth it, seriously :)

Your life might be pretty shit at the moment but it's an indication that THINGS WILL GET BETTER [= This is the peak of your low times, your high times are looming nearer don't you worry ;)

You're still in year 11 so you shouldn't worry too much about marks and all. And even if you don't do as well as you would have wanted to you know you tried your best & that's all that mattered. There's so much more out there than just school.. But hey, my dad died three months before my trials & I somehow managed to still study & keep on my head screwed to my neck. Cheer up, take some time out, go out, have fun with friends and relax a bit before you hit the books.

Hope you're feeling better by now though. Take care (=
 

jellybeenz

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Aw girl, you really are a bit of a sadcase...

Don't listen to everyone who dismisses your problems because they aren't that bad in the scheme of things (although its true), it doesn't mean the feelings aren't real to you.

But girl, you've gotta grow up, you are VERY emotionally immature for your age, I mean most people get over the self-centred grand gesture suicide attempts at about age 14... but your what 17 now? You are a very smart girl and I think this has something to do with why you feel things so deeply, but you are also quite introspective and I guess we can't really blame you for it because you don't really have anyone to turn to. Its all well and good for people to say you are just another rich brat (which you are) but you do have problems that stem entirely from your parents and your lack of ability to form solid personal relationships (not romantic but pure friendship).

My advice? Get out of your own head, stop living fantasies and dwelling upon absolutely everything. How to do this? Get a life, sounds harsh but your 17 its time you made a few friends or worked on current relationships with guy friend and others. The reason you are emotionally immature is because you are not living, I don't know if this is self-inflicted due to study or its your parents sheltering you. Just talk to guy friend, ask him to the movies (without romantic entanglements) and go watch the stupidest movie you can find, eat lots of popcorn then some Maccas-- talk about how you feel. Talk about the future, talk about life, talk about school, talk about friends, talk about the weather, talk about tv, the movie-- make fun of the dude picking his nose about four seats away. Hang out with a friend. You don't need a lot of friends, just a couple of good ones to spend days liek that with. Best therapy in the world.
 

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