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Stupid exam answers. (1 Viewer)

lyounamu

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mollycoddle said:
I heard about a simile someone used in their English creative writing once:

"She was as tall as a 5'4" tree."
Good one, mate!!!
 

x.Exhaust.x

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Sarah182 said:
One of the questions in our science paper last year was "Name an Australian Scientist who has made a significant contribution to science research in the past 10 years?" or something
And nearly everyone in our year wrote our teacher, it was funny at the time we all thought we were funny in the exam but we didnt get marks..
Wow we had the exact same question in our yearly. Many put Ms Kuksal, she's famous in this streamwatch program at our school. I don't know if they got it right lol.
 

foram

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"What is the name of this type (pictured right) of peripheral port which usually has a mouse or keyboard plugged into it in a late model PC"


Is that USB or PS/2?
 

foram

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"Metaphors found in NSW Year 12 HSC English responses"
Enjoy :D

1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.

3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

5. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

8. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

16. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.

17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

20. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

23. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
 

lyounamu

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foram said:
3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

16. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.

17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

20. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

23. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
WTH??? They are pathetically hillarious!!! I laughed so hard.
 

Aerath

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22 was the best. Now, Foram - do you think that you'll do OK in English now? :)
 

selablad

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foram said:
16. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.
And I always thought exam marking would be a boring job...:D
 
Last edited:

nerdsforever

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The front of the exam always says: 'Do not place anything that is frivolous, irrelevant or offensive in this exam. Extra marks may be deducted' :(
 

x.Exhaust.x

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nerdsforever said:
The front of the exam always says: 'Do not place anything that is frivolous, irrelevant or offensive in this exam. Extra marks may be deducted' :(
It never says that in my exams :).

And your signature 'I'm the most retarded geek in the world' sounds a bit harsh to yourself...
 

lyounamu

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foram said:
"Metaphors found in NSW Year 12 HSC English responses"
Enjoy :D

1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.

3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

5. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

8. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

16. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.

17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

20. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

23. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
OMG. I read them again and they are so funny.
 

lyounamu

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Aerath said:
Yeah, that truly shows how stupid people can get under the pressure of HSC exam.

"She was as easy as TV Guide crossword" is absolutely golden!!! Hahahahahahaha...
 

blackglitter

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foram said:
"Metaphors found in NSW Year 12 HSC English responses"
Enjoy :D

1. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

2. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature prime English beef.

3. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

4. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

5. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

7. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

8. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

9. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot oil.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

16. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.

17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

20. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

21. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

22. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

23. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
ROFL! classics
 

lyounamu

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blackglitter said:
ROFL! classics

18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant

This is visually entertaining.
 

Doctor Jolly

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haha. These things always come circling around the sites when the HSC approaches.
 

Aplus

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lyounamu said:
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant

This is visually entertaining.
It's so sophisticated and stylish... until you reach the end...
 

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