Shortlisted for Young Writers Showcase (3 Viewers)

[black_man]

wow, was that the student that changed to a performance poetry piece using economics research or something? i seem to recall someone inquiring about a subject like that

 

[666_blessings]

My friend hahahhaa got hahahahah shortlisted lol with his performance poetry rofl that he wrote in HAHAHAH 2 EFFING DAYS. *falls down cracking up ni laughter*

Further proof that the markers are very good judges of quality work. His reflection would have been interesting.

 

[phatchance]

Yeah

This student is me, I got shortlisted; it took my subversion of the entire Extension II project to a whole new level. I actually considered putting a feature like this into the body of my prior work, now James left out a few details there for instance I changed to Performance poetry and I've been writing/performing lyrics for 6 years and I'm a signed artist on an independent label so I do have a lot of experience in creating/structuring/recording that kind of work. I also chose a topic I knew a lot about and had already researched independently so I wasn't starting from scratch, and it was 2 weeks not 2 days, but aside from that this story is true , if I can just find my Major works lyrics and reflection statement I'll post them up.

Here is my reflection statement;

[REFLECTION]

My Major work The Global Playground has witnessed an almost complete reformation since its conception at the beginning of the year, shifting both medium and content throughout the progress of the course and my independent research. The work in its final form is a poetry performance based commentary on Western political ideologies and policies, with a particular focus upon the international impact of the media, and the role it plays in subverting the values of capitalist democracy and implementing and expanding Globalisation, Americanisation & social change. The works progression from a video medium subversion to a poetic commentary has been driven by the concepts broached throughout the Area of Study, and the Telling the Truth module of the English Advanced course, as well as the developments of my personal passions and understanding through the progress of my independent research.

The Global Playground’s intention is to raise awareness in the responder as to the Medias reach, influence and role within society, the eventual choice of performance poetry as a medium was driven by both my personal interest in hip-hop subculture and poetry as an art form, and the potential appeal and accessibility of the work to a wide audience. The technical integration of the popular hip-hop medium with the specific themes of the piece, through the use of techniques such as instrumental beats and double-entendres e.g.,

“We ‘prey’ upon religion because the truth hurts ‘prophets’”

served to broaden the appeal and accessibility of the work and assist in broaching a wider audience, and given the universality of the themes within the piece, the intent was to
create a composition accessible to as many people as possible.

The evolution of The Global Playground draws its inspiration from many of the elements and modules of the preliminary and HSC English Courses, but specifically the piece owes its transformation from video to performance poetry, and subversion to commentary to the Area of Study and Telling the Truth module of the HSC advanced course, Telling the Truth can be seen as the catalyst which sparked the transformation of the work from a subversive visual piece to a serious poetic commentary, the themes present in the Telling the Truth module have become a staple of the final Major Work and inspired the anti-media driven attitudes of the performance. The module demonstrated the negative impact the media often wields upon individuals and society and this inspired me to explore and challenge the orthodox Medias dominant international presence. During my Telling the Truth studies, I came across an article by Katherine Ainger called Empires of the Senseless, this article highlighted the impact of the media on the process of globalisation, as well as the monopolization of Media influence by a small number of politically opinionated individuals. This discovery sparked an interest in critiquing the Medias role in international relations; further research drew me towards a number of likeminded articles such as The Crusaders by John Pilger & also the works of politically active hip-hop artists such as Immortal Technique & Dead Prez. This research formed the basis of the changes that transformed the major works themes and medium. My research into the work of politically driven hip-hop artists such as Immortal Technique encouraged the technical transformation of the Major Work to performance poetry. Immortal Techniques song The 4th Branch is an effective depiction of the role the media plays in US politics, I appropriated this concept and utilised it as the basis upon which to create the presented Major Work, in a similar fashion to Immortal Technique I sought to utilise different directions in cadence, rhyme scheme and vocal tone to express the different intents of sections of the work, this is evident in the change in performance from the second section of the poem to the third, where not only the instrumental shifts, but also the technical structure and delivery of the content.

Further research into the themes of the Major Work contributed to the eventual content of the piece, as well as establishing the imagery and symbolism utilised throughout the poetry. The AOS module served as the inspiration behind the direction and form of the piece; my analysis of the hip-hop artist Atmosphere’s Always Coming Back Home to you demonstrated the effectiveness of the journey in conveying meaning through poetry, Always Coming Back Home to you also served to illustrate the effectiveness of symbolism when coupled with the journey in conveying meaning and challenging an audience. This inspired me to weave the over-arching concept of the journey into my piece, as is evident through both the musical progression of the Work, and the deliberately conclusive ending. The antonymous relationship in the imagery between the first and last section of poetry, such as “alive” and “die”, coupled with references to completion, “come full circle”, is intended to convey a sense of conclusion within the poetry to the responder, and combined with the positive connotations of the last stanza seeks to leave a positive sense of achievement from the poetic journey.

The technical research into production I performed in film medium prior to converting the work to performance poetry, assisted in the eventual production of the Major Work. My research into audio visual production techniques, through the use of programs such as Cubase SX 2.0 and Sony Vegas Production Suite assisted in the eventual construction of the audio recording used to submit the Major Work, especially in terms of recording, mixing and processing the audio signal for submission. The internet and sites such as http://www.dmusic.com proved useful in terms of technical research, providing tutorials which taught me the process of recording. For the most part however, the real developments in the work were thematic or structural, rather than technical, and the impact of technical developments in the Major Work, particularly after switching to performance poetry, were minor.

Much of the development of the submitted major work came through the textual integration of research into areas such as globalisation and US politics, with the performance poetry medium. I utilised a variety of textual, poetic and structural techniques in order to convey the thematic issues broached within the work to the audience. Rather than simply using a literal commentary in rhyming couplets, I chose to integrate the use of symbolism and imagery to convey meaning in a more entertaining fashion. My choice to depict the protagonists of the piece (the US government, the Australian government and the wider consumers and individuals) as children on an allegorical landscape, and the media as a pedophile looking to exploit them was utilised in an effort to personally confront the values of the responder in a non-abrasive way. Whilst the relationship between the children and pedophile is confrontational, the unrealistic nature of the geographical setting distances the confrontation of the subject matter, particularly when coupled with the use of suggestive rather than blatant imagery. This idea came about through my research of the performance poetry medium, artists such as Immortal Technique & Atmosphere often use children as a metaphor for innocence, whilst the protagonists of the piece are far from technically innocent, it is their lack of understanding that allows them to face exploitation and thus this is a purity of sorts. I also utilise other symbolisms to convey and extend the meaning of the piece, the use of music and dance convey the concept of freedom, however at the outset of the poetic journey we find that this freedom is perceived rather than literal, as I sought to demonstrate through the controls of the media to whom the music is a “part of his fingers”, I also utilised this imagery to convey the concept that freedom is strength, and to suggest that the media controls many facets of life through a political puppetry.

All of this symbolism and imagery I sought to combine with the technical forms and features of performance poetry, particularly contemporary underground hip-hop. The use of symbolism is combined with orthodox and traditional poetic techniques such as double or triple rhyming patterns, alliteration, cadence, double entendre and tone to effectively communicate to the audience my intentions. Multiple rhyming patterns such as

“Advocate racial hate and a loss of culture;
Vultures, building nests from the breasts of forgotten soldiers;”

seek to maintain audience interest in the content of the work, whilst effectively conveying the original intent and meaning.

The process of composing my Extension II Major Work has been both rewarding and enriching, I feel that through the composition of my Major Work, and particularly through the developments in its form and themes, I have learnt a great deal about modern society, and progressed in terms of my abilities to perceive and question the world around me. Whilst the Major Work has not been without its difficulties, such as my struggle to determine exactly which course of development I wished to take, it has been an experience that has taught me a lot and developed my interests and talents throughout the course.

[END REFLECTION]

please forgive the sloppy writing, usually I'm pretty eloquent but unfortunately this was the culmination of two weeks without any sleep and was finished the night before the actual work was due.

Here is the transcript of the major work itself, unfortunately the lyrics don't really do it justice but an electronic copy is pretty large due to the run time.

[MAJOR WORK]

The Global Playground

Now the things you’re about to be told
Take place in a world far beyond reality
Where the dark eyes lie below
Our beliefs in the things we can hold
And in this place that’s free of industry
We can attempt to see our own misery
The material of lies we find as fabric
Used as glue to construe this magic

The earth shakes and is replaced by a landscape
Where swing sets meet arms deals through handshakes
And there stand people that represent our evils
In a place that may have been man made

The sky itself is dotted in facts
A frame work of steel and forgotten attacks
And below stands a man with;
Three children in a sand pit;
And we ponder at that

We question his values (who is he)
When we don’t apply the same things to life
We find excuses (too busy)
And don’t realise that we made him alive

We see truth through these children
And that should give us hope;
And in life we may pretend to listen
But really it’s all for show

So the sun sets a light of allegory
And young yet I begin my story
And what you’re about to be told
Takes place in silence, believe me

[BEAT CHANGE]

So there’s these people right just sitting around;
There a bully a wimp a sickly kid on the ground
And this odd group all had something to say;
And a little man watched with a view of their way
So as the music plays; the three start to move
The largest of the group becoming partial to the groove
The first of these a bully joins the symphony
And as we swing the beat he speaks of liberty

I’m the American government personified;
Talk is cheap so I seek to provide through lies
Advocate racial hate and a loss of culture;
Vultures, building nests from the breasts of forgotten soldiers;
That we toppled over; in a quest for greener pastures;
And we’ll lose half the truth but what’s even harder
A sacrifice, a lack of life, within a chalice;
With a fox in the bush claiming that he’s fair and balanced
Economically we’re lying in our bed made
Strangling ourselves with a noose full of red tape
Fundamentalists but we prefer purists
Committing sins with the guise that god made us do it
And the proof that we’re our own biggest nemesis
We indirectly labeled our own Jesus a terrorist
Put on a global face with hate lines furrowing;
A colonial race won’t waste time worrying

These people right; they’re all interacting
And there’s an equal effect for every one of their actions
The impact the bully; enacts on them truly
Properly sets policy as part of a passion
And the music continues; the tune of their sinews
Rises and falls like the moves of fashion
Steps up the wimpy kid with the sniveling nose
He’s got something to say, and so this is how it goes

I’m the Australian government personified
Talk is cheap and it’s easier to accept the lies
We privatize health for; 9 to 5 helpers
To assist the ideology to privatize Telstra
We give with one hand, just to take with the other
And that’s why indirect taxes pay savings to mothers
The aim of a governor to erect an effigy
Cause a vote for a liar was a vote for G.S.T
And that’s me; I’m the guy taxing your property
Cause who needs ethics when you carry the majority?
A pawn on the chess board “playing with death”
That’s why G8 failed to erase third world debt
A marionette our ocean’s a pasture
Our land just a farm for our colonial masters
A toy soldier; a plastic miniature
Signing off on Aussie policy with George Bushes signature

These people right they begin to find the rhythm
The man watching them just continues to listen
The wimp now fully done like the bully
Completes and rejoins the rest of the children
The movements that they’re making attract attention
And the sickly kid from before matches their presence
He steps up, looking overly cautious
And begins to move with the tune and the performance

I’m the global public but personified
Talk is cheap so I seek to buy their lies
I’m just hoping to breath; being our masses;
Cause big business breathes out green house gasses
Consumers part of a global economy
Where private learning offers us a social lobotomy
And the future is our children so the outcome is morbid
Cause we’ve filled unlimited wants with limited resources
If I look sick it’s ‘cause fears a disease
Caught when you believe what you hear on T.V.
We’re spiritually dead; a commercial heritage
Pacified by the lies that we’re fed as a sedatives
And our liberties, rights and if we live happily
Depend on where we happen to reside geographically
An illustration of the problems in democracy;
When government policies only reflect the minority

These people right, they’re all moving around
And the strings on their limbs become a tune in the sound
And in the shadows stands a man with the hardness of interest
And the strings that he plucks are a part of his fingers
He’s a predator, preying on these children;
And the worst of it is that they’re paying him to listen
Erasing a tradition that’s how he plays
Corrupting the truth and controlling their fate
The children dance within their innocence
None aware that his intentions are sinister
As the heart of the group starts to move away
He’s the reason that their moves are made… and so the music fades

[BEAT TRANSITION – UP TEMPO]

Now it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of speech,
And it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of press
But what happens when those freedoms you preach
Are exactly the freedoms that leave you oppressed?

Now it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of speech
And it’s a liberty, to have a freedom of press
But what happens, when those freedoms you preach
Are exactly the freedoms that leave you oppressed?

Now here’s the truth but I’d advise you not listen;
Reciting what we believe despite the contradictions
To fight our opposition we cheat and lie equally
We bleed and die equally but lead our lives more easily
Corrupting your children our innocent drones;
And would you let a set of pedophiles into your homes?
(You wouldn’t); we cause much of the damage;
(You couldn’t); even with corruptible standards
The wonder of language; is that it’s often uncertain
And we can hide the truth well behind a popular curtain
The loss of a burden forgetting its happening
Commodify reality and sell it in a packaging

Here’s the truth; and why you have to cop it
Cause the people who could stop it are busy making a profit;
And our lies defy logic and why we might often
‘Prey’ on religion is ‘cause the “truth” hurts ‘prophets’
We hate the Quran but haven’t read it for truth
Cause we removed half the story in the editing room
And what we have left, is just something to please us
A binding of lies that doesn’t even mention Jesus
And what we hate most; are those who take note
And refuse to aim the hatred we made at scapegoats
We parade in plain clothes; forget that we wrote it
If it was one of our friends who planted the explosives

Now it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of speech,
And it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of press
But what happens when those freedoms you preach
Are exactly the freedoms that leave you oppressed?

Now it’s a liberty; to have a freedom of speech
And it’s a liberty, to have a freedom of press
But what happens, when those freedoms you preach
Are exactly the freedoms that leave you oppressed?

[BEAT CHANGES TO ORIGINAL]

Now the things that you’ve just been told
Took place in a world with a freedom of violence
And while it might bring less gold
It’s still proof that we don’t need to keep silent
And in that place; we learnt it’s our choosing;
That grants others the powers of music;
And if they lose it, and we keep our innocence
They can’t gain bliss from out of ignorance;

The earth shakes a landscape replaced;
Gone in seven days now the handshake fades
And the children now free dance for themselves
Come a full circle so their hands are held

The sky itself now a cloth of black
Faded night what we forgot we got back
And below stands a man who;
Wonders where his strength blew
He sees freedom and wonders “what’s that?”

We question his values (who was he?)
And now we know to do the same things to life
We lose our excuses (freedom)
And we realise that we made him die

We saw truth in the eyes of these children;
And the truth was that that gave us hope;
And now we’ve gained the power listen
And these things are no longer for show

So the sun sets a light on dying allegory
And grown now I conclude my story
And what you now know
Will never be silent… don’t believe me? Find out for yourself!

[END MAJOR WORK]

 

[mizza]

When did all of those shortlisted receive the letter to tell them the fantastic news of possible publication?

 

[kido_1]

Wow, how advanced and interesting. No wonder you got short listed for publication!

 

[meeli]

Wow, phatchance - that was totally cool.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

This student is me, I got shortlisted; it took my subversion of the entire Extension II project to a whole new level. I actually considered putting a feature like this into the body of my prior work, now James left out a few details there for instance I changed to Performance poetry and I've been writing/performing lyrics for 6 years and I'm a signed artist on an independent label so I do have a lot of experience in creating/structuring/recording that kind of work. I also chose a topic I knew a lot about and had already researched independently so I wasn't starting from scratch, and it was 2 weeks not 2 days, but aside from that this story is true ,

My man Chance, why did you say that? =( I was building you into a legend!!! It's all about fabricating the truth!! SENSATIONALISATION!! You NOOB!

 

[paper cup]

the letters get sent out to each student personally? when?
NB very few kids do performance poetry
probably why
no no I'm just jealous. congrats to all of you

 

[broken_jukebox]

Hey V, thanks for the 'name' bit...hehe, it serves its purpose. However, if I hear 'that's a very grand name' one more time, there'll be trouble at the old mill.



Most of my 'poetry and filmscripts don't score as well' is based on wild speculation which is, in turn, based on teacher information. The trend of high marks is, I believe, somewhat geared towards the short story/critical response/blending of the two (they looooove that). That doesn't mean that poems or film scripts or radio plays can't score well - I got the feeling that it's more difficult to achieve within those media. But I could very well be wrong. Oh yeah superkatie, is your last name Steinweg? Just checking...

NO ITS KATE BOWIE - hello!!!! buy the shocase of 04 and support hsc

 

[broken_jukebox]

Board of Studies (Official) Showcase 2005 - who got in?

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Hey I was wondering, out of those of you - who did English Extension 2 in 2005 (not 2004) - how many of yous were actually shortlisted for Showcase???

And does shortlisted mean you get in?

2500 candidates

about 28 get chosen into the book and dvd/cdrom

that is just around 1% who get in. Get it.


IF YOU DID -great

Post your name, medium and title of work!

 

[minushuman]

Eh, I think the Showcase is bullshit. They should rename it as follows -
"Cliched Post-Modernism: A Showcase of Young Writers who change font-size and typeface, as well as those who use onomatopoeia and just generally make grabs at easy marks under the guise of 'originality' through the exploration of death/religion/greek-myth/war".

I think it would be truly insulting to recieve such an offer as it's a clear indicator that your work is utterly conformist in it's strive to be non-conformist.

 

[rosepetal25]

Eh, I think the Showcase is bullshit. They should rename it as follows -
"Cliched Post-Modernism: A Showcase of Young Writers who change font-size and typeface, as well as those who use onomatopoeia and just generally make grabs at easy marks under the guise of 'originality' through the exploration of death/religion/greek-myth/war".

I think it would be truly insulting to recieve such an offer as it's a clear indicator that your work is utterly conformist in it's strive to be non-conformist.

bullshit...you sound like a jealous dickhead. the thing we are striving for is a uai that will get us into our uni courses, nothing more nothing less and deep down inside we all know and acknowledge that.

 

[minushuman]

If your intention while writing your major work was to achieve a high UAI and be accepted into the Young Writers Showcase then I seriously think that to be a very fucked up approach to 4unit english.

 

[rosepetal25]

If your intention while writing your major work was to achieve a high UAI and be accepted into the Young Writers Showcase then I seriously think that to be a very fucked up approach to 4unit english.

well i am sorry mr 'i am searching for deeper meaning in a BOARD developed course' that i did not experience the enlightenment and inner peace which you display. maybe you are the one who is fucked up...why the hell would u do the damn hsc if not to receive a high UAI?

 

[minushuman]

Because I don't need a high UAI to make me feel adequate about my own genius. Truly must suck to be someone who values their UAI as much as you do.

I'm not saying there is a deeper meaning in the course, i'm saying the course structure, syllabus and marking history should not have such a large impact on your work that it becomes the only thing you are striving to satisfy.

 

[666_blessings]

Because I don't need a high UAI to make me feel adequate about my own genius.

While you keep making comments like that, I'd say your ego is in no need of further inflation at all.

 

[rosepetal25]

Because I don't need a high UAI to make me feel adequate about my own genius.

righht ok...funny thing is you dont sound like a genius...i'd classify you as something along the lines of arrogant prick.

 

[nick1048]

*wishes the rep feature was here, REPS YOU*

 

[rosepetal25]

whoo hoo imaginary rep.

 

[kami]

The Showcase is a collection of works that the Board of Studies feel is representative of an ideal candidate - nothing more and nothing less. It is an honour to be accepted and so it should be; would it not please any of you that someone valued your work for whatever reason? However we shouldn't think any less of ourselves and our works for not making it into the Showcase collection as it is merely the Board's opinion and no composition is universally valued, we all know that everyone's tastes are different and that we aren't accountable for that.

We should also be aware that marks and UAI contribution are not the sole defining factor in the HSC, for as mentioned there are a myriad of tastes and not all will suit the Board of Studies marker who will examine our work, and not every student does the HSC for the sake of UAI either - the HSC leads to many other places too. Furthermore there should not be a disparagement of works that are granted entry to Showcase for the sole reason that you feel a distaste for the Showcase concept; that is a childish bias and we can all be better than that.

Finally, for the sake of the moderators who work very hard for this forum, I ask that this sort of argument please end here.