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Sharpest/most witty person in Australian Politics. (1 Viewer)

Iron

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Shoubadoo said:
Jason Wood, by far.

"Genetically modified orgasms- orgasms"
Witty "implicimplicatoins"
That was a sad day for democracy
The bloke couldnt even flurking read
 

Riet

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I don't know how true it is, but apparently once a nationals guy said: "I have always been a country member" to which one of the labor pollies immediately replied "I remember."
 

wikiwiki

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Paul Keating was an absolute classic, google for his awesome quotes.

Menzies had a very good wit.

I really enjoyed George Reid's quotations.

Best book for this thread is MacCallum's Political Anecdotes. Had me lolling so hard.

Some crackers:

****
Female Interjector: If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee.

George Reid: If I were your husband, i'd drink it.
****

Reid was fat, and was Premier of NSW in late 1890's. At a meeting right after he became PM, someone through a bag of flour at him and it went right around his waistcoat. Reid, thinking quickly, told the croud 'When I was elected to lead a government in this State, people could not afford flour with which to make bread. Now they can afford to throw it away, all over me'.

****

Paul Keating Quotes;

On Former Labour politician, Jim McClelland (over the phone): [SIZE=-1]"That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a f***ing dictionary when you were about 15 doesn't give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us." [/SIZE]

He is the greatest job and investment destroyer since the bubonic plague.
- On John Howard

I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot…
- On John Howard

I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead.
- On John Hewson


I suppose that the Honourable Gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness.
- On Andrew Peacock


..the brain-damaged Honorable Member for Bruce made his first parliamentary contribution since being elected, by calling a quorum to silence me for three minutes.”
- On Ken Aldred

You had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star…with a big cheque…and now you’re on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that’s for sure.
- To Richard Carleton
 

Lexii-

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Yeah, definately Paul Keating.
He's a legend.

Julia Gillard is pretty good too.


My favourite Keating quotes are:

"The little desiccated coconut is under pressure and he is attacking anything he can get his hands on"
(On John Howard)

"You boxhead you wouldn't know. You are flat out counting past ten."
(On Wilson Tuckey)

"His performance is like being flogged with a warm lettuce."
(On John Hewson)

Ahahaha.

How I wish Keating was still in Parliament.
 
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wikiwiki

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That Wilson Tuckey one is tops because Keating ripped into Howard and the opposition as well. I'll find the Hansard. I tried to get footage of the best keating quotes, but our parliament is run by fuckwits.

Why should it be fucking copyright, it's our nation's Parliament. Stupid tools.

edit:

Mr Tuckey —All you have done is finance growth with debt.

Mr KEATING —You boxhead, you would not know. You are flat out counting past 10.

Mr Tuckey —Mr Deputy Speaker, I take a point of order. I ask for that remark to be withdrawn.

Mr KEATING —I will withdraw it if you shut up for a while.

Mr Tuckey —I will shut up in the normal way I have to. You are an idiot. You are just a hopeless nong. You would not know.

Mr KEATING —Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig.

and in the same speech:

Mr Tuckey —You could not even deliver Christmas presents to Warren Anderson.

Mr KEATING —Why do you not shut up, you clown?

Mr DEPUTY SPEAKER —Order! I warn the honourable member for O'Connor.

Mr KEATING —Mr Deputy Speaker, this man has a criminal intellect and I wonder why he is even in the Parliament, much less-

Mr DEPUTY SPEAKER —Order! The Treasurer is making a personal reflection. He knows that that is contrary to Standing Orders.

Mr KEATING —Mr Deputy Speaker, this clown continues to interject in perpetuity.
 
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BackCountrySnow

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Keating sounds like a cunt.
A man who lacks substance and resorts to shitty one-liners.
 

withoutaface

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Shoubadoo said:
Jason Wood, by far.

"Genetically modified orgasms- orgasms"
Witty "implicimplicatoins"
Best part was that his electorate of La Trobe saw a fierce competition of Wood v Cocks.
 

midst

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Undoubtedly Keating, I can't think of any decent quotes though at the moment. Censure motion reply on youtube is great for a watch though - Keating in action.
 

Iron

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midst said:
Undoubtedly Keating, I can't think of any decent quotes though at the moment. .
Two blokes and a cocker spaniel doesn't make a family
"
 

hsb39

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Kim Beazley...




You nearly thought I was serious for a second there didn't you, come on, admit it.
 

spiny norman

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That's pretty funny.

Because I know when I think of the dimmest person in Australian political history, Beazley is who immediately springs to mind.
 

hsb39

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spiny norman said:
That's pretty funny.

Because I know when I think of the dimmest person in Australian political history, Beazley is who immediately springs to mind.
I am certainly further to the Left of politics, but some of the people certainly could have been better to win some elections (John Kerry, if it was just anyone but John Kerry).
 

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