sex after marriage??????? (1 Viewer)

[*hopeful*]

hey yer, my fiance is making me wait til after marriage woohoo its only 2 more weeks, i have been waitint years for this, but i have never had intercourse with a girl before so it will be lovely experience.. well i hope it is otherwise we will get divorced... love and kisses
Jess

lol... um ur fiance's a girl and so r u ?

 

[ice ken]

lol... um ur fiance's a girl and so r u ?

i think it might be a troll trying to get sum attention :rofl:

 

[AlleyCat]

Although I'm all for sex before marriage, I find the whole "what if you're bad in bed!" or "what if it hurts you on your honeymoon!" arguments really embarrassing for our side of the argument.

My thoughts exactly!

I find it very sad that they do feel the urge to get married, yet hesitate if they think their partner may not be Casanova.

 

[tlodg]

i have a friend who believes in sex after marraige. i love th girl but personally i want to have a good honeymoon not a pianful and awkward one, even thought its her belief.
who here agrees? whats ur thoughts on the matter?

then....fuck many many times after your wedding ceremony then go to honeymoon a little later.

 

[*hopeful*]

i think it might be a troll trying to get sum attention :rofl:

lol thats what i thought but just in case

 

[ImSoHot]

I believe in sex after marriage. I believe in sex before marriage too. Sex all round! Woo!

 

[Cykologi_gal]

Man - I've made far too many comments on this - people hate me - especially Stas I think lol.

I'm definitely not going to do it before I marry - but I'll make sure that the guy will be good lol - I've done all the bases except for the 4th, to put really bluntly.

...but people should be respected - for their religious/personal beliefs etc - I didn't know that Buddhism said that we should only "consummate" with one peson...until I read about that - but I grew up believing it anyway - so it fits...but right now I've got this great need to be emancipated from my cultural beliefs etc...I just want to be free and modern, but that decision will stay.

The bottom line is - a good honeymoon is defined by many aspects - giving yourself away is one - even though it may be painful, but it reflects one's willpower, determination and perseverence, in a way. Try not to focus on that one aspect too much, the girl respects the guy when he respects her beliefs...

Virginity is special - one can only give it away once.

 

[wheredanton]

Virginity is special - one can only give it away once.

You make it sound as if virginity is something that can be bought and sold. That it's 'valuable'. It's only valuable to serving centuries of old fashioned views towards women where men expect women to be virgins at marriage so that they have the pleasure of 'owning' her virginity. By adopting such views you simply perpetuate the subconscious old male fantasy of being the girls first one. It also implies that part of your substantial worth is your virginity. Its up to you how you wish to value yourself, but I can suggest other ways in which you could value yourself or give to your partner other than your virginity.

I don't know, do you suddenly expect to be a different person after he puts his penis into you, thrusts for anywhere between 1 min and 2 hours (probably 1 min if you make him wait till wedding night) and then rolls over and falls asleep?

 

[Serius]

virgins are icky, they have these wierd expectations and end up all clingy.

 

[Ennaybur]

virgins are icky, they have these wierd expectations and end up all clingy.

I know I do

 

[Cykologi_gal]

You make it sound as if virginity is something that can be bought and sold. That it's 'valuable'. It's only valuable to serving centuries of old fashioned views towards women where men expect women to be virgins at marriage so that they have the pleasure of 'owning' her virginity. By adopting such views you simply perpetuate the subconscious old male fantasy of being the girls first one. It also implies that part of your substantial worth is your virginity. Its up to you how you wish to value yourself, but I can suggest other ways in which you could value yourself or give to your partner other than your virginity.

I don't know, do you suddenly expect to be a different person after he puts his penis into you, thrusts for anywhere between 1 min and 2 hours (probably 1 min if you make him wait till wedding night) and then rolls over and falls asleep?

Well - just so you know - I've emancipated myself - I thought EXACTLY what you thought and I don't want to be bounded to tradition anymore. I don't want to be in any way "below" men i.e. that I SHOULD give my husband my first time. I just want to be modern - so desperate to break free of every constraint. I've defined purity in a whole new way... besides, the term virginity is confusing anyway.

I don't feel like a different person at all, really - just a little more "worldly" and sophisticated in a way lol. I still value myself

 

[champ_sammy_19]

i have a friend who believes in sex after marraige. i love th girl but personally i want to have a good honeymoon not a pianful and awkward one, even thought its her belief.
who here agrees? whats ur thoughts on the matter?

I have several friends who are waiting till they get married before they have sex and I think that is real awesome and most of the time i wished that I had waited

 

[wheredanton]

Well - just so you know - I've emancipated myself - I thought EXACTLY what you thought and I don't want to be bounded to tradition anymore. I don't want to be in any way "below" men i.e. that I SHOULD give my husband my first time. I just want to be modern - so desperate to break free of every constraint. I've defined purity in a whole new way... besides, the term virginity is confusing anyway.

I don't feel like a different person at all, really - just a little more "worldly" and sophisticated in a way lol. I still value myself

wow...I never actually thought anyone actually listened to my ramblings in any of these forums. After 4 years someone actually went and acted on my posts. I feel weird.

 

[flipsyde]

The main thing I fear is this... (Im not saying I wont have sex before marriage, It all depends really) I fear having sex with a guy that I 'love' and I think loves me back (with protection of course, but theyre only so reliable) then ending up pregnant andthe guy leaving me to take care of the kid myself.

Now here's where the right time/person comes in.

1- I'm only going to have sex when both my partner and I are ready adn before hand I wantto discuss what we are going to do if pregnancy is an outcome of it...because you never know, and also discuss how its going to affect the relationship.

2- It has to be love, thats why its called making love. We MUST be in love first (I'm not saying that it will be the person that I'll marry, or spend the rest of my life with...its just the person that I love and loves me back). But I dont mean just words, they will have shown me over time that they do love me and care about me.

Thats just my opinion. We have to be ready, and if we aren't ready until we're married then so be it.

 

[ElGronko]

To be honest, I think you are a little overly worried about the pregnancy thing.

As long as you are using newish condoms (eg. that haven't been sitting in his wallet for a year) the chance of getting pregnant is so minuscule that it is put at 0% by the AMI.

 

[flipsyde]

its not just that, its the whole trust thing, I dont want sex to ruin the relationship because we werent ready etc or because we werent in love and may therefore regret it.

Even though condoms put the risk at 0% (its actually more like 2%) there is still that chance y'know. Adding to that, if he and I arent prepared to take care of what may come of it then we arent ready, not just emotionally and mentally, but I mean like Im still studying and have no money.

If youre not prepared to deal with the conciquences (no matter how small the risk) then you shouldnt do it. I'm a risk taker yes, but this is waaay to much ofa risk, not just with a child but witht risking the relationship to.

It has to be love first, then, no glove no love

 

[ElGronko]

2%? no, seriously, whilst they accept the fact that it has happened, the number of people who have become pregnant after sex with a condom is so insignificant they place it at 0%. I did a paper on it a couple of years ago.

2% is ridiculous. That means one in every 50 times you have sex with a condom you will get your partner pregnant. I must admit that I wouldn't have had sex 50 times yet, but I'm sure there would be many people with partners on this site who would have easily.

Essentially you would have to be the virgin Mary to get pregnant through protected sex. So many people want babies and it takes them months.

I am not telling you that you should be getting thrashed nightly, I just think that you are trying to justify your reluctance to lose your virginity incorrectly. It seems to me that you want to wait for Mr Right, which is fair enough, you shouldn't need to justify it in any other way.

 

[Lil Miss Karly]

To be honest, I think you are a little overly worried about the pregnancy thing.

As long as you are using newish condoms (eg. that haven't been sitting in his wallet for a year) the chance of getting pregnant is so minuscule that it is put at 0% by the AMI.

That's because you're not the one popping the baby out!

 

[ElGronko]

No, I'm just a rationalist.


I'm also the one forced to pay child support.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

I believe that a fear of pregnancy is a valid reason for not having sex...but on the other hand, if it's getting out of hand lol, like, if you want to make love, but that's the only reason for you not to do it, then you might like to talk about it with him. It's not really a feminism case of whose going to labour and have children, but you know, when there's a will, there's a way - there's always protections to use. I understand the paranoia really, so for you, I guess you just have to wait until you feel you're ready, like you said about responsibilities etc and not just convinced that 'okay if I double the protection then it's going to be okay' kind of thing.

All the best!