Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)

[Treefeet]

Dear Mr Old Man,
Do not touch my shoulder. Do NOT accidentally brush my breast region. Do not tell me I am beautiful. And do not tell me that your mind is probably playing tricks on you and making you THINK I am beautiful because of the amount of beer that you have consumed. Hmph. Do not cap this performance off by placing your hand on my shoulder again in a seedy way.
Sincerely,
Me.

EDIT: Seriously happened to me today. :|

This is why we as woman have a mouth.. You kindly tell the man, if he touch's you again, you will call your manager and they will take the man out of the store. (as a warning) and then if he does it again.. You will say to the man. : If you touch me, i will have you charged with sexual assault.

Its a pretty simple

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

No you cannot have a refund for a perfectly functioning item which you do not have proof of purchase for

No you cannot have a refund because you didn't read your contract and are a moron

No you cannot have a refund because you broke it by doing something to it that the instructions specifically advise you against doing, like dropping electrical appliances in the bath or maxing out your kitchen scales with a fucking 15kg weight

No you cannot have a refund because you have cancer or are pregnant or on drugs or broke or whatever sob story you want to tell me

NO
NO
NO

OKAY

If it is faulty and you have proof of purchase then YES you can have a refund
If it is not fit for the stated purpose and you have proof of purchase then YES you can have a refund
If the item does not match the stated description and you have proof of purchase then YES you can have a refund

otherwise kindly fuck off and thanks for calling

on that note I'm going to bed, night all

 

[booshbanditxx]

For the Deli in Woolies:

Don't just say "I'd like some shaved ham, please" We have, like, 5 different types of shaved ham, I'm gonna have to know what type you want.

I'm only human...It is not possible for me to deal you out exactly 2kg of cocktail franks, you're gonna have to settle for 1.999kg

Don't tell me how to do my job. Last time I checked, I'M the one that worked here.

Don't get annoyed if there are no chickens cooked at the exact moment that you want it. The oven is only capable of holding a certain number of chickens, and a chicken takes time to cook. Anyway, what's wrong with the ones out on the Bain Marie?

Letting me decide the flavour of your kebabs is not a good idea. You might not like them, and WHO will get the blame?...

Don't get angry if I've moved passed your customer number. You should have been looking and listening.

Don't pull out more customer numbers than required. It really stuffs everything up.

 

[babikakez]

I only sell the phone credit, I have no way of pulling out your usage records to tell you why you have no credit left.

fuck, some people are so stupid.

 

[townie]

yes you DO need a PIN for a Savings/Cheque card, no matter how many times you assure me that "i've never had to use one before"

 

[babikakez]

oh, and don't pay $5000 off your credit card and get shitty with me when i take a while to count it.

 

[Kiim2507]

Tuck in your chairs oh my god.
I spend 50% of my day tucking in other peoples chairs >.<

 

[bdude]

yes you DO need a PIN for a Savings/Cheque card, no matter how many times you assure me that "i've never had to use one before"

WTF. Some people are so stupid.

 

[emiliieee]

i dont care if your accounting people are taking shit out on you. don't tell me these things. as if we need to know that your accounting people are pissed off with you. and please stop repeating yourself to me i heard you the first time. just because you guys fucked up your end doesnt mean we did here.

 

[booshbanditxx]

Always take a ticket. Don't tell me that you're in a rush and you only need to get some ham and expect me to serve you in front of all the customers that did the right thing. You're not as special as you think.

Telling your feet what you want isn't helping anyone.

"I'm sorry, we're all out of that."
"In the back perhaps?"
"...I'm sorry...we're..all..OUT..of..that."
"..oh..":mad1:

 

[x.christina]

yes you DO need a PIN for a Savings/Cheque card, no matter how many times you assure me that "i've never had to use one before"

dear god who was this idiot!

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Customer: my scales are broken I want to send them back for a refund
Me: no worries, are they within warranty
Customer: how longs the warranty for
Me: 12 months, there should be a card with the box it came in
Customer: oh well they're 3 years old
Me: well then they're out of warranty so unfortunately we can't refund you
Customer: that's illegal
Me: lol no it isn't
Customer: RANT BLAH I'M GONNA REPORT U TO THE MEDIA I KNOW MY RIGHTS TODAY TONIGHT BLAH

*dial tone*

*facepalm*

80% of my customers this past week were ace though, so can't really complain

 

[Aerath]

Should've laughed in his/her face: "Today Tonight".

 

[SnowFox]

Customer: Hey can you help me
Malcom (cafe owner): Sure *sends me*
Customer: Yeah im trying to log in to this site, but it keeps saying its blocked.
Me: *Checks* Hang on ill get the owner
Malcom: *Checks main computer* GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW.

Turns our he was trying to search kiddie porn, then he got bashed at another internet cafe down the road for being caught.

 

[jasonml]

wow you hero

 

[shinji]

Always take a ticket. Don't tell me that you're in a rush and you only need to get some ham and expect me to serve you in front of all the customers that did the right thing. You're not as special as you think.

Telling your feet what you want isn't helping anyone.

"I'm sorry, we're all out of that."
"In the back perhaps?"
"...I'm sorry...we're..all..OUT..of..that."
"..oh..":mad1:

haha deli.


I just blatantly deny customers if they didn't take a ticket and try to push in.
Customer - actions me to serve them
Me: Did you take a ticket?
Customer - no
Me: well you gotta take a ticket. Other people were here before you.

and then it turns out that i gotta serve him anyways. DX

but ZOMG!!!
this customer when i was doing close on thursday - i had a bad day so i was acting kinda mean.
Customer wanted shaved berliner.
I go out the back.. bum around a for a bit... go back and say we don't have any.
then she says she wants freaking shaved mortadella.
So being sus if we didn't have any, i did it for her .. . it dirtied my freaking clean slicer >=/
Not happy.

 

[Kiim2507]

Decide what you want before you get to the front of the line.

 

[copeys]

PLEASE don't ask me how to get some random thing in town. I do not have an information sign over my head, and frankly, I don't give a FUCK.

Seriously, during a festival here in town, everyone wanted to know where something they wanted was. I ended up just saying "down the main street"

 

[missanonymous7]

Job #1:
If you are sent a questionnaire, then send back the form they sent you, completed. Don't ignore the questionnaire and just send back a Certificate of Currency (or whatever it is). Not only is that bloody lazy, but I am only doing data entry, and am NOT an accountant, so I don't understand the jargon, and I need to enter stuff in specific fields.

Also, don't write 'You already have it' in the 'Address' section of the form. How long does it really take you to write down your address!?

Oh, and that messy scrawl there? Despite my best efforts, it's indecipherable. Someone's gotta read it, so write legibly.

Job #2:
If my boss cannot get to the phone, no, I do not know the answer to your obscure engineering/manufacturing question. Yes, I do need your name, company and contact number, even if you claim that 'he'll know who I am'. No, I do not speak 'mumble', please speak clearly. No, we do not have an eftpos facility, stop complaining about it.


Seriously, if everyone just followed these two rules:

WRITE LEGIBLY

SPEAK CLEARLY on the phone

then the world would be a better place.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Job #1:
If you are sent a questionnaire, then send back the form they sent you, completed. Don't ignore the questionnaire and just send back a Certificate of Currency (or whatever it is). Not only is that bloody lazy, but I am only doing data entry, and am NOT an accountant, so I don't understand the jargon, and I need to enter stuff in specific fields.

Also, don't write 'You already have it' in the 'Address' section of the form. How long does it really take you to write down your address!?

Oh, and that messy scrawl there? Despite my best efforts, it's indecipherable. Someone's gotta read it, so write legibly.

Job #2:
If my boss cannot get to the phone, no, I do not know the answer to your obscure engineering/manufacturing question. Yes, I do need your name, company and contact number, even if you claim that 'he'll know who I am'. No, I do not speak 'mumble', please speak clearly. No, we do not have an eftpos facility, stop complaining about it.


Seriously, if everyone just followed these two rules:

WRITE LEGIBLY

SPEAK CLEARLY on the phone

then the world would be a better place.

When I was doing data entry stuff at my work a while back I basically had to fill in the addresses of like ten thousand people and so many of them didn't put complete addresses on their forms it was baffling.

Seriously "18 Shield Street QLD" is not an address you moron I need a suburb and a postcode as well or you're not going to get mailed your shit. Some people didn't even put the state, I was like WTF, at least with my example it's possible to snoop out the answer through google/white pages but come on.

And then a few weeks later I was fielding complaint calls from all the morons who didn't get their stuff on account of being too retarded to write even a semi-complete address on a card. facepalm.