ShadowLighte
Member
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2012
- Messages
- 185
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2014
Alright, this is going to be long. I'm very conflicted at the moment. Please bear with me.
Okay so from year 10-12 there was a guy who liked me, let's call him Guy A. I never liked him back, but we became best friends because we were helping each other through dark times with family and pressure from school etc. especially through hsc and whatnot. We told each other things that probably will never be spoken again. He was very suicidal and I was dealing with abusive parents. Yeah, that could have ended horrendously. We were in a group with quite a few other people but most notably, Guy A's best friend of like, 5 years who I never talked to but he seemed nice, just intimidating. Let's call him Guy B.
Around year 11 Guy A started trash talking Guy B about how he's 'such a little bitch' and then later on went to say that he went to hang out with Guy B and Guy B called me a 'fucking whore' for leading Guy A on since I didn't like him back. I didn't know Guy B well at the time so I had no idea where this came from and found it hard to believe because he seemed really nice. Guy A said he was pissed off at Guy B because of it and stood up for me. He gave me quotes of what Guy B said about it. A few days later, he told me Guy B apologised to me. I asked Guy A why he didn't just talk to me irl or online and Guy A said he didn't know, which I kinda found sus. I didn't confront Guy B because I don't like confrontations and I didn't feel the need to. We weren't friends anyway, I guess I should have. And I guess Guy A didn't think we'd ever be...
Fast forward until this year, I'm in my first year of uni. Guy A and I are no longer close. He stopped talking to me as soon as he got a gf several years younger than him at the end of Year 12 (technically a pedophile since he's 18 and she's 14). Guy B and I grew extremely close since Guy A pretty much dumped both of us for her. I was wary about Guy B because of what Guy A said but I decided to give him a chance since I couldn't shake off that he was nice. I'd consider him my s/o at the moment but we haven't made anything 'official' because there are some issues we haven't sorted through yet.
Anyway, Guy A came up in one of our conversations about 6 months ago. We didn't like talking about him much. Apparently Guy A told Guy B that I liked him back and that he kissed me. So lie 1. That would make kind of more sense as to why Guy B said I was leading Guy A on. Guy B also said he never said such a thing about me. That whole conversation/ scenario that Guy A said about Guy B calling me a whore was lie 2. At this point, I was pissed. I'd been holding something against Guy B for no reason and I felt so incredibly stupid and betrayed for believing every word Guy A had said to me.
Strange thing is, Guy B wasn't even mad. He said he was slightly annoyed. I didn't understand. I asked him if he wanted screenshots for proof to show that I wasn't making it up and to know the whole thing and he said no. I still don't understand why not. I'd want to know the whole story. Guy B said he'd confront Guy A about it. Months passed and he never did. I asked him and he said he didn't because he didn't want to ruin the friendship between them. I don't know what friendship he was talking about since clearly there wasn't one. I was pretty annoyed and ended up having to confront Guy A myself which I would have done ages ago. I went through with Guy B to ensure that he realised what Guy A had done and to make him see that Guy A wasn't his best friend. In the end he agreed, that the relationship between him and Guy A was not of best friends and that Guy A was a complete ass. But he said he didn't know what to do about it and would rather me make decisions for me because he had poor judgement. I don't want to make decisions for him and just told him to think about what he wanted to do.
Anyway, confronted Guy A about it. Talked to him like nothing happened at first and then asked him about lie 1. He insisted that he never said or did such a thing and that there was a rumour that I liked him that was made by some other friend who he saw arguing with me often irl so I guess he assumed we weren't on good terms but it was just playful. (I asked that friend who I'm close with now and he said he never even knew anything about Guy A and I since he was new at the time and wasn't even in the group yet). Lie 3. I asked him about his relationship with Guy B, if they were still best friends and whatnot and he said not really. He didn't really talk to him or hang out because there wasn't any time. Yet he goes out with his girlfriend and they take photos together and post them online. He said it's because whenever his teacher calls, he has to go to class. Meaning he couldn't plan anything. I thought that was a load of BS but fine. I asked him about the whole scenario of Lie 2 and he just left me on seen. Yep. If that wasn't any indication of being guilty, I don't know what would be. If he had just admitted to it and said it was a mistake, I would at least have closure. But no. I told Guy B that it was sorted and if he wanted to see what Guy A said about it because there was too much to summarise. He said no. Again, I have no idea why not.
A month passed without reply and I was still annoyed because I did not have closure and I just unfriended Guy A. Why would I need to be friends with such a person?
That would have been all good except for Guy B. Guy B is a people pleaser. He's a complete pushover. It annoys me to no end because people take advantage of him and I hate it. He can't stand up for himself. Not just with this but even just going out after uni, even if he's exhausted and it's really late, he'll stay up with them for as long as they ask him to, even at 2am. If they tell him to drink, he'll get completely wasted even though he doesn't want to because of the pressure and then come home and complain about it to me.
That aside, recently, he's started talking to Guy A again, tagging him in things, making jokes and whatnot that's public. I think it's because Guy A knows I unfriended him and he's trying to get back to Guy B. I decided to ask Guy B today if he was on good terms with Guy A and he said they were 'okay'. I asked him why he being friendly after what Guy A did to him and he said he didn't know. I clearly told him that I didn't like Guy A and he said he's stop talking to him. I don't want to control him or his decisions so I said that just because I said I didn't like him, doesn't mean that he should stop being friends with him because if I said I didn't like any of his friends, he wasn't going to just drop all of them. He said that if he didn't stop, he'd get friendlier with Guy A. I asked why he was even talking to Guy A and he said it "kinda just happened" and he doesn't know what he's doing. Then he completely changed the subject.
I don't understand. I really don't. What the fuck is going on. Why would he go back to that? He's not stupid. He's not telling me anything I can work with. It's all 'I don't know'. All he says is that he doesn't know why. It's really pissing me off and I'm surprised at myself because I'm not an angry person. I don't even know why I'm so upset. If anything, I'm the peacekeeper and hate conflict. I feel like he's in denial. He didn't want to see any of the screenshots because he didn't want to face the truth.
I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who can't stand up for themselves and lets themselves be walked all over, especially when they're fully aware of it yet I don't want to leave him alone because he will be taken advantaged of and I care too much about him to let that happen.
I can't fucking win. I'll probably punch Guy A in the face if I see him irl. Funny sight since he's more than a foot taller than me. Well I'm a lot calmer. Still peeved. Guy B just thinks nothing's a big deal. He never takes things seriously. I really don't know what to do. I really like Guy B but I think this might be what I need to call it off and end things. Sorry for taking so much of your time. I have 3 mid sems this week, yay for fails..
Okay so from year 10-12 there was a guy who liked me, let's call him Guy A. I never liked him back, but we became best friends because we were helping each other through dark times with family and pressure from school etc. especially through hsc and whatnot. We told each other things that probably will never be spoken again. He was very suicidal and I was dealing with abusive parents. Yeah, that could have ended horrendously. We were in a group with quite a few other people but most notably, Guy A's best friend of like, 5 years who I never talked to but he seemed nice, just intimidating. Let's call him Guy B.
Around year 11 Guy A started trash talking Guy B about how he's 'such a little bitch' and then later on went to say that he went to hang out with Guy B and Guy B called me a 'fucking whore' for leading Guy A on since I didn't like him back. I didn't know Guy B well at the time so I had no idea where this came from and found it hard to believe because he seemed really nice. Guy A said he was pissed off at Guy B because of it and stood up for me. He gave me quotes of what Guy B said about it. A few days later, he told me Guy B apologised to me. I asked Guy A why he didn't just talk to me irl or online and Guy A said he didn't know, which I kinda found sus. I didn't confront Guy B because I don't like confrontations and I didn't feel the need to. We weren't friends anyway, I guess I should have. And I guess Guy A didn't think we'd ever be...
Fast forward until this year, I'm in my first year of uni. Guy A and I are no longer close. He stopped talking to me as soon as he got a gf several years younger than him at the end of Year 12 (technically a pedophile since he's 18 and she's 14). Guy B and I grew extremely close since Guy A pretty much dumped both of us for her. I was wary about Guy B because of what Guy A said but I decided to give him a chance since I couldn't shake off that he was nice. I'd consider him my s/o at the moment but we haven't made anything 'official' because there are some issues we haven't sorted through yet.
Anyway, Guy A came up in one of our conversations about 6 months ago. We didn't like talking about him much. Apparently Guy A told Guy B that I liked him back and that he kissed me. So lie 1. That would make kind of more sense as to why Guy B said I was leading Guy A on. Guy B also said he never said such a thing about me. That whole conversation/ scenario that Guy A said about Guy B calling me a whore was lie 2. At this point, I was pissed. I'd been holding something against Guy B for no reason and I felt so incredibly stupid and betrayed for believing every word Guy A had said to me.
Strange thing is, Guy B wasn't even mad. He said he was slightly annoyed. I didn't understand. I asked him if he wanted screenshots for proof to show that I wasn't making it up and to know the whole thing and he said no. I still don't understand why not. I'd want to know the whole story. Guy B said he'd confront Guy A about it. Months passed and he never did. I asked him and he said he didn't because he didn't want to ruin the friendship between them. I don't know what friendship he was talking about since clearly there wasn't one. I was pretty annoyed and ended up having to confront Guy A myself which I would have done ages ago. I went through with Guy B to ensure that he realised what Guy A had done and to make him see that Guy A wasn't his best friend. In the end he agreed, that the relationship between him and Guy A was not of best friends and that Guy A was a complete ass. But he said he didn't know what to do about it and would rather me make decisions for me because he had poor judgement. I don't want to make decisions for him and just told him to think about what he wanted to do.
Anyway, confronted Guy A about it. Talked to him like nothing happened at first and then asked him about lie 1. He insisted that he never said or did such a thing and that there was a rumour that I liked him that was made by some other friend who he saw arguing with me often irl so I guess he assumed we weren't on good terms but it was just playful. (I asked that friend who I'm close with now and he said he never even knew anything about Guy A and I since he was new at the time and wasn't even in the group yet). Lie 3. I asked him about his relationship with Guy B, if they were still best friends and whatnot and he said not really. He didn't really talk to him or hang out because there wasn't any time. Yet he goes out with his girlfriend and they take photos together and post them online. He said it's because whenever his teacher calls, he has to go to class. Meaning he couldn't plan anything. I thought that was a load of BS but fine. I asked him about the whole scenario of Lie 2 and he just left me on seen. Yep. If that wasn't any indication of being guilty, I don't know what would be. If he had just admitted to it and said it was a mistake, I would at least have closure. But no. I told Guy B that it was sorted and if he wanted to see what Guy A said about it because there was too much to summarise. He said no. Again, I have no idea why not.
A month passed without reply and I was still annoyed because I did not have closure and I just unfriended Guy A. Why would I need to be friends with such a person?
That would have been all good except for Guy B. Guy B is a people pleaser. He's a complete pushover. It annoys me to no end because people take advantage of him and I hate it. He can't stand up for himself. Not just with this but even just going out after uni, even if he's exhausted and it's really late, he'll stay up with them for as long as they ask him to, even at 2am. If they tell him to drink, he'll get completely wasted even though he doesn't want to because of the pressure and then come home and complain about it to me.
That aside, recently, he's started talking to Guy A again, tagging him in things, making jokes and whatnot that's public. I think it's because Guy A knows I unfriended him and he's trying to get back to Guy B. I decided to ask Guy B today if he was on good terms with Guy A and he said they were 'okay'. I asked him why he being friendly after what Guy A did to him and he said he didn't know. I clearly told him that I didn't like Guy A and he said he's stop talking to him. I don't want to control him or his decisions so I said that just because I said I didn't like him, doesn't mean that he should stop being friends with him because if I said I didn't like any of his friends, he wasn't going to just drop all of them. He said that if he didn't stop, he'd get friendlier with Guy A. I asked why he was even talking to Guy A and he said it "kinda just happened" and he doesn't know what he's doing. Then he completely changed the subject.
I don't understand. I really don't. What the fuck is going on. Why would he go back to that? He's not stupid. He's not telling me anything I can work with. It's all 'I don't know'. All he says is that he doesn't know why. It's really pissing me off and I'm surprised at myself because I'm not an angry person. I don't even know why I'm so upset. If anything, I'm the peacekeeper and hate conflict. I feel like he's in denial. He didn't want to see any of the screenshots because he didn't want to face the truth.
I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who can't stand up for themselves and lets themselves be walked all over, especially when they're fully aware of it yet I don't want to leave him alone because he will be taken advantaged of and I care too much about him to let that happen.
I can't fucking win. I'll probably punch Guy A in the face if I see him irl. Funny sight since he's more than a foot taller than me. Well I'm a lot calmer. Still peeved. Guy B just thinks nothing's a big deal. He never takes things seriously. I really don't know what to do. I really like Guy B but I think this might be what I need to call it off and end things. Sorry for taking so much of your time. I have 3 mid sems this week, yay for fails..
