Pretty sure i have NO imagination (1 Viewer)

[loz8092467]

Hey guys, considering i suck at creative writing does anyone have any ideas where my pathetic story can go from here..

P.s i know its crap. Dont laugh hahahah


As a bunch pedestrians casually strolled by and the heavy traffic passed it could clearly be seen that a nations pride could be represented in several sizes, shapes and forms through the sidewalk shop on Mately St. As I ecstatically entered, I observed that it was filled with a vast number of belongings sharing the same common colours. From a small flashing key ring, to a beach towel placed against a white backdrop next to the summer swimwear. To the left, placed slightly lower in reaching distance were cricket bats and hats, a few more added cultural icons that helped the shop’s atmosphere to scream Australian Day is here.

My journey to join the nationalistic madness this January 26th began as I arose from my king single bed as the irritating Indian Minor birds sang there songs of sorrow. My powerful feelings of being an Aussie on this day had escalated. As a 17 year old female surrounded by family and friends sharing the pride and joy of being an Australian, I new there was no better way to celebrate than physically showing my Proud attitude in Australia Day gear.

My previous retail experience pressured me into asking the shop assistant for some help. “Excuse me, Hi. I was just wondering if I could grab a helping hand for a second”. His name badge from a distance seemed to spell Jim, but as the gap between us closed I realised I was quite largely mistaken. I opened my mouth again making sure my manners were present “John, you look like a nice Aussie bloke. Do you think you could help me find a few things? Im kind of in a rush.” He replied quietly with a “Sure”. John didn’t seem too confident from the outside. An adolescent child maybe 14 or so, unfortunately in the stages of fighting teenage acne. We all know how it feels. “Okay so I was after some green and gold zinc, an Australian hat, maybe a flag will come in handy, and how about some of those fancy Aussie flagged thongs and ill definitely be needing a pack of stick on tattoos”. John’s facial expressions were as though an imaginary list was being ticked of one by one in his head.

 

[Evil Sprinkles]

Your descriptions are good, and your story writing skills are coming along nicely.
What I think you need to do is elaborate on John's disconnectedness from the store itself. Its an Aussie store selling aussie things, but you alude to him feeling alienated.
Perhaps the story can lead to a friendship between the two characters as they explore eachothers worlds. one of belonging, the other of isolation.
The store could also be used as a metaphor for the country too, hes in it, hes apart of it (uniform (THE NAME BADGE)), he works there, hes communicates with people there(very little) and he essentially belongs there as a worker. But he still feels as if he doesnt belong. Whereas your potaginist is clearly an Ausie girl planning a massive celebration on January 26th.

Also, if you run with that idea, make the juxtaposition of the two degrees of belonging being experienced clear to the markers by always presenting both contexts of belonging by the 2 characters wherever possible


Hope that helps

 

[loz8092467]

WOW, thankyou so much for you help. That has seriously helped so much. Ive been tossing and turning thinking about where to go from here with it. This sounds awesome. You sound like a smart person.

All the best in the coming weeks

X

 

[Eddykungfu]

I edited it for you.

As a bunch pedestrians casually strolled by and the heavy traffic passed, I pulled out my robe and wizard hat. I begin to cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. Everyone suddenly turns into beautiful women. I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite, then I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
"What are you doing weird man?" Said the little girl, clearly trying to make me have the belonging of a lvl 16 elf
"Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands." I began to shout.
"I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid."

Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Finally, I can belonged.

 

[Top Secret]

^ Wow, that's really good.
Well done.

 

[Comrade Lenin]

I edited it for you.

As a bunch pedestrians casually strolled by and the heavy traffic passed, I pulled out my robe and wizard hat. I begin to cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. Everyone suddenly turns into beautiful women. I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite, then I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.
"What are you doing weird man?" Said the little girl, clearly trying to make me have the belonging of a lvl 16 elf
"Don't f**k with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands." I began to shout.
"I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid."

Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
Finally, I can belonged.

fucking wowfag
stop posting

 

[throwaway]

Hey guys, considering i suck at creative writing does anyone have any ideas where my pathetic story can go from here..

P.s i know its crap. Dont laugh hahahah


As a bunch pedestrians casually strolled by and the heavy traffic passed it could clearly be seen that a nations pride could be represented in several sizes, shapes and forms through the sidewalk shop on Mately St. As I ecstatically entered, I observed that it was filled with a vast number of belongings sharing the same common colours. From a small flashing key ring, to a beach towel placed against a white backdrop next to the summer swimwear. To the left, placed slightly lower in reaching distance were cricket bats and hats, a few more added cultural icons that helped the shop’s atmosphere to scream Australian Day is here.

My journey to join the nationalistic madness this January 26th began as I arose from my king single bed as the irritating Indian Minor birds sang there songs of sorrow. My powerful feelings of being an Aussie on this day had escalated. As a 17 year old female surrounded by family and friends sharing the pride and joy of being an Australian, I new there was no better way to celebrate than physically showing my Proud attitude in Australia Day gear.

My previous retail experience pressured me into asking the shop assistant for some help. “Excuse me, Hi. I was just wondering if I could grab a helping hand for a second”. His name badge from a distance seemed to spell Jim, but as the gap between us closed I realised I was quite largely mistaken. I opened my mouth again making sure my manners were present “John, you look like a nice Aussie bloke. Do you think you could help me find a few things? Im kind of in a rush.” He replied quietly with a “Sure”. John didn’t seem too confident from the outside. An adolescent child maybe 14 or so, unfortunately in the stages of fighting teenage acne. We all know how it feels. “Okay so I was after some green and gold zinc, an Australian hat, maybe a flag will come in handy, and how about some of those fancy Aussie flagged thongs and ill definitely be needing a pack of stick on tattoos”. John’s facial expressions were as though an imaginary list was being ticked of one by one in his head.

yeah, that's horrible.


ways to get 18+/20 in english advanced

a) Write an actually good story with sophistication and flair including a twist at the end

b) Begin with describing an insignificant event, make this a recurring theme. Use descriptive language (probably make it better than a 12yo could do) to make it a complete and utter wank. end with a twist

jerk off onto the paper

 

[loz1]

to be honest. i couldn't even put myself through finishing it..