Parents, emotional abuse, want to move out - need help! (1 Viewer)

[mouz]

Hello all,

I didn't know where to post this so I'm posting it in a couple of the sub-forums. I am in my 20s, have always had strict parents - for the past two years I have been having problems with my family. Emotinal abuse has become a frequent part of my life (no physical, have not been physicallly beaten since about 17). Increasingly, I find my life is being restricted, I am not allowed to work, stay out past a certain time. Over the past years, it has gotten really bad! I am pretty much not allowed to do much outside the house. I know it is partially my fault for letting this happen, but what I have noticed is that over time, things just get worse. My father becomes more emotionally abusive and intimidating. I want to move out and don't know how. Many may be surprised that I am so old and have not moved out already... no one in my family has moved out ever. We don't do that in our culture. Its hard, and its extremely intimidating thinking what I may have to face if I brought up that topic.

I would like to know, are there any organisations or anything that actually help you in this process, as I know I will not be able to do this on my own, I'd fear for my safety. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[x.christina]

Hello all,

I didn't know where to post this so I'm posting it in a couple of the sub-forums. I am in my 20s, have always had strict parents - for the past two years I have been having problems with my family. Emotinal abuse has become a frequent part of my life (no physical, have not been physicallly beaten since about 17). Increasingly, I find my life is being restricted, I am not allowed to work, stay out past a certain time. Over the past years, it has gotten really bad! I am pretty much not allowed to do much outside the house. I know it is partially my fault for letting this happen, but what I have noticed is that over time, things just get worse. My father becomes more emotionally abusive and intimidating. I want to move out and don't know how. Many may be surprised that I am so old and have not moved out already... no one in my family has moved out ever. We don't do that in our culture. Its hard, and its extremely intimidating thinking what I may have to face if I brought up that topic.

I would like to know, are there any organisations or anything that actually help you in this process, as I know I will not be able to do this on my own, I'd fear for my safety. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Firstly I'm sorry about your situation. I too have strict and controlling parents who will not let me move out when I go to uni. They drive me fucking insane but I still love them...

idk what i'd do when i actually do go into uni in 2010 I need to move out but they wont let me

sorry im not actually helping, just agreeing with you.

 

[zazzy1234]

look peoples i know how u all feel but i seriously think it's best if u stay put for the moment, i mean look at ur safety and future. They r doing this coz they like u. I too have strict parents and all they want me to do is study and focus on ma future and it seems ur parents r the same soo don't worry and emotional abuse maybe that's how ur parents were raised so now that's how they think that's how u raise ur children soo don't take it to the heart they wish u the best.

 

[MonkEE]

Hi,

From the passage "My father becomes more emotionally abusive and intimidating.", I think that there is a reason behind this. This could be because of some sort of addiction or pressure. i.e. gambling, alcohol, income issues. I am just guessing. But you should look into this. I have recently found out shocking revelation of my dad's lack of integrity. Sometimes life's pressure brings out the worst in us.

Anyways, try calling the kids help line. Go to the local youth centre. Youth worker at youth centre are hugely friendly and supportive. You should also talk to your family about it...the big elephant in the room that you are a grown up and you want to do things. Usually what the best thing to do is to really slowly plant the seed. You want to talk to individual person first. Tell your mom that you really want to go out and live your life. You REALLY REALLY want to go out and have fun, from your heart...Tell it to you mom, tell her you want to tell it to your dad. Then tell your dad.

If it doesn't work. Move the heck out..You are in your 20s, don't waste a minute of life. You only live once.

Do something with your life > YouTube - Lance Armstrong - Cycling Legend

 

[mr_robato]

Hello all,

I didn't know where to post this so I'm posting it in a couple of the sub-forums. I am in my 20s, have always had strict parents - for the past two years I have been having problems with my family. Emotinal abuse has become a frequent part of my life (no physical, have not been physicallly beaten since about 17). Increasingly, I find my life is being restricted, I am not allowed to work, stay out past a certain time. Over the past years, it has gotten really bad! I am pretty much not allowed to do much outside the house. I know it is partially my fault for letting this happen, but what I have noticed is that over time, things just get worse. My father becomes more emotionally abusive and intimidating. I want to move out and don't know how. Many may be surprised that I am so old and have not moved out already... no one in my family has moved out ever. We don't do that in our culture. Its hard, and its extremely intimidating thinking what I may have to face if I brought up that topic.

I would like to know, are there any organisations or anything that actually help you in this process, as I know I will not be able to do this on my own, I'd fear for my safety. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Your not alone.


TBH, i made my dad bleed 3 days back because he was doing the usual: lecturing/cursing/telling me I am useless. So he spent the next day cursing at my mum's family/telling her she's useless when in fact she is dam talented and has struggled somewhat to get a break in the *medical industry* which I'd explain due to the effects of migration.


Anywho, back to your question regarding whether there are organizations that can help you move out and the answer is a pleasant YES.

Here check this out:

Western Housing for Youth


All you need is some space to be able to get a part time job, get out, do this job, keep it, and refer yourself to "WHY".

So dude, your 20/20-something. Live your life. I'll be nineteen next month, I have always been kept on a tight leash myself with constant emotional and physical abuse [haven't been beaten for a while now, now that I am old enough to physically defend myself and even go on the offense in recent months).

I can't wait to finish my HSC.

By the sound of it, Your father won't kick you out if you do rebel because he probably has a neat/tide image out side the house. (I could be wrong, because I don't have access to that sorta info from you)




GOOD LUCK, and wish me luck



EDIT: OOps, thought you were a male so referred to you as dude, apologies.


Robato

 

[mr_robato]

look peoples i know how u all feel but i seriously think it's best if u stay put for the moment, i mean look at ur safety and future. They r doing this coz they like u. I too have strict parents and all they want me to do is study and focus on ma future and it seems ur parents r the same soo don't worry and emotional abuse maybe that's how ur parents were raised so now that's how they think that's how u raise ur children soo don't take it to the heart they wish u the best.

Zazzy, no, you don't get it. Please, don't.

No offence

Robato

 

[x.christina]

lol zazzy shut up m8 you dont know anything

if your parents are abusing you, defs move out

 

[Ben Netanyahu]

i'd be sure to delete yr internet history too cuz if yr parents find this yr toast!!!1!

 

[x.christina]

i'd be sure to delete yr internet history too cuz if yr parents find this yr toast!!!1!

must spread rep b4 repping ben again

 

[rokkuguhyo]

Do you have a trustworthy friend who lives on their own? If so, ask them if you can move to their place for a while, if they wouldn't mind. As for your parents, wait until they have to go out somewhere, then pack your stuff and go. You'd need to call them, because they'd be wondering where you were, and tell them you're not coming home unless they agree to certain terms.

 

[danal353]

Hello all,

I didn't know where to post this so I'm posting it in a couple of the sub-forums. I am in my 20s, have always had strict parents - for the past two years I have been having problems with my family. Emotinal abuse has become a frequent part of my life (no physical, have not been physicallly beaten since about 17). Increasingly, I find my life is being restricted, I am not allowed to work, stay out past a certain time. Over the past years, it has gotten really bad! I am pretty much not allowed to do much outside the house. I know it is partially my fault for letting this happen, but what I have noticed is that over time, things just get worse. My father becomes more emotionally abusive and intimidating. I want to move out and don't know how. Many may be surprised that I am so old and have not moved out already... no one in my family has moved out ever. We don't do that in our culture. Its hard, and its extremely intimidating thinking what I may have to face if I brought up that topic.

I would like to know, are there any organisations or anything that actually help you in this process, as I know I will not be able to do this on my own, I'd fear for my safety. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

i don't think i can give you any substantial advice , but i really think that you should move out. The first step will probably be the hardest.

though you will need to be able to support yourself if you do leave

 

[zazzy1234]

lol zazzy shut up m8 you dont know anything

if your parents are abusing you, defs move out

i thought it was emotional abuse not PHYSICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Omnidragon]

Pretty hard to make a valid opinion because who knows whether you're exaggerating or whether you've seriously done something silly to warrant being grounded (eg taking drugs, getting pregnant, getting arrested by cops).

If you think your father is emotionally abusing you then move out. You're 17 so you can look after yourself by getting a job etc. Otherwise just grind it out at home until you're 30 like most Gen Ys and Zs these days.

But you know, until you have the maturity to actually think through the real consequences of moving out (it's more than just freedom and having fun I can tell you), perhaps it's best to stay put like a little puppy.

 

[TheStallion]

If you have enough cash - just move out. I can't imagine how hard it is, since I can't say I share your experiences, but your parents can't stop you from moving out.

 

[groovygirl]

i feel the exact same with my parents its just pressure and them not understanding how we feel emtionally when we want them to allow us and give us opportunity to have freedom. MOVE OUT is the best option, well i wanted to months ago but im moving out in a few years time hope everything is okay for you take care
xx