Firstly, you bolded me
Maystar said:
I'm really starting to take a liking to that word, troll.
I never really had a goal, I was that bad. I thought, I can only try so hard and get what I get. Which is true, but I think I really didn't set a goal because I didn't think I could achieve that well and I wouldn't feel very happy setting myself a low goal. The stupid irony of all this is that I was doing well in most exams right up until it started counting.
Troll is quite a nice word, i agree
I hate that feeling. I tend to give myself unrealistic standards which I know I can never reach, so I can give myself a reason to feel horribly guilty. A little masochistic actually lol, but that's beside the point. I've always been insanely jealous of people who believe they're great at what they do. My fear of failure has consistently meant that I always do worse when it really counts. I was doing great this entire year, but I freaked out for the trials and kind of messed them up. I told myself I wouldn't do the same thing for the hsc, but I'm sure you can guess how that turned out. It always seems like its easier to deal with failure if you didn't try your hardest (because, of course, you can tell yourself that you probably could have done well!) than if you genuinely tried and failed anyway. (Why is this becoming more personal than conversations I have with my classmates?
)
Maystar said:
Another thing I hate is coming on here with good intentions, to actually exchange pieces of information with a comrade, and then (a) getting majorly distracted or (b) (possibly worse) when you read a post that says, well what if they ask THIS in the exam and you go "oh balls, what if they ask that in the exam..."
(My sincere apologies if I'm currently distracting you by the way lol. Feel free to tell me to sod off at any time
) No matter what we do, I think we'll always feel somehow unprepared. No matter how much study I've done, I've never felt confident going into an exam in my entire life. A teacher once asked me if I was "pumped and ready", and I almost laughed!
Maystar said:
Another irony (while I'm talking about ironies) is that you have a graduation and you get a certificate and everybody says "now you're free" but there's a weasel in the back of your head that goes, no, it's only just begun. And once it is actually over, once you walk out of your last exam...nothing happens. And I suspect I will go home thinking, what, it's really, holy, I mean, wow, can you believe, but, oh my, buffalo bagels, it's actually finally over. (but probably not verbatim)
Yeah, with you again. I honestly don't think it's going to sink in for me until maybe late next year
And actually... what you said will be pretty much verbatim for me lol.
Maystar said:
At least you can take comfort when you go on a site like this and you see other people saying exactly the same things. And it tends to be people who care about their marks who are on sites like this...watching your competition fret and fiddle can be encouraging...hang on...I'm not supposed to be helping anyone...
I don't think I will be competing with you lucidassembly anyway...I'm aiming for a 96 now. My only real concern is English, and Economics is to some degree but I have a week to fix that up (and lovely people on this site to fret with). Ahh. You know. I'll bet the real BOS have forum trolls who print this stuff out and take it to work just to laugh at us. HSC. Highly strenuous circus. With a revolving door.
BOS always makes me feel a little better, I do agree. My first preference is actually 96 too, so technically, we are indeed competing! I have to ask what course you want to do
English has freaked me out for the past two years. Always my central source of trauma, because an essay or story can
always be made better. I swear, if I could somehow replace my brain with a logical, rational and moderately normal one in terms of expectations, I'd give my right arm for the opportunity!
'Highly strenuous circus with a revolving door' = :rofl: Truly, truly brilliant. Hey, I'm sure even we'll get a good laugh out of this in 10 years time. Here's hoping anyway
(Ok. So I think I may have rambled a wee bit too much. I need to stop writing minature essays on BOS and save them for friday!)