Guys... If you meet someone special, tell her you love her when you really do. Don't wait around like me. The biggest regret in my life...
I met a really wonderful girl in year 10. She made me try my best in all my subjects just so he could impress her. A minor crush turned out to be quite fun. I sent her roses on Valentines day. The more I saw her, the happier I became. I looked forward to going to school so I could just see her standing there, talking to her friends or sitting down doing her work in class. I saw her wearing casual clothing for the first time at the swimming carnival. I smiled.
The year 10 formal took place. I was too scared to ask her out as a date. I had a bad time at the formal. I saw her having fun, so I was content
But I never did anything. I never talked to her. I don't even think I ever said 'hi'. And soon, a year had passed.
The girl I met a year ago... She walked towards me and then asked if I wanted to come to her birthday party. Never had I experienced such a feeling before. So I went.
She received more roses on Valentines day. A pathetic cover up so I didn't have to say anything. I found out that she could play the piano. I was really impressed, and I liked her even more.
That girl... She made me realise how important studying was. Just by looking at her, I had to make myself do well, otherwise I wouldn't be worthy for her. But I wasn't worthy for her. I still never said 'hi' to her - only a mere smile and wave. My cowardice had blinded me. I became delusional. I still tried.
The year 11 informal took place. I didn't attend. She did. It was my greatest regret at the time. I couldn't even go out to have fun with her. I had control over nothing. Why? Because I was too scared.
The wonderful girl I met two years ago became an important 'necessity' in my life. She made me try my best in all my subjects just so I could still impress her. This minor crush became something bigger. My monotonous efforts to send her gifts almost became redundant. My roses were useless. Why? Because I was scared for too long.
I tried to do my best at the subjects I did. I tried to enjoy everything I had in high school. I wasn't good enough. But she was.
While I was attending events and carnivals, the wonderful girl stayed home and studied. The boy who liked her wasn't good enough.
A single phone call was what I had come up with after two years. We decided to go as a date. I was happy. But it was too late.
The distance between the wonderful girl I met more than two years ago and I was more than obvious. There were couples everywhere. We weren't together because I was too scared. I wasn't good enough. Although I had a good time that night, I came home feeling empty. I didn't do anything for that wonderful girl. I never inspired her. I never earned her trust. I never lived up to her expectations.
The final exams were over. That wonderful girl left for Vietnam. It didn't make a difference to me whether if she was gone or not. Why? I never saw her anyway. I was too pathetic.
The girl I met 3 years ago... She had enough of me. I wasted too much time. I couldn't face her in any way. There was nothing I could do for her that would make her happy. I couldn't talk to her because I was too scared. I couldn't look at her in the eyes because I was too ashamed. I didn't dare invite her to a small party because I thought she would look down on me. But she came.
I tried to treat her as a friend. I couldn't even do that. I left her alone, unattended. Why? I don't know why. It was probably my last chance to see her in a long time. But what did that matter? Wouldn't it make no difference since I don't see her anyway? When she had to go she politely thanked me. Did she really mean it? I didn't inspire her. I didn't impress her. I left her alone. She looked at me. I looked down and tried to smile. I would have hugged her, but I felt I wasn't good enough. I didn't deserve one. I deserved to be choked.
The wonderful girl I met 3 years ago... She was leaving for Orange. Leaving within days. I had no control. I waited too long. I wasted too much time. Hers and mine. Now she was leaving. The girl I met 3 years ago... finally floating away. A golden string waiting for me for 3 years. I was too scared to hold it. I let it go, and now it's gone. Why? Because I was too scared.
The wonderful girl I met 3 years ago came into my life and gave me an opportunity to experience something that will happen rarely for me. I feel so ashamed I can't even be a proper friend to her. I'm sorry for that. I feel so empty. It hurts me to know that she can't be around anymore. It makes me cry when I think of her now. The wonderful girl that brought so much happiness into my life is now out of my reach. My cowardice has turned the wonderful girl into a notion of torment. I'm sorry.
I love walking in the rain because no one can tell that I am crying. What do you do when the only person that can make you stop crying is the person that made you cry? I’m sorry.
