My boyfriend thinks I'm fat (3 Viewers)

[hbk_ace]

they're not all like that though!

i dont generalise, but im sayin there is a large portion.

but seriously, as an italian u should knowwher eim coming from, ure brother would be really protective of u (i would be to if i had a sister)

 

[Not-That-Bright]

well from what i'd heard.. they all seemed like that steph, i'm too scared to get into a family from any european country (excluding u kno... uk).
My italian ex has a friend who's Croatian... she gets treated like a 2nd wife (without the sex etc) by her father.. lol

While i'm sure they're all not like this, it was a pretty weird experience.

 

[steph@nie]

I understand the second wife thing, my mum's going away tomorrow and guess who gets to cook and clean and make lunches for a week! In all honesty, yes, some european fathers are strict but there's not as many as you think. Most european girls I know, don't have strict boundaries imposed on them by their fathers, me included but it just depends I guess.

hbk, my brother is 12 and I'm really protective of him, but I guess when he gets older then he will be attempting to be protective of me.

 

[hbk_ace]

its all good steph, every culture has its pros and cons,

 

[JayWalker]

im a size 10-12..but shortish, 160cm.
It hurts when he does it infront of his family, it feels like theyre disrespecting me.

Just too add, when he comes over my house and my family tells him to put on weight -- he laughs it off..its just different for a girl.

i dont understand why he would say this, we've been together for 2 years

a size 10-12?!?! Are you for REAL?!
Thats nothing, women are supposed to have curves.
I think he should accept you for who you are but I personally dont think that you are that 'fat' and i use that term lightly...

Just chill your fine!

 

[jumb]

Sorry for being a guy, but is size 10 big?

 

[glycerine]

no, most stores sell a 8-14 or 6-14 range going up in increments of 2. ie a 10 is a size bigger than an 8. a size 10 is not big unless you're like a midget.

 

[JayWalker]

Sorry for being a guy, but is size 10 big?

no probs, im a guy but most of my friends are female..

Size 10 is like, hmm, ok wait thats a hard question, Size 10 is like the size of the chick that does the channel 9 news... size 10 is fine!! Its good... trust me...

 

[Sickle]

Tell him you're not asian and to stfu

 

[kartie]

i think generally... a comment "oh you're so fat" is really unacceptable. Compare it to.. oh i don't know.. say "you have a small penis"
the weight and body size of a girl is an issue that is of no small proportion - guys know that to a lot of girls weight is an extremely sensitive issue
but then the whole girl getting upset is also one of those female idiosyncracies that can also cause issues so we avoid that as well.
Basically, if a guy is so much of a prick as to ignore the sensitivity associated with weight then i don't think that he's worth it.
a boyfriend that tells you that you're beautiful has a thousand benefits. Even if you know that he's not being 'entirely truthful', it still makes you feel better about yourself and raises your self confidence.
if a girl told you that your penis was a "little on the small side" - would you be a tad sensitive also?

 

[Not-That-Bright]

No, Not at all =/
and i think that would be a better comparison to a guy telling a chick her tits are a little too small than saying she's a bit overweight...

 

[kartie]

No, Not at all =/
and i think that would be a better comparison to a guy telling a chick her tits are a little too small than saying she's a bit overweight...

Hah! No no no no no
The breast thing - we can deal with. Besides, what guy would actually say that, if not in a joking sense? You can laugh that off, because there's nothing you can do to change or control the size

Weight is entirely different - a guy telling you that you need to "lose some weight" implies that he isn't happy with your efforts.
That immediately casts shame upon you as a person. Guys wonder why some girls are unable to eat properly in front of them, maybe embarrassed. Ever wonder why?

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I thought it was just because they couldn't compete with me in a pie eating competition... so they got scared of attempting to challenge me.

Nah i dunno... i think girls can be a little weird with the weight issue, as can guys with the penis size issue.. i don't think in either case it should be taken to heart, and if it is you should confront them.
The difference is tho... a girl going to a guy saying 'i dun like u calling me fat' will get a response (from a decent guy) of 'shit i'm sorry i didn't mean it' where as a girl would basically laugh off a guy saying 'u hurt my feelings dun call me names '

 

[kartie]

yeah i understand that.... but i think a fundamental difference between guys and girls.. and i know i'm probably going to get shot for saying this... but let's face it... its true... girls are more emotional and sensitive than guys.. its not a weakness but its genetics... i don't think responses are really comparable

 

[ogmzergrush]

That's pretty harsh, body image, regardless of gender, is a fairly touchy issue, and from someone who you're going out with you'd sort of expect a level of sensitivity and understanding (At least I would expect that, maybe others are different). It's really not something I'd be happy to put up with.

Personally I'd just point out to them that, even if their family think I'm overweight, I didn't want to hear about it, especially from them. I'd make it very clear that I'm offended by it, and point out that it's my body, and that at the end of the day, if I'm happy with it that's all that matters.

Failing that, I'd tell them to shut up or go back to having sex on their own. I'd hope that would make the point very clear.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

nah there's nothing genetic about emotions, although mothers generally are naturally more nuturing..

I think you'd find that men are about as emotionally sensitive as women.. however keep it bottled up because society has taught us we have to.
This might be one of the reasons why there are alot more male murderers, etc.

 

[ogmzergrush]

yeah i understand that.... but i think a fundamental difference between guys and girls.. and i know i'm probably going to get shot for saying this... but let's face it... its true... girls are more emotional and sensitive than guys.. its not a weakness but its genetics... i don't think responses are really comparable

That's because men don't have time for emotions while they're out killing animals to bring home for dinner.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I cried during babe

 

[kartie]

ah no... emotions are about the kinds of hormones that your body produces.... i cant be specific but women produce more hormones that affect moods... thus emotional state

 

[kartie]

I cried during babe

then there's hope!