Dr_Fresh
U MAD??
Okay so basically this is my summary of my experiences through 5 years of medicine. Its long, but I'm bored.
TLDR: med is interesting and not much different to what you see on Scrubs.
Year 1: You sit in tutorials and lectures for 25 hours a week contemplating why you even did this stupid course while your friends are enjoying their 12 contact hours a week half of which they don't go to anyway. The only cool thing you get to do is learn how to inject a rubber arm and dissect some cadavers twice a week. Also, just recently found out that formaldehyde is a known carcinogen. Good to know, since we were literally drenched in that shit for the most part of first and second year.
Probably the best part about first year was the rural placement where we go to a rural town with all expenses paid for. I had no idea what the point of this was, all we did was visit a few farms, pick some strawberries and sit around at night drinking. If this was their way of trying to get more doctors to go to rural areas after med school then they are flushing a lot of money down the toilet.
The end of year exams come and everyone freaks out. We get thrown into these exams called Objective Structured Clinical Examinations (OSCEs, pronounced oskies). Basically what happens is theres a series of rooms each with a particular scenario which can range from something like taking blood pressure (1st year stuff) to diagnosing Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. What happens is, you read a stem for 8 minutes, then have 8 minutes to take a History or Examine and then 2 minutes to present your findings to the examiner whose been observing you the whole time. Its all fun and all pretending to be a doctor until you get to one examiner whose a total faggot/bitch who says things like "are you sure about that?" or "is that your final answer?". I felt my own blood pressure rise in such times but as a medical student, you are pretty much at the bottom of the hierarchy so don't speak back.
Then theres the 120 question multiple choice exam which is just meh. Study hard during the 2 weeks of SWOTVAC and you wont have to sit supplementary exams unlike the other 120 out of 300 cohort (WTF Monash).
Year 2: Second year is renowned for being a bitch of a year. Pretty much the same as first year except change 25 hours a week to 30 and change 2 assignments to 12. Only exciting part was when we got our stethoscopes for the first time despite having no idea what to do with them. Theres also this thing called the Community Based Practice assignment which is one hell of a pain in the ass. You get sent off to a local nursing home, homeless shelter or primary school for disabled children once a week for the whole year. Pretty much it's aimed at making you are much more compassionate/caring person and further develop your communication skillz. Don't know if they achieved their objective.
End of the year comes and people freak out even more because this time we have an extra exam called the VIA (Vertically Integrated Assessment) which is basically the faculty's way of ramming a massive iron pole up your ass. All the anatomy, physiology, microbio, immunology, biochemistry, clinical skills etc etc that you were taught in years 1 and 2 get tested. Pretty much, if you sucked in first year, you were doomed to suck at this exam. Two weeks isn't enough to cram for 3 exams which were going to test 2 years worth of content. Pretty much the same people who sat supplementary exams in Year 1 were sitting them again in Year 2. Great system eh?
Year 3: This is where the real medicine begin and all 300 of us get split up into different hospitals in the metropolitan and rural areas. You stay at these hospitals for a whole year and are expected to learn from the doctors through following them on ward rounds and bedside tutorials as well as "self-directed learning", which is pretty much the faculty's way of saying: "if you fuck up, its not our problem. We told you to study".
A typical day usually involves waking up at 7am and getting ready for 8am ward rounds (or if you are on Gen Surg waking up at 5am for 6:30am ward rounds). Then you go have some coffee at 11am with your team and do whatever is planned on your timetable (operating theatre, chilling in the student common room, bedside tutorial or going home). There may be one or two tutorials or lectures a week but otherwise its pretty bludgey.
In terms of skills, you slowly learn how to use your stethoscope as well as performing heaps cool procedures like sticking a variety of needles into patients and sticking your finger up their bum at the end. I still have nightmares about patients who still had toilet paper stuck up their bum. Oh, another thing, they also give you this logbook which you are meant to record how many Histories, Examinations and procedures you have performed. Needless to say 3/4 of the cohort forged these cos they either keep forgetting their logbook or didn't want to do anything cos they thought it was gross.
The end of year exams are just a series of multiple choice questions. But pretty much all you had to do was stereotype. For example, if a man is homosexual he has HIV. You don't even need to read the rest of the stem. If the patient is an Asian immigrant, they have TB. What I have told you there will already earn you a 10/100 on the exam. Medicine isn't hard.
Year 4: My most hated year. Psychiatry, Paeds, OBGYN and General practice. What is there not to hate? Basically, you get given a logbook again, but this time its much more fun stuff they want you to do like Pap Smears (smelly vaginas are smelly) and delivering babies, which you have to compete with the midwifery students for (I gave way for the good looking ones). Paeds is good until you meet one kid whose a total brat and puts you off working with children forever. Also sticking needles into babies is not a pleasant experience. General practice: you've all been to GPs so you know exactly what its like. Have a cold? Go home and rest. Oh, you need a refill on your Lipitor, *prints script*, here it is. Pretty boring stuff.
Remember the metal pole the faculty rammed up your butt in year 2? The 4th year exams is pretty much the same thing, cept this time the pole is twice as thick and twice as long. Four days of examinations testing content from years 1-4. During this 2 week period you can lose anywhere from 5kg to 10kg. If you didn't know any better, you'd probably think you had cancer.
Year 5: Easiest year of my life. Just turn up to everything, attend a few interviews for internships, be on time and kiss lots of ass.
TLDR: med is interesting and not much different to what you see on Scrubs.
Year 1: You sit in tutorials and lectures for 25 hours a week contemplating why you even did this stupid course while your friends are enjoying their 12 contact hours a week half of which they don't go to anyway. The only cool thing you get to do is learn how to inject a rubber arm and dissect some cadavers twice a week. Also, just recently found out that formaldehyde is a known carcinogen. Good to know, since we were literally drenched in that shit for the most part of first and second year.
Probably the best part about first year was the rural placement where we go to a rural town with all expenses paid for. I had no idea what the point of this was, all we did was visit a few farms, pick some strawberries and sit around at night drinking. If this was their way of trying to get more doctors to go to rural areas after med school then they are flushing a lot of money down the toilet.
The end of year exams come and everyone freaks out. We get thrown into these exams called Objective Structured Clinical Examinations (OSCEs, pronounced oskies). Basically what happens is theres a series of rooms each with a particular scenario which can range from something like taking blood pressure (1st year stuff) to diagnosing Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. What happens is, you read a stem for 8 minutes, then have 8 minutes to take a History or Examine and then 2 minutes to present your findings to the examiner whose been observing you the whole time. Its all fun and all pretending to be a doctor until you get to one examiner whose a total faggot/bitch who says things like "are you sure about that?" or "is that your final answer?". I felt my own blood pressure rise in such times but as a medical student, you are pretty much at the bottom of the hierarchy so don't speak back.
Then theres the 120 question multiple choice exam which is just meh. Study hard during the 2 weeks of SWOTVAC and you wont have to sit supplementary exams unlike the other 120 out of 300 cohort (WTF Monash).
Year 2: Second year is renowned for being a bitch of a year. Pretty much the same as first year except change 25 hours a week to 30 and change 2 assignments to 12. Only exciting part was when we got our stethoscopes for the first time despite having no idea what to do with them. Theres also this thing called the Community Based Practice assignment which is one hell of a pain in the ass. You get sent off to a local nursing home, homeless shelter or primary school for disabled children once a week for the whole year. Pretty much it's aimed at making you are much more compassionate/caring person and further develop your communication skillz. Don't know if they achieved their objective.
End of the year comes and people freak out even more because this time we have an extra exam called the VIA (Vertically Integrated Assessment) which is basically the faculty's way of ramming a massive iron pole up your ass. All the anatomy, physiology, microbio, immunology, biochemistry, clinical skills etc etc that you were taught in years 1 and 2 get tested. Pretty much, if you sucked in first year, you were doomed to suck at this exam. Two weeks isn't enough to cram for 3 exams which were going to test 2 years worth of content. Pretty much the same people who sat supplementary exams in Year 1 were sitting them again in Year 2. Great system eh?
Year 3: This is where the real medicine begin and all 300 of us get split up into different hospitals in the metropolitan and rural areas. You stay at these hospitals for a whole year and are expected to learn from the doctors through following them on ward rounds and bedside tutorials as well as "self-directed learning", which is pretty much the faculty's way of saying: "if you fuck up, its not our problem. We told you to study".
A typical day usually involves waking up at 7am and getting ready for 8am ward rounds (or if you are on Gen Surg waking up at 5am for 6:30am ward rounds). Then you go have some coffee at 11am with your team and do whatever is planned on your timetable (operating theatre, chilling in the student common room, bedside tutorial or going home). There may be one or two tutorials or lectures a week but otherwise its pretty bludgey.
In terms of skills, you slowly learn how to use your stethoscope as well as performing heaps cool procedures like sticking a variety of needles into patients and sticking your finger up their bum at the end. I still have nightmares about patients who still had toilet paper stuck up their bum. Oh, another thing, they also give you this logbook which you are meant to record how many Histories, Examinations and procedures you have performed. Needless to say 3/4 of the cohort forged these cos they either keep forgetting their logbook or didn't want to do anything cos they thought it was gross.
The end of year exams are just a series of multiple choice questions. But pretty much all you had to do was stereotype. For example, if a man is homosexual he has HIV. You don't even need to read the rest of the stem. If the patient is an Asian immigrant, they have TB. What I have told you there will already earn you a 10/100 on the exam. Medicine isn't hard.
Year 4: My most hated year. Psychiatry, Paeds, OBGYN and General practice. What is there not to hate? Basically, you get given a logbook again, but this time its much more fun stuff they want you to do like Pap Smears (smelly vaginas are smelly) and delivering babies, which you have to compete with the midwifery students for (I gave way for the good looking ones). Paeds is good until you meet one kid whose a total brat and puts you off working with children forever. Also sticking needles into babies is not a pleasant experience. General practice: you've all been to GPs so you know exactly what its like. Have a cold? Go home and rest. Oh, you need a refill on your Lipitor, *prints script*, here it is. Pretty boring stuff.
Remember the metal pole the faculty rammed up your butt in year 2? The 4th year exams is pretty much the same thing, cept this time the pole is twice as thick and twice as long. Four days of examinations testing content from years 1-4. During this 2 week period you can lose anywhere from 5kg to 10kg. If you didn't know any better, you'd probably think you had cancer.
Year 5: Easiest year of my life. Just turn up to everything, attend a few interviews for internships, be on time and kiss lots of ass.
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