My mate had way too much swearing in his i think...he still got good marks but i think they just didn't pick his for art express cause of the swearing.
Make sure you have some unique camera work or something that is uniuqe to you but is still showing u understand conventions of cinematography. For example if your gonna change camera angles during a conversation between two people you cant suddenly have them on the opposite sides of the screen to which they were. Little things like that they will be picky about.
In terms of a script for film you can look at the past art express stuff that has got good marks and lets face it its usually got a pretty arty (wanky) theme to it in some way....maybe see if you can incorperate this arty wanky theme into a GOOD story hehe that way you mark good but you don't totally sell yourself out for marks........
and yes..... money is good.
IF YOU WANT GREAT COSTUME HIRE VISIT ABC COSTUME HIRE IN GORE HILL NEAR CHATSWOOD AND ARTARMON. Its about $90 to hire out entire theme costume with everything included lets say you hired out a WW2 costumn it would come with webbing boots, helmet, fatigues, ammo pouches, trecnh garters etc etc etc. Great deals. They use that place for most of the ABC series.