Lecturer Quotes (3 Viewers)

[pman]

This thread prob exist already but I've noticed it so WTF, I'll create one....basically the idea is to post funny quotes from lectures, tutors etc.

Our Differential Calculus lecturer: "and as everyone knows, you can't devide by two"

Our physics lecturer: "If the OH&S guys could see me now, they'd have a fit"

 

[Morbo]

"Nomemclature is not chemistry. Get a pet if you want to name something."
"Love is not forever but herpes is"

 

[russianROULETTE]

a girl walked in late (holding up the lecture) and sat down in a seat, then decided to move to another seat and when she sat down the lecturer goes: 'look she found a hot guy'

 

[17028354]

the accounting info for managers lecturer at UWS parramatta is quite amusing.

 

[terminator69]

the accounting info for managers lecturer at UWS parramatta is quite amusing.

Ok, I'll take your word for it.

 

[17028354]

Ok, I'll take your word for it.

really depends on your take on humour though.

where i found him mildly amusing, others didn't get it at all

 

[Trebla]

Financial Maths Lecturer with a big accent:
"Utility is measure of satisf-ic-ation"

Also, one of the things covered was "Farkas' lemma", can imagine how that sounded like with a big accent haha


Finance lecturer:
"Ex-dividend is like a woman giving birth. The dividend value becomes separated from the share price at a certain date much like the baby becomes separated out of its mother at a certain date"
(whole lecture room went rofl)


One of the Maths lecturers:
"If there is any justice in the world that should give you zero"

 

[57o1i]

From a law seminar:
"Has anyone here used cannabis? You can put your hands up, I promise I'm not recording answers."

 

[Gmac_0]

Management lecture:

* A select few walk out *

Lecturer: Anyone else want to leave?

* A few more people walk out *

* A dozen people walk out*


Management lecture:

Lecturer: Will people please stop talking!?
Lecturer: You sir, stop talking
Lecturer: Yes, you!
Lecturer: Don't look around as if it isn't you!
Lecturer: Its you - you with the glasses
Lecturer: Don't try and take them off, I know who you are.

 

[Raix]

^ Sounds like my accounting prac lecture. No one wants to go but she won't post the handouts online. I wouldn't mind going but because it's just to show you how to do problems, i'm better off listening at home at my own pace. Half the people leave after 15 minutes. I just come in early, grab the handout and walk out.

 

[Dr_Fresh]

Doing rounds at the Alfred with senior doctor.

"What is an anaesthetist? Someone who's half asleep in charge of someone who's half awake."

 

[russianROULETTE]

slide is a famous portait which includes a naked man with a tiny penis: "now i'm hearing a bit of laughter about the room, and i'm guessing it's because you've noticed he has a penis. it's not very big, because he's obviously on steroids and everyone knows they make you very small... don't pretend that's not what you're all laughing about!"

"it [the computer] is, i think the term, colloquially, is, 'buggered'"

this particular lecturer is amusing, which is lucky because the subject is pretty boring imo.

 

[meilz92]

psych lecturer...

"i dont smoke pot or crack... during the semester"

"mmm cocaine on toast"

"inside my id is like 'i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex i want sex' but my ego is saying 'no niko, you have to do this lecture... maybe after' "

hahha nutcase.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

the only one I remember off the top of my head was from a performance studies lecturer in second year
"
[talking about Performance versus performance]:

"So we have to define, you know, what is meant by big P-ness, as opposed to little p-ness"

you'd think we'd be mature adults but you'd be wrong

 

[xeuyrawp]

In the middle of a lecture where students were literally falling asleep:


'This.....
is....
so....
boring.'

*Walks out with no explanation*

 

[jet]

Research project supervisor talking about DNA in yeast:

"So this guy has around 350 ARSes, and around 50 of these are non-functional ARSes".

He said arses instead of A-R-Ses. We were all struggling not to burst out, and he was oblivious to it.

 

[Raix]

One of my lecturers looks like Mario/Borat which is amsuing enough in itself. He also keeps going on about how exciting Accounting is.

 

[sickk]

slide is a famous portait which includes a naked man with a tiny penis: "now i'm hearing a bit of laughter about the room, and i'm guessing it's because you've noticed he has a penis. it's not very big, because he's obviously on steroids and everyone knows they make you very small... don't pretend that's not what you're all laughing about!"

"it [the computer] is, i think the term, colloquially, is, 'buggered'"

this particular lecturer is amusing, which is lucky because the subject is pretty boring imo.

Wray-Bliss lol, hes awesome

 

[russianROULETTE]

Wray-Bliss lol, hes awesome

yeah him haha, i remember i looked at the slides for the first lecture and was like 'wtf is this shit, it's all about vampires? someone is a bit obsessed with twilight' but then i actually read them and realised it was an analogy, he has an interesting way of making his points

also find it funny that when someone leaves the lecture halfway through he watches them the entire way and says 'thanks for coming!' lol, i couldn't leave cause i'd feel guilty lol

 

[zehurricane]

"If you want a HD you give me your iphone" - Harry Tse in Microeconomic lect