Is this paragraph entirely awful? (1 Viewer)

[noturningback]

This paragraph relates to the text "Postcard" by Peter Skryznecki however it's not essential to understand the text in order to fully realize just how awful my writing is.

The city is personified throughout the poem to show how strongly the poet is confronted with the inevitable – that he cannot continue to ignore his heritage if he is to understand himself. An example of personification in the text is in the final stanza - “A lone tree whispers / we will meet / before you die” Firstly, the descriptive language of “lone” and “whispers” shows how personal an individual’s heritage is; it is a delicate and personal part of a person’s identity that has individual meaning. Secondly, the use of direct speech reinforces how strongly the poet is confronted by his curiosity and establishes heritage as a critically essential component to understanding personal identity. Finally, the use of personification shows how strong the emotive connection between Skryznecki and his homeland is. This shows us that belonging can be derived from objects that are symbolic of significant personal values.

I really am having alot of trouble with English, I just can't do it. Believe me I have tried. I have spent time doing 40 min timed practices however all i can write is other peoples ideas from which I have spent hours studying (i.e. sparknotes guides)

I don't normally come up with my own ideas, I've tried to with this paragraph however because English is so damned subjective I can't understand whether it's garbage or not.

 

[moshi.bum]

Hey, it's not entirely awful, but it's not perfect. I know you said you have a lot of trouble with english, but I think you need a bit more direction with your paragraph. It expresses general ideas that you might jot down as part of notes, but it doesn't really form an argument as such. Maybe try exploring how personal identity shapes one's sense of belonging, how belonging to self ultimately determines an individual's place, and finding specific examples of that in your text? [I'm not sure what your text is about but I think that's what it might be about]

 

[absorber]

More quotes, less rambling needed imo. It's not that bad, but as above post says, you'll need to argue in response to the questions you're given