If your girl or boyfriend wouldn't have sex... (1 Viewer)

[textbook]

would you break up with them? Think about it. A lot of relationships stay together because of sex. A lot of people break up because they have conflicting views. It's easy to say that you will stay with them no matter what, but in reality it doesn't seem to happen. Wanting to go to the same level of sexual things seems to be a big factor in whether people stay together.

 

[bscienceboi]

What if you were a no-sex-until-wedding person and so was your boyfriend or girlfriend.

 

[arooshika...]

would you break up with them? Think about it. A lot of relationships stay together because of sex. A lot of people break up because they have conflicting views. It's easy to say that you will stay with them no matter what, but in reality it doesn't seem to happen. Wanting to go to the same level of sexual things seems to be a big factor in whether people stay together.

no....but i really hate to say it, he probably would because he told me some stuff today that makes me believe these things but i'll see how it goes

 

[arooshika...]

What if you were a no-sex-until-wedding person and so was your boyfriend or girlfriend.

my family believes in this stuff, i dont, i'll do it when im ready

 

[textbook]

What if you were a no-sex-until-wedding person and so was your boyfriend or girlfriend.

That works because you both don't want to have sex. The problem, in my opinion, is when people want different things.

I have seen people break up over this many times. I don't think it is worth getting into a relationship with a person who doesn't want the same as you. I am wondering if this is true and if others think the same way. If a person came up who didn't want the same as you I think it would be hard to not give it a try but more often than not it doesn't seem to work.

 

[bscienceboi]

Its hard to say really.

If my partner didnt want sex, unless it was for a good reason I would understand and exclude it in our relationship. You can't base a relationship on pleasure alone, but no pleasure at all throughout the whole relationship...somethings got to give.

 

[arooshika...]

Its hard to say really.

If my partner didnt want sex, unless it was for a good reason I would understand and exclude it in our relationship. You can't base a relationship on pleasure alone, but no pleasure at all throughout the whole relationship...somethings got to give.

yeah i agree with u, there has got to be some sort of pleasure in a relationship otherwise it wont work

 

[ogmzergrush]

It'd depend on the timeframe involved. While sex isn't the only thing that's important to me in a relationship, or even the most important thing, it is definitely a factor. I wouldn't want to stay with someone who never, ever, wanted to have sex, because I think it's part of what I see as a normal, healthy relationship.

On the other hand, if it was short-term I really wouldn't be bothered. Being two different people, it's fairly obvious that you're not both going to always be up for it at the same time. I'd assume it'd be the same with most people in serious relationships.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

yes I would break up with them. sex is important. not the most important but still important.

there was this girl a couple of years ago who really liked me, and everyone though we should be going out but we didn't. the reason was because she wouldn't do anything physical. the foundation of a relationship is physical attraction and showing that physical attraction. it just doesn't work without it.

 

[arooshika...]

its understandable if there is no sex in a relationship if the person isnt ready but their must be at least some sexual activity otherwise the relationship wouldnt mean much

 

[soha]

no id be ok with them not wanting sex
makes life easy for me
coz im a no sex b4 marriage kind of girl

 

[azzie]

the foundation of a relationship is physical attraction and showing that physical attraction. it just doesn't work without it.

I don't think that physical attraction should be the basis for a relationship- people get older and less attractive, so eventually you'll have nothing in the relationship of any value when the attractiveness goes out the window.
However, I think it's an important point- I'm a very physical person and I like the whole kisses and cuddles... other stuff etc. I don't know that I would be completely happy in a relationship where I was forced to restrain that desire. I agree with the fact that you have to find your partner sexually and physically appealing, because sex is a big part of a relationship. Cosmo, Cleo and all those magazines spend as much time answering sex problems and telling people how to keep their sex lives fun and interesting as they do giving relationship advice.
I've come to think of sex as the physical form of saying "I love you" (as lame as it sounds) so I think it's quite important. If someone told me they loved me but didn't want to do anything physical, I would be worried.
I don't think it would work for me.

 

[alby]

I've come to think of sex as the physical form of saying "I love you" (as lame as it sounds)

it's not lame, but what do you count kisses and cuddles then?

as for me, i'm a physical person, but sex isnt the be all and end all of the relationship/my life. if you'd posed this question to me before my current relationship, i wouldnt've cared. currently i'd say i'd probably care, but not much. in reality, there's more to a relationship than sex. all those little things that make the relationship (the cute stuff, the attraction (not just physical), the time you spend together, etc) are more important to me than just fucking some guy, they determine whether or not i like him, not how good he is in bed.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

What kind of prick would you be to break up with someone because they're not ready for sex?

If they're not a virgin, but just don't want to have sex with you, and don't have a good reason, then it's more understandable, but good relationships are not based on sex. You can still have fun and enjoy each other's company with just kisses, hugs, talking, etc.

 

[ariande]

Hmmm.... I could handle kisses and cuddles only, depending on how long the relationship was... I desperately want children when I'm older, so I would not be able to handle not having sex with the man that I wanted to be with forever, not only because it would be frustrating and the physical closeness of the relationship would not be there, but I would have no chance to have children of my own.

I would also feel as if the guy was not attracted to me, which would be a hard thing to handle... Someone can go out with a person considered 'ugly' by society, but love makes them attractive in your eyes, so given that premise, and the fact that I don't necessarily think that I'm overly ugly, I would worry about the level of love between said guy and I.

Sex IS an important factor in relationships, we are biologically structured to want to have sex. As has been said before, it isn't the most important thing, but it is another way of showing your love.

 

[bubz :D]

i think a lot of people SAY that they'd be able to live without sex because they love the person, but really, you don't know. of course it all depends on the person etc (yes steph, i'm getting tired of saying that too!), and i'm definitely not saying sex is everything - but i'm a very affectionate person who can't live without hugs, kisses, and yes, sex. (once you pop, you can't stop )

like geoff (ogmzergrush), i also see sex as part of a healthy relationship. if i got into one, and the guy later said "sorry but i don't want to have sex, is that okay?"... it might be, for a while, but then the hormones would start kicking in, and i'd defintely have to discuss our relationship with him.

however, two of my best friends have been together for nearly two years - the girl's a devout christian, the guy isn't.. both are virgins and the girl won't go any further than kissing. no touching, nothing - and the guy respects her. which i think is lovely. it might be a different situation if he wasn't a virgin, though.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

I haven't had sex with my boyfriend in more than half a year because we never have time together as I'm doing the HSC, but neither of us is too bothered by it. Sure, we want it, but we wouldn't even fight over it, let alone break up. Our relationship is every bit as exciting now as when we used to have sex. I think because we don't spend that much time together, we're appreciating the small things more, looking forward to seeing each other, etc.

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

But would you consider breaking up with the nicest, sweetest girl on earth if she didn't want to have sex with you?

(alots of)guys are governed by their (dick)head

 

[iambored]

But would you consider breaking up with the nicest, sweetest guy on earth if he didn't want to have sex with you?

change your screen name

 

[bubz :D]

But would you consider breaking up with the nicest, sweetest guy on earth if he didn't want to have sex with you?

hmmm... if he was "the one", i would have to sit down with him and discuss WHY he doesn't want to have sex.


btw, this is OT - you go to de la salle? you wouldn't happen to know anyone in class of 02, would you? the love of my (primary school) life went there... though he probably dropped out before then lol