I don't know what to do (1 Viewer)

[flipsyde]

... I don't even know why I'm posting this... I guess its more to the fact that I want peoples opinions...I can'tlive in my house anymore. My parents constantly fight over everything, they always have but right now I'm at breaking point. Its gotten to the point where I cry myself to sleep every night. I turn my discman up loud and listen to it while I sleep, just to drain them out.... whats more is that its effecting me mentally.

Its effecting me to the point that this afternoon I had to beg my mother to stop and "offered her anything in the world that" she wanted, just so shed stop. In my head I'm elsewhere and its starting to effect me during the day now. At uni, people are starting to notice that I look tired and stressed... Im not tired,Im not stressed, I just feel really down all the time about it all the time.

The only person I feel that I can talk it over with is my boyfriend. But we'v only been dating almost 3 months now. The last thing I want to do is scare him off with all my problems. He's been there for me sooo much and I can't thank him enough. But I feel that coming to him too often I'm going to turn him off me and ultimately it will end the relationship... thats the last thing I want to happen and at the moment I cant deal with that.

I really need to move out of home, but I have no money and I'm already in debt to my dad for fixing my computer. I tried applying for youth allowance (knowing perfectly well that I cant actually live off the amount of money that they give you). I just dont know what to do and I feel so trapped. I try to stay out as late as I can so that I dont have to come home... but then theres assignments to worry about... like I said I dunno why Im posting this, I don't even know if it belongs here. I just really need a solution, because soon Ill end up having a breakdown. Any solutions please people Im desperate.

 

[Skeeta]

i agree. If you're at uni (and ur situation is dire) i know that you can get student loans in the meantime if money is the biggest issue

perhaps you can stay with your boyfriend for a week or so, just until things have calmed down a bit? I dont think i'm much help but i'm just trying

i <3 you :uhhuh:


edit: i just thought - you can always defer your studies for a semester and work full time, if you earn alot of money in this time (and scab a room off your b/f, friends and other family) you should be able to support yourself until YA comes through

 

[flipsyde]

awww I <3 you to skeeta hehe.

yeah thats not a bad idea, but I cant defer my studies, my folks are paying for it. They'd kill me but yeah perhaps I dunno I can find a second job? I could probalbly afford to stay at a friends house if I worked a 2nd job. I earn $90 pwk roughly and I spend about $50pwk at the moment juston getting to uniand supplies and such, but yeah perhaps I could scab a room.

 

[ur_inner_child]

I agree with Skeeta. Universities can give out loans, particularly for your situation. For usyd, there's a non-interest loan, and give your teachers an idea about it... helped me a lot when I moved out - just that theyre lenient on things. Like they wouldnt get angry if I hadnt bought that textbook yet.

Anyway, about moving out, i'd only suggest it if you feel you've tired out all possible alternatives, speaking to your mum and dad about how youre handling it all the way up to the point where its as though you are confident and definate about moving out? Whatever you feel is sufficient.

Also, do you feel they would react in an assertive way or a negative way about you moving out?

Some suburbs offer emergency temporary (even just one night) to long term government housing for adolescents in situations like yours (up to 21), making sure you guys maintain a job, etc. The rent is often very cheap, and bills are often paid for (but have limitations, eg you cant make outgoing calls). You can reside there, you'll be with other teenagers experiencing the same situation.

Have a look around on the net. Also, if you can't find anything, these organisations are often linked to Centrelink, so if you're stuck, call them up and organise a meeting with your local Welfare Officer. I've held meetings before with my nearby Centrelink office - about my domestic violence issues and grants and stuff.... theses Welfare Workers often know exactly who to speak to, as well as able to offer advice and options themselves.

I don't know how dire your situation is, but under centrelink, you can inquire about being classed as an "independent" so you can receive youth allowance (basically it means they dont count your parents assets and therefore counted as an individual). I went under the "Parents unable to forfil their responsibilities" though I'm not sure if you can.... Anywho, you might be able to qualify for something, but you often need proof. Which are the following:

1. Your personal statement of why you cannot live at home
2. Your family's/parent's statement.

If no. 2 cannot be accomplished, you then need whats called a 3rd party statement which needs to be a respectable person - eg Welfare teacher at school, counsellor at school, or a Welfare Worker (ones recommended by Centrelink).

I don't know if this info is valuable to you or not depending on your situation, but if you wanna talk about it a but more, add me on msn - stef__h@hotmail.com

 

[flipsyde]

I agree with Skeeta. Universities can give out loans, particularly for your situation. For usyd, there's a non-interest loan, and give your teachers an idea about it... helped me a lot when I moved out - just that theyre lenient on things. Like they wouldnt get angry if I hadnt bought that textbook yet.

Anyway, about moving out, i'd only suggest it if you feel you've tired out all possible alternatives, speaking to your mum and dad about how youre handling it all the way up to the point where its as though you are confident and definate about moving out? Whatever you feel is sufficient.

Also, do you feel they would react in an assertive way or a negative way about you moving out?

Some suburbs offer emergency temporary (even just one night) to long term government housing for adolescents in situations like yours (up to 21), making sure you guys maintain a job, etc. The rent is often very cheap, and bills are often paid for (but have limitations, eg you cant make outgoing calls). You can reside there, you'll be with other teenagers experiencing the same situation.

Have a look around on the net. Also, if you can't find anything, these organisations are often linked to Centrelink, so if you're stuck, call them up and organise a meeting with your local Welfare Officer. I've held meetings before with my nearby Centrelink office - about my domestic violence issues and grants and stuff.... theses Welfare Workers often know exactly who to speak to, as well as able to offer advice and options themselves.

I don't know how dire your situation is, but under centrelink, you can inquire about being classed as an "independent" so you can receive youth allowance (basically it means they dont count your parents assets and therefore counted as an individual). I went under the "Parents unable to forfil their responsibilities" though I'm not sure if you can.... Anywho, you might be able to qualify for something, but you often need proof. Which are the following:

1. Your personal statement of why you cannot live at home
2. Your family's/parent's statement.

If no. 2 cannot be accomplished, you then need whats called a 3rd party statement which needs to be a respectable person - eg Welfare teacher at school, counsellor at school, or a Welfare Worker (ones recommended by Centrelink).

I don't know if this info is valuable to you or not depending on your situation, but if you wanna talk about it a but more, add me on msn - stef__h@hotmail.com

Thanks stef this was veeery helpful <3

 

[grk_styl]

Stef's great

I just wanted to make one point.
You said that you were concerned about throwing too much on to your boyfriend. Hun, he's with you because he's made the decision to stick by you through thick and thin. If you feel comfortable talking to him, then go for it! He may have a good perspective on the situation. Don't feel scared to talk to him. Communication is the key in a succesful relationship

 

[ElGronko]

Calmly explain to your parents that their continued fights are not healthy, and do they really want to be with each other anymore? because if not, they should sort it out sooner rather than later.

my life got 2645028476502852x better when my parents split up.

 

[shaunbates]

you just tell your parents what your feeling. my parents wentthrough a divorce and i know what your talking about i know how hard it is but seriously just bit the bullet and tell then stop thinking up other harder soluations just do what you u have to do

 

[sweet_as]

Great advice guys

Flypside, all I can say is don't let the situation worsen, take the steps now to try and make it better for yourself. as the situation may get worse and just end up hurting you more.