HSC and Family Pressure/Expectations (1 Viewer)

[Hollieee]

Re: Pressure From Parents

Lol my parents say do the best you can, but every now and then mum slips in things like 'oh, so do you think you could be dux of the school?' and I'm like =|
Wow, no pressure, lol.
But it's kind of hard, they want me to do super well, but whenever I study, they seem to be asking me to do things? Like house chores and such.

BUT last night mum did offer to help me revise for my half yearlies (which aren't until 2 days after school goes back- way to spoil the holiday) which was nice.

=)

 

[nayyarv]

Re: Pressure From Parents

lol, im really lucky to have parents that dont intentionally pressure me

they do it without meaning to, like snide references to kids who have got like 99+ UAIs and scholarships. Otherwise they dont push me

not so for others in my school

one kid got tutored so much he finished the 4unit course in yr 11

another had to leave state level table tennis because of his parents

two kids currently doin 4 unit havent passed a maths exam since yr 8, got band 1s in SC maths and have got a top score of 14% in the 4unit exam

its irritating for others who dont get tutored as much (i.e. me) as these (tutored) kids know all of the next topics, and when they came in an exam, they got full marks when everyone else struggled.

its not fair

 

[foram]

Re: Pressure From Parents

lol, im really lucky to have parents that dont intentionally pressure me

they do it without meaning to, like snide references to kids who have got like 99+ UAIs and scholarships. Otherwise they dont push me

not so for others in my school

one kid got tutored so much he finished the 4unit course in yr 11

another had to leave state level table tennis because of his parents

two kids currently doin 4 unit havent passed a maths exam since yr 8, got band 1s in SC maths and have got a top score of 14% in the 4unit exam

its irritating for others who dont get tutored as much (i.e. me) as these (tutored) kids know all of the next topics, and when they came in an exam, they got full marks when everyone else struggled.

its not fair

Even if they get tutoring, they still have to study and do all the work. Tutoring is just having a person explain a topic to you. I don't think it means they struggle a lot less. All tutoring in Math does is let you learn faster and give you more time to revise later on.

 

[justanotherposter]

Re: Pressure From Parents

I guess pride is a major factor of Asian parents wanting their children to hold high status jobs. They just love comparing their children and they love having bragging rights. Well, that's my own experience and opinion.

very true, though they will never admit it. part of the pressure is for bragging rights, not just so the kids have a good life.

 

[Nasonex]

Re: Pressure From Parents

"Pressure? What pressure? Pressure is poor people in the world trying to feed their families. Working from dawn till dust just to feed their young. There is no pressure in football"

 

[risole91]

Re: Pressure From Parents

"Pressure? What pressure? Pressure is poor people in the world trying to feed their families. Working from dawn till dust just to feed their young. There is no pressure in football"

Pity theres no corellation between the HSC and FOOTBALL

 

[Cerry]

Re: Pressure From Parents

I guess pride is a major factor of Asian parents wanting their children to hold high status jobs. They just love comparing their children and they love having bragging rights. Well, that's my own experience and opinion.

Pffft...parents in general quite like to brag about their kids. And grandparents are even worse, cause they not only get you brag about their grandkids, but they can brag about what good parents their kids are at the same time.

yer - 70 is fine - especially in the sense you thought you failed the exam

by the by - what instrument do you play in music? singer? just curious

Yep, singer. And doing 4 performances, for some reason that is currently beyond my comprehension. My pieces have started haunting my dreams...

 

[ticky2002]

Re: Pressure From Parents

To be honest I'm hardly under any.

They used to try and amke me do stuff, and I just didn't.
[total procrastination problem]

Now they sort of see it that I have 6 months to go and probably won't do much.
I realise it's not the greatest but there are other ways.

Plus right now, all I want to do is go overseas and get a job, earn some cash and see what's in store.

They are fine with that.

 

[Dyne]

Re: Pressure From Parents

Man...

Some of your parents are INSANE. Seriously.

Maybe it's because I didn't make it to a selective school and thus haven't been exposed to Asian parent syndrome, but yeah . I do really well at school, and my parents trust me. And lately since I've been slacking off doing an assignment during the holidays they've been annoying me :O which gets a vicious response coz I'm just not used to them putting pressure on me .

But yeah, they let me go out mostly whenever I want and are pretty relaxed about me going to parties etc. And they spoil me a bit like that, so...



I guess they just want me to be well-rounded more than anything. And some parents (for their own reasons, culture etc) lose sight of that, I think ...

another had to leave state level table tennis because of his parents

I wasn't the only one who laughed... was I?

 

[ZaraKu]

Re: Pressure From Parents

My mum gets annoyed at me when I get 'N' warning letters home (I've had 1 for maths..) but apart from that she just wants me to come out with the marks I want.
Then there's my "friends" who call me a freak for deciding to ditch the parties and social stuff for things like PIP work and Musicology research, I mean have fun getting trashed like every weekend (which is practically what my friends do) but also have fun failing the HSC cause of it...

 

[Mind-Revolution]

Re: Pressure From Parents

my parents are too easy on me, i procrastinate waaay too much but my parents just assume ive got everything under control because i manage to get decent marks.. i wish they'd be more strict. but i dont want to ask them to be more strict, because then ill probably end up regreting it, LOL.

I am in a similar position. If I started failing, then maybe there would be pressure.

 

[BackCountrySnow]

Re: Pressure From Parents

my parents are too easy on me, i procrastinate waaay too much but my parents just assume ive got everything under control because i manage to get decent marks.. i wish they'd be more strict. but i dont want to ask them to be more strict, because then ill probably end up regreting it, LOL.

aaaaaaaaaaww

 

[jazzbaby]

Re: Pressure From Parents

my parents arent dont pressure me too much nowadays
they used to b4..and then i told them that them drilling it in my head that i should study more will make me not want to study
so they just stopped
and i study more now
haha

 

[Hollieee]

Parents+HSC

Probably been talked about before, but in need of a slight vent, so if you think I'm going to waste your time, I warn you- you probably shouldn't keep reading.

I was basically just wondering if anyone else's parents are unrealistic?
Expecting you to get a great UAI, which is not so bad, but then being completely unwilling to help you achieve it?
They don't seem to understand that we're stressed, and constantly nagging us about doing dishes doesn't actually help.
They seem to think concentration is easy to find, and that when I'm trying to study, it's alright to say 'COME FEED THE DOG!', and when I ask if I can do it in 10 minutes when I've finished my study period, they say no. It just messes my head up a bit.
And now that I've got my license, they're demanding (literally) that I drive everyone everywhere. Drop off my sister, drop of my mother, pick up my sister, go get my father. It doesn't seem to end. Apparently wanting to study and feeling stressed that it's taking time away from said study is 'selfish'.
Apparently it says a lot about my unhelpful, ungrateful attitude, and I can't actually see that.
So Mum puts me on the guilt trip, telling me don't worry, she won't go out, she'll stay home and pick everyone up.
So I buckle and say, look, you really should go, I'll pick everyone up, but please, try to give me some more warning next time so I can plan for it!
But no. She's refusing to go. Tries to force me to apologise, when I feel that it was her that was being unreasonable. I will never understand my parents' need for me to apologise, even when I don't mean it. Stupid. I think it cheapens genuine apologies.
Yells at me and tells me what a child I'm being.
I usually try to see things from their point of view, but sometimes they drive me crazy.
They expect so much, but don't seem to be willing to cut me some slack.
I'm trying to do the HSC for heaven's sake, and she seems to think it's a piece of cake. Like I just have to show up for exams and do well. Like there's no consistant effort involved.
And then she says 'Well what about those nights where you go out and hire movies with your sister!'- so I try to explain that those nights are factored in to my study plan, and I have control over what I'm doing when.
Maybe that's my problem, maybe I'm a control freak?
I just really am getting sick of people other than me fucking up my study habits.
It's bad enough when I do it, I tell you!


I'm quite sorry, I know this is a me me me me whinge thread, but I really needed to get it off my chest.
My sister doesn't come home from work for an hour, so I can't vent to her yet =)

 

[lyounamu]

Re: Pressure From Parents

I just had a massive argument with my mum (no violence involved, just to let you know ). It is just that my mum keeps saying I am not academically good enough. I am f****** sick of that. I gave her my report and I basically came first in all my subjects except two.

Instead of a nice comment, all she told me was "You are not good enough, you should study harder". My reaction was like "WTH!!!". My mum never gives nice little comment about my academic result. I worked so hard to get it and now she is saying is that I should work harder!!! I DO NOT RECALL my mum giving me a nice little comment about anything I do. My mum does not obviously understand how difficult it is to get the top rank in a school where competition is quite fierce. I would have actually cried if I was few years younger (I would never do that now).

On top of that, I do not even recall her helping me whenever I faced academic difficulties. She never cheered me up whenever I felt down. She made it even worse by saying how dumb I am. I am just glad that my dad is not like my mum. At least, he cheers me up and supports me whenever I feel down.

I am sorry if I sounded as if I was just complaining my personal problem. I just had to do it.

All I wanted was a bit of compliment...

 

[tommykins]

Re: Pressure From Parents

I just had a massive argument with my mum (no violence involved, just to let you know ). It is just that my mum keeps saying I am not academically good enough. I am f****** sick of that. I gave her my report and I basically came first in all my subjects except two.

Instead of a nice comment, all she told me was "You are not good enough, you should study harder". My reaction was like "WTH!!!". My mum never gives nice little comment about my academic result. I worked so hard to get it and now she is saying is that I should work harder!!! I DO NOT RECALL my mum giving me a nice little comment about anything I do. My mum does not obviously understand how difficult it is to get the top rank in a school where competition is quite fierce. I would have actually cried if I was few years younger (I would never do that now).

On top of that, I do not even recall her helping me whenever I faced academic difficulties. She never cheered me up whenever I felt down. She made it even worse by saying how dumb I am. I am just glad that my dad is not like my mum. At least, he cheers me up and supports me whenever I feel down.

I am sorry if I sounded as if I was just complaining my personal problem. I just had to do it.

All I wanted was a bit of compliment...

Question if you don't mind - are you the "smartest" out of your family friends? If so, then your mum is just plain crazy.

My mum is abit like that, she talks about 100% in every exam cause "it's do-able" and does not care about rank despite last year me coming 30th, 56th/64, 60th/66 for Maths, Chemistry and Physics respectively and now me being 6th, 15th and 18th respectively. My dad however - believes that I know what I'm doing, and knows that being the best is more or less impossible unless I throw away other things that are more useful than a few higher ranks.

My advice to you is - ignore what they say, just do your own thing - I'd even suggest that if you do achieve a highly respectable UAI (which I'm sure you will) - be the grown up and don't rub it in their face (although if I was in your situation, I'd do it because I'm an asshole).

Sooner or later, your mother will realise that you are grown up, able to make your own decisions, and realise that studying =/= successful life.

 

[lyounamu]

Re: Pressure From Parents

Question if you don't mind - are you the "smartest" out of your family friends? If so, then your mum is just plain crazy.

My mum is abit like that, she talks about 100% in every exam cause "it's do-able" and does not care about rank despite last year me coming 30th, 56th/64, 60th/66 for Maths, Chemistry and Physics respectively and now me being 6th, 15th and 18th respectively. My dad however - believes that I know what I'm doing, and knows that being the best is more or less impossible unless I throw away other things that are more useful than a few higher ranks.

My advice to you is - ignore what they say, just do your own thing - I'd even suggest that if you do achieve a highly respectable UAI (which I'm sure you will) - be the grown up and don't rub it in their face (although if I was in your situation, I'd do it because I'm an asshole).

Sooner or later, your mother will realise that you are grown up, able to make your own decisions, and realise that studying =/= successful life.

Well, yeah. But whenever I say that all she says is that there are always people who are smarter than me (which is obviously true). She is basically telling me to achieve the impossible (i.e. coming top in the state or something of that sort).

By the way, I really appreciate your comment. I think I feel much better inside.

 

[lolcal]

Re: Pressure From Parents

lyounamu, no offense, but your mum is being a bitch.

just ignore her, you're fucking amazingly smart and her uninformed opinion is irrelevant, it sounds like she has absolutely no idea how the system here works, this isn't korea.

we love you lyounamu!

 

[lyounamu]

Re: Pressure From Parents

lyounamu, no offense, but your mum is being a bitch.

just ignore her, you're fucking amazingly smart and her uninformed opinion is irrelevant, it sounds like she has absolutely no idea how the system here works, this isn't korea.

we love you lyounamu!

I reckon you are right. She needs to understand that things don't work like that in Australia.

 

[aussiechick007]

Re: Pressure From Parents

hollieee, i feel exactly the same as that alot... not going to explai further cos i eating doritos lol