TacoTerrorist
Member
Follow these simple rules and you can pick up any chick you want, guaranteed*:
1) You must have a really, really stupid haircut. It has to be either flat, short at the top with the ends sticking down your face (preferably black) or the whole thing all stuck up in oblique angles.
This is a very, very important rule. The chicks are into guys with dumbass haircuts that shun masculinity and individuality.
2) Second rule, you have to wear ridiculously tight, possibly intentionally ripped jeans so as to give the impression that you have chicken legs. This MUST be accompanied by a light blue or pink shirt preferably with some gay pattern on it. This is crucial.
3) Now that you're all dressed up like a metrosexual (the chicks are into this) you have to listen to terrible R&B music. No good music, nothing that implies that the artist you're listening to has talent. To accentuate this, play it really loud and obnoxiously on the bus, preferably the same crappy song over and over again.
4) No personality. Throw away your sharp wit (if you have one, unlikely since you're on this forum) and adopt an incredibly mundane, boring personality that every dumbass teen like you has. You have to like the same music that everyone else does, not have an opinion on anything even mildly intellectual, and you can only talk to chicks about crappy movies and Family Guy reruns; as well as your (mundane) opinion on various hiphop 'artists'.
5) Loiter around your nearest city being obnoxious. You have to hang around the same dump, in a public area, play your killer music repetitively and talk about meaningless crap loudly. However, do not draw any attention to yourself that could imply that you are a free thinker. Chicks DO NOT RESPECT INDIVIDUALISM. You must be like everyone else, all the time.
6) Always hang around McDonald's, purchasing happy meals and sometimes a small coke. Shout out to your dumbass pimply friend 'working' at the back.
These are the main points you must address if you want to pick up chicks in any contemporary Australian environment. Every teenager is doing this, why not you?
*Chicks must be bogans (97% of them are mindless drones, so go for it)
1) You must have a really, really stupid haircut. It has to be either flat, short at the top with the ends sticking down your face (preferably black) or the whole thing all stuck up in oblique angles.
This is a very, very important rule. The chicks are into guys with dumbass haircuts that shun masculinity and individuality.
2) Second rule, you have to wear ridiculously tight, possibly intentionally ripped jeans so as to give the impression that you have chicken legs. This MUST be accompanied by a light blue or pink shirt preferably with some gay pattern on it. This is crucial.
3) Now that you're all dressed up like a metrosexual (the chicks are into this) you have to listen to terrible R&B music. No good music, nothing that implies that the artist you're listening to has talent. To accentuate this, play it really loud and obnoxiously on the bus, preferably the same crappy song over and over again.
4) No personality. Throw away your sharp wit (if you have one, unlikely since you're on this forum) and adopt an incredibly mundane, boring personality that every dumbass teen like you has. You have to like the same music that everyone else does, not have an opinion on anything even mildly intellectual, and you can only talk to chicks about crappy movies and Family Guy reruns; as well as your (mundane) opinion on various hiphop 'artists'.
5) Loiter around your nearest city being obnoxious. You have to hang around the same dump, in a public area, play your killer music repetitively and talk about meaningless crap loudly. However, do not draw any attention to yourself that could imply that you are a free thinker. Chicks DO NOT RESPECT INDIVIDUALISM. You must be like everyone else, all the time.
6) Always hang around McDonald's, purchasing happy meals and sometimes a small coke. Shout out to your dumbass pimply friend 'working' at the back.
These are the main points you must address if you want to pick up chicks in any contemporary Australian environment. Every teenager is doing this, why not you?
*Chicks must be bogans (97% of them are mindless drones, so go for it)
