$hiftyIceQueen
Banned
damn ...thats alot
congrats ? lol
congrats ? lol
Out of their tiny moinds -
Couch life Age, The (Melbourne, Australia)
May 5, 2007
Author: Catherine Deveny
Home and Away is a bigger threat to our culture than Osama bin Laden will ever be
YOU'D THINK THAT 1.3 million Australians couldn't be wrong. They can. I know because I've just watched three episodes of Home and Away. Remember what I said about McLeod's Daughters? Well, multiply that by six hundred billion. Forget the War on Terror; it's time for the War on Home and Away. The biggest threat to the fibre of our society, the lives of our children and the decimation of our culture is not Osama bin Laden or George Bush; it's this televisual atrocity.
Where do I start? I can finish the line "You know we belong together" with "You and I together forever". How is it possible for me, and you, to know all the words to the Home And Away theme song without watching one single episode? I blame the government.
The cast members' level of attractiveness is in inverse proportion to their acting ability. But it's not that these young folk can't act that I find alarming. It's that they can barely string two words together. Through the 67 excruciating minutes I kept feeling as if I was watching a sketch comedy parody of a really bad Australian soap, without the jokes.
The first episode opens with big drama at Summer Bay. Rape? Murder? International espionage? No. Someone has stolen two bottles of Scotch from the surf club. Then it's all, "Shut up Cassie", "Why would you want to hang around with a low life like me?" and "This isn't about Macca any more," (FLICKS HAIR. WALKS OFF. GOES TO BEACH. SITS ON ROCKS. LOOKS ENIGMATIC.)
I was extremely distressed that in three episodes I did not once hear Alf Stewart say "flaming mongrels". But he was in a constant state of exasperation, shaking his head and sucking air through his teeth. Irene is the character who really worries me. The rough diamond with a heart of gold speaks fluent Aussie cliche: "Fair dinkum. How anyone could be so stupid considerin' how much grievin' this town has been goin' through is beyond me", and "What the flipping 'eck is goin' on? Are you out of your tiny moind?" Sure we need to hear Australian voices on our screens but that Australian voice?
It is impossible for Home and Away to dumb down the viewers because anyone who watches this show must be brain dead already.
"Dickheads By The Sea" is Australian content. But that doesn't explain why it is seen in more than 50 countries. It reminds me of that old Billy Crystal gag: Abe walks in to find his best friend Sol having sex with his wife. Abe says, "Sol. I have to. But you?' "
Neighbours has produced stars such as Kylie Minogue, Guy Pearce and Russell Crowe. Home and Away? Bec Cartwright.
I would rather saw off my children's limbs than let them watch this offensive insult to even the biggest moron. And if you think that I'm being too hard, tune in. But don't blame me if you end up punching a hole in the television or calling Amnesty International to report an abuse of human rights.
Home and Away, Monday to Friday Channel Seven, 7pm.
at least were above the knights heba$hiftyIceQueen said:yay for Tasha...i used to drie soo slowly..now im killing it lol my mum, keeps holding on to the door
<3 the av
Roosters are shitter than shit