ugly ex: well he didnt look that good physically (and now i cringe at how ugly he was). personality-wise, he was sweet/semi-romantic to start off with, but then i saw the millions of problems he had & found out that he was a druggo. the icing on the cake was when he started to try and make me jealous because he was talking to this other chick heaps and having fun with her.
basically he just got progressively worse (or i just saw the 'real' him), and he became ugly to me...we also had next to nothing in common, but i didnt realise that until close to the end. its like the opposite of the personality making them appear hot to you.
*yooneek* said:
lesson no1: communication :duh:!
lesson no2: make sure they know where you are at
lesson no3:don't let nerves get the best of you
lesson no4:do NOT rush into things
lesson no5: ensure you have a strong friendship foundation.
lesson no6: listen to mums advice ((in my cases shes been right every single time... but i guess everyones different))
#1 - very important. not just talking about random crap (though that can keep you interested, even if you dont really know what they're on about), but more importantly talking about what stuff means a lot to you, feelings, what you want in your relationship (and working out how to get that, or actually finding out what you want)
#2 - make sure they know where you're at, but more importantly make sure YOU know where you're at. dont let the lovey-dovey blind you from realising/remembering how you're feeling in the relationship
#3 - true
#4&5 - very true...i've learnt these the hard way. having a relationship based purely on the lovey-dovey-ness is something many of us do at least once or twice when we're first starting out, and letting yourself believe that this fairytale romantice is true is the worst thing you can do - it blinds you from what's really happening and just prolongs a relationship that isnt going anywhere.
personally, none of my relationships have had a strong friendship beforehand. from this experience, i can tell you that unless you try to
start building a friendship (or build on to what you had before) towards the start of the relationship, you're not really going to have anything much to keep you together once you get over the 'puppy love' beginning.
#6 - unless mum knows more/as much as you do about your partner/relationship, she's not really going to be someone you want to listen to that much. truthfuly, not many people want to take mum's advice about simple everyday stuff let alone about their relationship
