88 reasons you know you're chinese
1. You look like you are 18.
>2. You like to eat chicken feet.
>3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
>4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
>5. You sing Karaoke.
>6. Your house is covered with tile.
>7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
>8. Your stove is covered with aluminium foil.
>9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
>10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
>11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
>12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
>13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
>14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
>15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
>16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
>17. You love to use coupons.
>18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
>19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
>20. You take showers at night.
>21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
>22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
>23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
>24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
>25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
>26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is
>uncomfortable.
>27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
>28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the
>paper.
>29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50%
>off.
>30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
>31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why
>you need the vinyl tablecloth).
>32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
>33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
>34. You have never used your dishwasher.
>35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
>36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
>37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
>38. You have a piano in your living room
>39. You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your
>mouth).
>40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
>41. You hate to waste food.
>42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or
>one leftover chicken wing.
>43. You don't own any real Tupperware only a cupboard full of used
>but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam
>jars.
>44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
>45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take
>every time you stay in a hotel.
>46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel
>means > > > >any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are
>always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
>47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
>48. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
>49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small
>toys.
>50. You don't use measuring cups.
>51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
>52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
>53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since
>calling information costs 50 cents.
>54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
>55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are
>female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
>56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
>57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
>58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
>59. Shaolin actually mean something to you.
>50. You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
>61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
>62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
>63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if
>you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
>64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods
>or baked goods due to yeet hay.
>65. You know what yeet hay is.
>66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10
>feet apart.
>67. You use a face cloth.
>68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
>69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewellery or
>electronics.
>70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never
>going to use them again.
>71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
>72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
>73. You know what moon cakes are.
>74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and
>store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who
>has moved out.
>75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
>76. You iron your own shirts.
>77. You play a musical instrument.
>78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to
>throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
>79. You've eaten a red bean popsicle.
>80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you
>visit people's homes.
>81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
>82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or
>law.
>83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they
>prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live
>in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same
>neighbourhood.
>84. You don't tip more than 0% at a restaurant, and if you do, you
>tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
>85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
>86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the
>last piece of food on the table.
>87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
>88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese
>friends.