With Creative Writing pieces what the markers/readers want you to do is show them not tell them. I know i have been told this repeatedly but it took me ages to get a hang of it. What it means instead of saying the girl is crying and tell us the girl is sad show us. Talk about her surroundings and use Pathetic fallacy, a technique used in writing which basically means that the weather reflects the mood of the story. Make sure everything points towards the fact that she's sad, but don't make it obvious, making the reader think about it makes them more involved and interested in your story and that's what you need.
In any writing piece you NEED to know your characters by the back of your hand, it helps formulate the story plot.
An example of this can be: (not the best but it's an example)
She no longer stood straight, her shoulders slouched forward as if a weight was baring down on her that she could no longer hold, as soon as those around her moved their focus onto something more interesting her eyes dropped, her beat up converses becoming the center of her attention as her long messy hair spilled in front of her face protecting her from the world outside. The world outside.. the big bad world. Her mother always told her it was dangerous, don't do this, don't do that, you'll get hurt.
When her head raised again the harsh wind slapped her hair from her pale face, the smile that once sat there was gone, replaced by a small decline of her lips, her eyebrows were pulled together as she frowned; as unpleasant thought rolling through her mind.
I know it's not all about the face but it's an example to show you how to add stuff in instead of just saying it, and never say things like tears ran down her cheeks like a waterfall it's so over used the marker will cry from anger when they read it. Getting back on track the way i mentioned messy hair and beat up converses could hint that the girl is unkempt, her family may not be able to support her financially like the other girls and so she wears worn down shoes and doesn't have a mother there to comb her hair as she's always working to support the family. Just little hints like that can mean a lot in writing.
If you need anymore help just message me!