Can you be friends with an Ex? (1 Viewer)

[smegger_em]

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and we were talking the other night about where we are now. I asked him what he thought things would be like as friends and he said 'not much different from now.' And so far they have been, we talk, hug and even flirt just the same as before, only now there is a certain akwardness, and of course no sex.

BUT i am still completley in love with him, so if things are going to be the same, hanging out, talking to each other, its seems like we would still be in a relationship, just we'd both be incredibly sexually frustrated

So how do we become friends? Is there more in between the 'friend' and 'boyfriend' gap then just sex?

I'm not really asking for a solution to my problem, i was just wondering what peopel thought was the difference between friendship and love is and if anyone has managed to become good friends with an ex

 

[Not-That-Bright]

No you honestly can't.
Trust me i was in a situation exactly like this just with a girl, she broke up with me.. kept flirting, hell there was no difference except she'd never say she loved me and was keeping her options open.

I've never managed to become a good friend with her from this, even tho we were before. Just as she was manipulating me, your boyfriend is manipulating you and it's really sad.

 

[smegger_em]

he says he still loves me and that he hates hurting me like this...

damn maybe your right

i'm still tempted to try though... but maybe thats becuase i'm pathetic and still want him back

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Yea it is because u're pathetic and still want him back... trust me that's the sorta thing that happens.
And even if you realise i'm right it will take u ages to actually start taking actions upon what you know is right. I hope u dun get too upset over it, all i can say is my advice is not to listen to most of the crap he says.

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

meh .. gal as much as u dun want to believe either of us..
u want him.. cos he rejected u.. its tough but ure prolly realli nice and hes got issues.. but u got to spend time apart.. ull never be friends with him till u clear ure head..

sorri i kno it sounds harsh.. but ive gone thru it.. ive dumped and felt shit about it.. and ive been dumped too..
best thing is to meet new ppl ... enjoy the summer.. set a goal not to tlak to them.. dun avoid them.. but talk appropriately and watch ure feelings.. cos ure goin to get real hurt otherwise..

 

[azzie]

thats what i thought when my bf and i broke up.... then we stayed friends... and now im just confused again
get him out of your life for a few months, tell him you have to have time to move on, and that then you will get back to him
its pretty much the only way to do it

 

[Yarg]

has anybody ever been best friends, gone out, broken up, and stayed best friends?

 

[aj_number_10]

has anybody ever been best friends, gone out, broken up, and stayed best friends?

i have...
accept the whole staying best freinds thing

 

[_Amie_]

has anybody ever been best friends, gone out, broken up, and stayed best friends?

Yeah, it can work...I'm so grateful that it has, because i can't imagine my life without him. If you're that close, then you can overcome the awkwardness, sexual tension etc. because you're just happy being in each other's lives at all. But it might not work for everyone, I don't know.

 

[SKA]

My boyfriend recently broke up with me and we were talking the other night about where we are now. I asked him what he thought things would be like as friends and he said 'not much different from now.' And so far they have been, we talk, hug and even flirt just the same as before, only now there is a certain akwardness, and of course no sex.

BUT i am still completley in love with him, so if things are going to be the same, hanging out, talking to each other, its seems like we would still be in a relationship, just we'd both be incredibly sexually frustrated

So how do we become friends? Is there more in between the 'friend' and 'boyfriend' gap then just sex?

I'm not really asking for a solution to my problem, i was just wondering what peopel thought was the difference between friendship and love is and if anyone has managed to become good friends with an ex

ive been in that position before and we ended up getting back together. Ummm well im in that position now and i dont think we will be back together. Ive been talking to him and if you just tlak to him but without the mushy stuff and the sex talk it helps.. but if you really really want to get over him you have to sweat it out... i dont know how im going to do that..see i know whats best for me but i dont want to do it and im sure its the same with you too. fuk im going to miss him

 

[GSTARRAW]

me n my ex broke up about 2months ago over stupid shit such as fighting, it was hell confusing from there on, i tried to get back with her so much that i got to the point where i was abusive and told her where to go blah blah until she cried... thankfully that shit is all over now and we're workin towards a betta relationship :d but the bottom line is if you break up with someone you really care about, being friends isn't an option, you just can't!

 

[Yarg]

i just wished she felt the same... that the relationship wouldnt be threatened by us going out... pity.

 

[smegger_em]

hmm.. i guess untill i actually WANT to get over him, i'm not going to get over him. and i guess that untill i get over him we won't be 'friends'

it is wierd though, we were friends for about a month before we got together, but the whole time was flirting and building towards a relationship, so i don't even know HOW to be friends with him.

we are in different cities over the summer, which i guess is good because i don't see him all the time, but bad becuase it means i obsess over him, and think about what he is doing, if he is thinking about me etc

i'd still be interested to know if anyone had any theories on whether there is more the just sex and the physical aspect of the relationship that seperates being best friends and being together

 

[azzie]

"out of friendship, there can come love. but out of love, never friendship"
theres some truth to that saying

 

[KeypadSDM]

"out of friendship, there can come love. but out of love, never friendship"
theres some truth to that saying

There's "Some Truth" to most sayings. In most cases, this is true, but there's always exceptions.

 

[virgin^sexy]

friendships have never worked out for me

 

[SKA]

a friend of mine told me about one of his ex gf's .. he said they broke up because eventually they became more like frends instead of bf and gf and to this day they are frends. But i guess they didnt really have an intention to break up.
hmmm difficult. Ive always tryed being frends with my ex but never worked and i know its not gonna work this time eitha. you have to WANT to move on.. just give yourself time, once you realise there is no hope then you will WANT to move on, because you will be hurting too much to stay where you are.

 

[azzie]

There's "Some Truth" to most sayings. In most cases, this is true, but there's always exceptions.

yeeeah
well have a whinge, i was just trying to help!

 

[Newbie]

it hardly ever works

 

[Cactus]

we talk, hug and even flirt just the same as before, only now there is a certain akwardness, and of course no sex.

BUT i am still completley in love with him, so if things are going to be the same, hanging out, talking to each other, its seems like we would still be in a relationship, just we'd both be incredibly sexually frustrated

it won't work out. i know from experience