Can friends influence the way you feel about your partner? (1 Viewer)

[fishfingerz]

Okay so the question is: you only recently started going out with someone and you don't know if they 'fully' like you yet. What you do know, or from what I can tell, is that her friends obviously hate you, like they always look and talk to you as if you are rubbish or something. So what do you do? Will her stupid friends change the way she feels or should you try and befriend them? Has this ever happened to any of youse? Like, where you tried to convince your friend to ditch someone they like, and it actually worked? Or have you been in a situation where your partners friends think your a piece of shit?

 

[latvia]

Sometimes, projected hate arises from suppressed sexual desire.

Who knows, they might secretly want you sexually.

 

[fishfingerz]

lol i doubt it. most of them have bfs of their own. and im pretty sure they all hate me. even the not so good looking ones.

 

[latvia]

Well, if your date cared about what her friends said about you (presuming it wasn't something "good"), why would she have gone out with you in the first place?

Also, if what others say about you affects her feelings towards you so easily,
are you sure she is the right girl for you?

 

[Phoenix Fury]

Do you have any idea as to why they would dislike you?

 

[Yo1anda]

her friends wont change

and they dont have to like you and you dont have to like them

be civil/respectful and thats it

im pretty sure theres some mates of yours she wouldnt get along with

 

[thongetsu]

Yeah, probs cos he is a tool.

 

[fishfingerz]

Also, if what others say about you affects her feelings towards you so easily,
are you sure she is the right girl for you?

Well that's the dilemma. i have no clue what they are saying to her about me, behind my back. just trying to see a way past this, putting effort into this thing wont help if some bitches try to sabotage all your hard work.

 

[Yo1anda]

tell her you would rather she didnt talk about you to them unless you did something wrong and she needed advice, in which case she should be talking to you first anyway

seriously though, girls shouldnt tell their friends about relationships because 99% of "friends" are bitches and will try to sabotage shit anyway they can

 

[latvia]

Well that's the dilemma. i have no clue what they are saying to her about me, behind my back. just trying to see a way past this, putting effort into this thing wont help if some bitches try to sabotage all your hard work.

Hmm..why not try talking to her friends? Or try getting to know them first?
Sometimes a glance means nothing. I've had a guy friend telling me how a girl friend of mine "hated" him because she "stared" at him coldly. But then, she did not hate him at all. She probably just looked cold because she didn't know him, and was a bit shy.

 

[fishfingerz]

Hmm..why not try talking to her friends? Or try getting to know them first?
Sometimes a glance means nothing. I've had a guy friend telling me how a girl friend of mine "hated" him because she "stared" at him coldly. But then, she did not hate him at all. She probably just looked cold because she didn't know him, and was a bit shy.

yeah that could be it. but this ain't just about looks. you can sense their hatred by their tone of voice, and the fact that they wouldn't sit anywhere near me when i was at her place.

 

[fishfingerz]

lol why? could that be a factor?

 

[Yo1anda]

yeah that could be it. but this ain't just about looks. you can sense their hatred by their tone of voice, and the fact that they wouldn't sit anywhere near me when i was at her place.

they sound so bitchy

do they have nice boyfriends? is it possible they're jealous?

is it possible they've heard something bad about you through other people?

have you ever hurt your girlfriend badly or pissed her off enough that she could have bitched to them about it and they havent gotten over it?

 

[Yo1anda]

lol why? could that be a factor?

yeah if youre not the same ethnicity as most of them it could be

 

[steph xx]

some friends get really protective if they think their friend is dating a douche. i've seen it happen before. of course, it is never anything obvious, also subtle, sly remarks which fly under the radar.

i've seen girls break up with their boyfriends over it and others lose friends. however, this isn't always the outcome; some simply tell their friends to shut up and date happily, the friends staying out of the relationship.

my advice to you would be to friendly and approachable; this may not change their minds instantly but it is a good start. be civil and polite.
however, if they're complete and utter bitches to you
then its free for all
imo

 

[Dirtbag Fashion]

my friends can be really abrasive and so can i

so we don't know each others girlfriends

 

[MissSquiggly]

seriously though, girls shouldnt tell their friends about relationships because 99% of "friends" are bitches and will try to sabotage shit anyway they can

THIS. Explains everything!!!

 

[JustDance]

since everything affects way we see the world, I'd say yes to this one too...