Breaking up just before both of our formals… (2 Viewers)

[heshiyun]

If you still love her why are you breaking up?

EDIT: I immediately though it was soul searcher, but now I think its some unkown asian boser with 1 or 2 posts.

don't really have a good reason (as outlined in my inital post)...

"the apprentice" summed up my situation with the words: "he wants to break up with his gf for no reason"

that's about it...if you really REALLY need to get a reason out of me...like you won't be able to go to bed tonight without one...here goes:

1, i miss being single...not having to sync my life with hers...
2, i'm bored. great sex...money etc will not fix that...

I am not asian (though i think it would be really cool if i was...culture...a big family network...lucy lui...a small penis...being asian would be great!)

Heshiyun

 

[Azamakumar]

lol searching forum for posters with excessive use of periods.

 

[Tulipa]

* I am going to break up with my girlfriend. We have a fantastic relationship, the kinda realationship that drives two people to get married/sttel down/have kids.
* Nothing is wrong. This is completely out of the blue. She will be hurt. This will cut very deeply. But it’s something that I just have to do.

I don't get it. Why break up with her? Do you still love her? If not, then fair enough.

* When is the best time to break up with someone…after a fun day full of activities, doing stuff you love, having fun etc. Or totally out of the blue, “we need to talk…can you meet me at …”

There is no good time. Except doing it as soon as possible. She WILL ask you how long you've been thinking about this. Also, don't have a great day then bring it all down. Next time you see her, if you've already planned a date then great, just bring it up first thing. Don't say "We need to talk.", say "I want to break up."

* Would you be pissed, understanding or upset if this was our relationship atm, and I‘d just broke up with you?

Pissed. Annoyed. Utterly confused. I'd need HUGE explanations.

* Should I hint at it…just begin to fight over things I don’t even care about…so that she might at least see the end coming…or in the hope that when the break up does come…it’s a little easier to take…I don’t know, fake arguments, ignore her etc (sad)

That will lead to a bad post break up relationship. Don't play games, just fucking do it.

* Will her friends start to ignore me…I’m not talking about the friends we’ve made together, that I talk to often etc…I mean the friends I’ve made, that happen to be her close friends :S

Probably for a bit. Depends on them. They'll side with her, be confident of that fact.

* From personal exp, can two people who were best friends, but pretty ordinary lovers, return to best friendship?

Dear God, a whole world of fuck no.

 

[Member232135]

1. When is the best time to break up with someone…after a fun day full of activities, doing stuff you love, having fun etc. Or totally out of the blue, “we need to talk…can you meet me at …”

Hm alright heres the thing dude, no matter how you do it- she's still going to be hurt. So my suggestion is to just tell her straight out, dont make her think you're going out for a full day where she reaffirms the reasons why she loves u etc.

2. would you be pissed, understanding or upset if this was our relationship atm, and I‘d just broke up with you?

ahh manlove... probally all three at different stages.

3. Should I hint at it…just begin to fight over things I don’t even care about…so that she might at least see the end coming…or in the hope that when the break up does come…it’s a little easier to take…I don’t know, fake arguments, ignore her etc (sad)

Yeah, if you want her to move on faster its a good idea to argue with her alot towards the end... try make her hate you if u care about her to that extent. Then again she could be into the boyfriends that treat their girlfriends like shit and keep going back to them.

4. Will her friends start to ignore me…I’m not talking about the friends we’ve made together, that I talk to often etc…I mean the friends I’ve made, that happen to be her close friends :S

Yes. most will deem what you have done to their best friend to be horrible out of the loyalty they have towards their friend. Get used to that with relationships. Dumpage= loss of their friends

5. Should I let her know that I still love her (even though I’m breaking up with her…) ? Or is that the complete opposite from what she want’s to hear at breakup…

Of course thats what she wants to hear, but it goes against everything that you've tried to accomplish. It further complicates things, and you've said you want to stay friends, and saying that may tell her that she still has a chance and cause a long obsession... seen it.

6. From personal exp, can two people who were best friends, but pretty ordinary lovers, return to best friendship?

Depends how much time has passed. It will most probally never be the same again. Ok overkill, it may be in a while when shes fully over you. But before then you run the risk of her just wanting you back but in the subtle best friend way.


And btw, be prepared in a month for the friends with benefits question to arise if she thinks that will get you back if she still isnt over you.

Goodluck matey.

 

[Enteebee]

And btw, be prepared in a month for the friends with benefits question to arise if she thinks that will get you back if she still isnt over you.

kewl, i want to break up with some chick.

 

[Member232135]

lol we've all been there.

 

[heshiyun]

I don't get it. Why break up with her? Do you still love her? If not, then fair enough.



There is no good time. Except doing it as soon as possible. She WILL ask you how long you've been thinking about this. Also, don't have a great day then bring it all down. Next time you see her, if you've already planned a date then great, just bring it up first thing. Don't say "We need to talk.", say "I want to break up."



Pissed. Annoyed. Utterly confused. I'd need HUGE explanations.



That will lead to a bad post break up relationship. Don't play games, just fucking do it.



Probably for a bit. Depends on them. They'll side with her, be confident of that fact.



Dear God, a whole world of fuck no.

I still love her. As best friends I loved her. We thought that by becoming bf/gf we coud...take that love even further, become more in love? But for me, it was a let down, I think we were just better off as best friends. I've talked to her about this. She...thinks not

I don't tink now would be the best time, as we're both studying for HSC. It might affect her study...but if enough people think that I should do it sonner rather than later...I will.

I don't have a great explanation...this is the one major thing holding me back. I know that she'll want to know why. She will ask how long i've been thinking about it. I will tell her: a long time. She'll want a HUGE explanation, you are right. I don't have one.

Yes, i didn't think i could fake an arguyment anyway.

I don't want to risk it. I'm considering making more time for her friends pre-break up.

"Dear God, a whole world of fuck no" - i dont' want to lose our friendship though.

Heshi

 

[Tulipa]

"Dear God, a whole world of fuck no" - i dont' want to lose our friendship though.

Too bad, this whole situation will make you an utter asshole to her. You might not be but that's how it's going to play out.

Also, for fucks sake the HSC is not the be all and end all. Real life is harder. Get used to it.

I don't want to risk it. I'm considering making more time for her friends pre-break up.

Which means what?

 

[tussitussa]

1. I think you are actually a girl, pretending to be a guy because you don't want to get xxxposed.
2. You still love her, but you are bored of her.
3. When the day she stops loving you arrives, you can be friends again.
4. If you really want minimise her pain, it is best to break up asap. Otherwise, it's all for your own benefit. The reason you can't decide when you break up with her is because you are considering the best path for yourself rather than for her.

 

[heshiyun]

Too bad, this whole situation will make you an utter asshole to her. You might not be but that's how it's going to play out.

Also, for fucks sake the HSC is not the be all and end all. Real life is harder. Get used to it.



Which means what?

fanx for the honesty. i can imagine next year is going to be one fucked up year of change.

What does it mean...? There are friends we have made together. I don't worry about losing them...it's not going to happen. But it's the friends who are her really close friends (who she introduced me to and now we're kinda friends)who i worry about.

Our friendship with those people is kinda like.... talk on msn/on the phone..see them every couple of weeks etc.

not the kinda relationship like: talk to them everyday...go out on the weekend etc. but that's not to say that i don't care about losing them.

I still want to remain friends with them. So i'm thinking about like geting closer to them, doing stuff with them everytime they invite me (instead of atm just saying "sorry can't. busy with HSC), orgainising things to do with them etc.

And that's it. hope it explains things a bit better

Heshi

 

[original123]

Depends what sort of girl she is. If she's generally an understanding person, then she won't be too angry. However I should warn you, PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION if you know what's good for you.If her friends think or see that you've upset her by breaking up with her, they WILL crush you like a twig. I do actually mean that lol sorry.However remember if she really does believe you have reasons for your decision she'll respect you for them. Just remember to sound sincere and totally honest when you break the news to her.Again I warn you of her friends and of proceeding with caution. Think of her as a bug repellent can (hehehe so corny)...if you can't control the content the can WILL eventually come into your eyes. The cans are usually also extremely flammable.Anywho I'm going to stop here before my corniness wanders off even more =D

 

[Tulipa]

Well, you are a naive idiot.

So good luck.

They're her friends. Getting an "in" with them isn't going to remedy anything. They're still going to side with her.

 

[heshiyun]

1. I think you are actually a girl, pretending to be a guy because you don't want to get xxxposed.
2. You still love her, but you are bored of her.
3. When the day she stops loving you arrives, you can be friends again.
4. If you really want minimise her pain, it is best to break up asap. Otherwise, it's all for your own benefit. The reason you can't decide when you break up with her is because you are considering the best path for yourself rather than for her.

1. And what makes you say that ? I would LOVE to be xxxposed...XXXPOSE ME
2. True. True. Thank you
3. ---
4. ---

Heshi

 

[Retrovertigo]

I regret reading this thread.

 

[heshiyun]

Depends what sort of girl she is. If she's generally an understanding person, then she won't be too angry. However I should warn you, PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION if you know what's good for you.If her friends think or see that you've upset her by breaking up with her, they WILL crush you like a twig

lol....you make girls sound so evil! HaHaHaHa, but yes - i can imagine

Well, you are a naive idiot.

So good luck.

They're her friends. Getting an "in" with them isn't going to remedy anything. They're still going to side with her.

thanks for your luck!

yeah. I hand't thought about it that way...the reason I thought it might work: i've been talking to friends who are always in and out of realtionships. I asked "do you stay in contact with the friends you have made thru her..?" Most said yes. But, we're all young...still in school..things are different. The people i'm talking about, you still see on the train, live close to etc

i'm not making any sense...i need a drink

Heshi

 

[seedoubleyou]

Finally, (warning, women please skip the preceding paragraph and proceed to the paragraph marked “(X.)”…as the following lines contain EXPLICIT language…),

tbqh, you should spend more time studying english and getting simple prefixes right then making fake accounts and worrying about if someones gonna find out its you and then POST YOUR NAME ALL OVER THE INTERWEBS!"

...seriously, if she doesnt see it coming, she'll hate you and think your a complete f***wit.

especially if you tell her the same bs reasons your posting here ("i miss single life", "i dont want to sync my life with yours" etc.)

There is nothing that you can do will prevent her hating you if the situation stays the same when you break up with her as it is now. (i.e. relationship is going well, then you end it suddenly.)

 

[heshiyun]

tbqh, you should spend more time studying english and getting simple prefixes right then making fake accounts and worrying about if someones gonna find out its you and then POST YOUR NAME ALL OVER THE INTERWEBS!"

...seriously, if she doesnt see it coming, she'll hate you and think your a complete f***wit.

especially if you tell her the same bs reasons your posting here ("i miss single life", "i dont want to sync my life with yours" etc.)

There is nothing that you can do will prevent her hating you if the situation stays the same when you break up with her as it is now. (i.e. relationship is going well, then you end it suddenly.)

Thanks seedoubleyou, it's this kind of honesty (which I havn't been able to get from my friends) that is the reason I’ve started this thread...

"especially if you tell her the same bs reasons your posting here ("i miss single life", "i dont want to sync my life with yours" etc"

BS reasons indeed...but don't you ever miss being single seedoubleyou? Haven’t you gotten into a relationship, only to find it was a complete let down? And of course I’m not going to say "hey, listen...i don’t want to sync my life with yours". I'm not a complete jerk, i will try to spare her as much heart ache as possible (unfortunately I don't know how –yet-).

It is my great hope then, that this thread gives me some direction, i don't know...hopefully people will share their experiences with me, tell me what made theirs a good break or a bad break up...let me know exactly what people don't want to hear when being broken up with –or- what people would have liked their partners to say instead of what actually happened...

“tbqh”

That’s a really great abbreviation! Thanks, I’m going to start using that!

“should spend more time studying English”

Yes, I really need to pull up my socks and get stuck into my English…paper one and two are coming

Heshiyun

 

[Enduro]

I am pretty sure I know whom you are not too sound like a dickhead or anything I might chuck it too her, oh yeah by the way if you discussed that you thought you were better as best friends she must see this coming AND I just think you are bored of her, it happens..

 

[pattii]

tl;dr

 

[heshiyun]

I am pretty sure I know whom you are not too sound like a dickhead or anything I might chuck it too her, oh yeah by the way if you discussed that you thought you were better as best friends she must see this coming AND I just think you are bored of her, it happens..

Enduro,

yeah, i figured it was only a matter of time before someone i know found out about this thread.

Now don't be a dickhead and go tell her...help me out!

Heshiyun