Blowing out the candle (1 Viewer)

[hbk_ace]

this is bitter poem section lol,

 

[Jase]

okay i wrote a new poem today when i was just about to cut my wrist because im just so bitter at life... .it's like i spilt orange juice on my favourite jeans and now im going to commit suicide... okay ..

DEAR WORLD
I HATE YOU
moo moo
kangaroo
*angsty screaming*
poo poo
*insert angst*
ill never love again
pikachu i choose you
*angst*
*mutter something in german*

the end.

 

[~~Jess~~]

ok this is not poetry but when i was at carols in the domain some guy tried to blow out my candle heaps! but didnt...but then i laughed it out

 

[gronkboyslim]

Unrequited feelings for you is driving me insane,
but its crystal clear u dont even give a damn.
First time i saw you my heart danced,
god damit what well make u understand.

Put myself up to take the bullet,
I even set up to sing you a ballot.
The trigger you pulled pierced it into pieces,
made it shatter and brake, like tears rolling down faces.

Pretend like everything is all good?
Just stomped on all the broken bits.
You superficial bitch, all u really want is wood.
But my feelings for you are still dimly lit.

How cold it is of u to flirt when im there,
after knowing its something i could not bare.
You were the world and more,
but now your nothing but a whore.

i might be jealous, i might be down
but it will no longer have me Fuckn frown.
Tonight i blow out this dimly lit candle,
You just lost the guy that would hold up ure cradle.

fukn loser.

 

[django_]

gronk!!!!!

 

[gronkboyslim]

you got rejected. so what if she flirts with other guys, maybe theyre better than yo sorry ass.

everyone is selfish, they only do what pleases them.
end of story .

sookie baby

 

[django_]

so u saying this shit pleases u?

 

[hbk_ace]

so u saying this shit pleases u?

hahaha

yes gronk, yes,
do u know how to read poems and understand metaphors?
at the end it says blowing out the candle, hence meaning the above was a process leading up to the getting over the unrequited love.

ps, my ass isnt sorrie, its Cut. And i am sure better then the random guy she was chatting up, and that includes my ass

 

[django_]

yeh u tell him!! gronk is exactly that, a gronk. ass wipe. the poem is good leave hbk_ace alone!

 

[hbk_ace]

thank ouy for the support in this hard hard time. sniff sniff....hahaha yea right, over wat happend oready, but thanks for all the support here and constructive replies

 

[Kronkite]

*group orgy... i mean hug*

 

[hbk_ace]

right,

Tearing up my heart when im with you,
but when we are apart i feel it too,
and no matter what i do , i feel the pain
with or without you.

GO Nsync, barstard JT stoped their album that should be out now.

 

[petemuse]

chillax dude, that was pretty good poem.

but if she dont like you then its too bad, it might be slack the way you see it, i know how you feel.
in the end if its not ment to be then its not ment to be, you will find someone better that like you back, isnt that better?

 

[spell check]

Unrequited feelings for you is driving me insane,
but its crystal clear u dont even give a damn.
First time i saw you my heart danced,
god damit what well make u understand.

Put myself up to take the bullet,
I even set up to sing you a ballot.
The trigger you pulled pierced it into pieces,
made it shatter and brake, like tears rolling down faces.

Pretend like everything is all good?
Just stomped on all the broken bits.
You superficial bitch, all u really want is wood.
But my feelings for you are still dimly lit.

How cold it is of u to flirt when im there,
after knowing its something i could not bare.
You were the world and more,
but now your nothing but a whore.

i might be jealous, i might be down
but it will no longer have me Fuckn frown.
Tonight i blow out this dimly lit candle,
You just lost the guy that would hold up ure cradle.

bit of constructive criticism

just because this is actually a poem and should make sense

"Unrequited feelings for you are driving me insane

"I even set up to sing you a ballot" you mean ballad?

can't be fucked with the rest

 

[petemuse]

owned!!!! LOL

 

[hbk_ace]

there i changed it, haha still rhymes with it been ballad.

but why would it be "are" spell check u smart ass hahaha
unrequited is used as descruption, adjective (is that a description?? me no speak english), and not a past tense so using "is" is ok right?

 

[spell check]

there i changed it, haha still rhymes with it been ballad.

but why would it be "are" spell check u smart ass hahaha
unrequited is used as descruption, adjective (is that a description?? me no speak english), and not a past tense so using "is" is ok right?

because you said "feelings" - plural. so using "is" is not right

don't question me