Best EVER Sporting Quotes (2 Viewers)

[Cape]

"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

"And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it's Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit, and Damon Hill in the pit, no it's Michael Schumacher!"

"We're watching Ralf Schumacher... son, of course of double world champion Michael Schumacher..... er, the brother of Michael Schumacher...."

"The two McLaren drivers are so hot they look like 2 fried lobsters in silver suits"

hahaha ... those ones were a crack up argo!!!! I miss Murray

1 light, 2 lights, 3 lights. You know what comes next dont you........ GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[shortygb]

No-one, not even the likes of Richies Benaud, comes close to the legendary Murray Walker:

"...and there's no damage to the car.....except to the car itself."

"The beak of Ayrton Senna's chicken is pulling ahead"

Murray: "And there are flames coming from the back of Prost's car as he enters the swimming pool."
James: "Well, that should put them out then."

"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

"And Damon Hill is coming into the pit lane, yes it's Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit, and Damon Hill in the pit, no it's Michael Schumacher!"

"...and now, just in case there is any CONFUSION (operative term here) this is the race order on lap 19: David Coulthard leads and has yet to stop; Hakkinen leads and has yet to stop..."

"The atmosphere is so tense you could cut it with a cricket stump"

"And Senna wins the 1999 Monaco Grand Prix" [from the 1990 Monaco GP]

"And that's Alboreto OFF!" [long pause - somber voice] "Now Michele Alboreto did not in fact qualify for the race, so how we managed to see him go off I don't know. We'll let you know."

"Rene Arnoux is coming into the pits ... lets stop the startwatch"

"And the first three cars are all Escorts, which isn't surprising as this is an all Escort race

"I should imagine that the conditions in the cockpit are unimaginable!"

"We're watching Ralf Schumacher... son, of course of double world champion Michael Schumacher..... er, the brother of Michael Schumacher...."

"And here is Gabriele Tarquini in 3rd place who has already driven for 31 Formula One Grand Prix teams.... Ahum.... I don't know if we've have that many but i'm sure that if we did so Gabriele didn't drive for all of them!!!"

"The thought of, um... er Nigel, twinkle twinkle little star, makes the mind boggle."

"David Coulthard in his nun's outfit"

"The two McLaren drivers are so hot they look like 2 fried lobsters in silver suits"

yep murray walker takes the cake.

i cant remeber who said it during an f1 race but i heard one when a mclaren had smoke coming out the back and the commentator said "i think its fair to say thats engine related" anyone know who said that?

 

[lachlan43]

Walker also said:

"The car in front is unique, except the one behind it which is identical."

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."

"Just under 10 seconds for Mansell, call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers."
Other great quotes:

A brainscan revealed Andy Caddick is not suffering a stress fracture of the shin - Jo Sheldon

To win a major sober is unbelievable - John Daly

We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought - Sir Bobby Robson

I'll never be a greyhound - Merv Hughes

We actually got the winner three minutes from the end, but then they equalised - Ian McNail

Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious - Alan Minter

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father - Greg Norman

Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan who turned 20 a few weeks ago - David Coleman

Watch the time, it gives you an indication of how fast they are running - Ron Pickering

I'm not willing to say I'd die for my team, but I'd be willing to go into an extended coma - Laurie Daley

I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad I won rather than lost - Frank Bruno

I've never had knee surgery on any other part of my body - Winston Bennett

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball - John Francombe

The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, absolutely round. - Tony Cozier

Lara's chanced his arm, and it's come off! - Brian Johnston

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel - Stuart Pearce

If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again - Terry Venables

Those are all from the same sports quiz book.

A few greats from QPR boss Ian Holloway:

"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled."

"Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks she's not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi."

"There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth."

"Right now, everything is going wrong for me. If I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."

"Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark."

Those are from Shoot Magazine July 2005

 

[RedTommo]

My god, I honestly can't believe Football's greatest ever quote (perhaps alongside A couple of those Holloway gems ) is yet to receive any attention:

"Some people believe football is a matter of life and death-I am very dissapointed with that attitude. I can assure you it's much, much more important than that."
-Bill Shankly

 

[HeCtic]

My god, I honestly can't believe Football's greatest ever quote (perhaps alongside A couple of those Holloway gems ) is yet to receive any attention:

"Some people believe football is a matter of life and death-I am very dissapointed with that attitude. I can assure you it's much, much more important than that."
-Bill Shankly

If you ever lose someone close to you, you'll realise how full of shit that quote is.

 

[RUB!X]

ohh i miss murray ... those are some classics, thumbs up argonaut ...

 

[blackfriday]

"The Australian fielders have spent more time on the ground than Shane Warne's underpants." by the one and only kerry o'keefe

 

[LiL_JeN_JeN]

Yogi Berra (baseball coach) said......

"This is like deja vu all over again."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"He must have made that before he died."
-- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.

"I want to thank you for making this day necessary." --
On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.

"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it."
-- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."

"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."

"It was impossible to get a conversation going;
everybody was talking too much."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

"Nobody goes there anymore;
it's too crowded."

"It gets late early out there."
-- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.

Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."

"Do you mean now?"
-- When asked for the time.

"The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running."

"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."

"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

"90% of the putts that are short don't go in."

"I made a wrong mistake."

"Texas has a lot of electrical votes."
-- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.

"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself."
-- After being told he looked cool.

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."

"Yeah, but we're making great time!"
-- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."

"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."

"It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."

"How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name."
-- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."

"I'd say he's done more than that."
-- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.

"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."

"He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light."
-- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.

"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"

"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

"You should always go to other people's funerals;
otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

 

[johnny_87]

I know some of these have been posted but I'm nto exactly going to remove every single one.

They're all by good old Murray


“And now Laffite is as close to Surer as Surer is to Laffite!”

“There’s nothing wrong with the car except it’s on fire!”

“With half the race gone, there is still half to go.”

“I imagine the conditions in those cars are totally unimaginable!”

“Tambay’s hopes, which were previously nil, are absolutely zero!”

“Either that car is stationary or it’s on the move.”

“There’s no doubt that in y mind that if the race had lasted for 46 laps instead of 45 it would have been a McLaren first and second but it didn’t so it wasn’t.”

“You can’t see the digital clock on your monitors because there isn’t one.”

“Keith Ripp’s in trouble – REAL trouble!” (a masterpiece of understatement. Keith’s Rallycross Mini was rolling end over end, disintegrating as it did so)

“It’s raining and the track is wet!”

“We’re now on the 73rd lap and the next one will be the 74th.”

“This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines and not just up, but down as well.”

Murray: “And there are flames coming from the back of Prost’s car as he enters the swimming pool!”
James Hunt: “Well, that should put them out then!”
(Prost was entering the swimming pool section at Monaco)

“The gap between the two cars is 0.9 seconds – that’s less than a second.”

“He’s in front of everybody in this race except for the two in front of him.”

“Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one.”

“He’s obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can’t see it.”

“Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna’s car sounding a bit rough?”

“I can’t imagine what kind of a problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem.”

“What a fabulous race! Barry Sheene’s riding his Suzuki as though he’s married to it!”

“Only ten of the drivers who started this race are left. I make no apologies for their absence, I’m sorry they’re not here.”

“Prost can see Mansell in his earphones!”

“I’ve just stopped my startwatch.’

“And we’ve had 5 races so far this year – Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco.

The first four cars are both on the same tyres.”

“That was exactly the same place where Senna overtook Nannini that he didn’t overtake Prost.”

“And this is the third-placed car about to lap the second-placed car.”

“The battle is well and truly on if it wasn’t on before, and it certainly was.”

“Two laps to go, then the action will begin. Unless THIS is the action, which it is.”

“And there’s a dry line emerging in the tunnel.”
(Wet patches had developed in the tunnel at Monaco after a chip pan fire in the hotel overhead activated the sprinklers)

“And it’s Mansell, Mansell, Mansell, Nigel Mansell!” (It was Alain Prost in an identical Ferrari)

Murray: “There’s a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari!”
James Hunt: “No Murray, that’s his rear safety light.”

“Damon hill is coming into pit lane, yes it’s Damon Hill coming into the Williams pit – no it’s Schumacher.”

Murray: “Bernie, it’s been some 17 years since you bought McLaren. You’ve had some good times and some bad. What do you remember best?”
Bernie: “I don’t remember buying McLaren!” (It was Brabham)

“Piet Dam wins as he looks through a completely clear windscreen which is, of course, the advantage of being in front.” (As Murray said this, Dam drove straight into a grass bank)

“Let’s watch this typical Formula Ford start.” (It was anything but. They all drove into each other)

“It is clear at this stage of the race that Nigel Mansell is NOT going to make a pit-stop.” (Of course he did)

“Here comes the gallant little Frenchman Alain Prost, almost home for his 6th GP win – nothing can stop him now!” (As Murray said this, Prost hit a wet patch, spun into the barrier, lost a wheel and retired)

“It’s a sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montreal for today’s Grand Prix.”

“The young Ralf Schumacher has been upstaged by teenager Jenson Button who is 20.”

Andrea de Cesaris, the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without winning one.” (Murray thinks he meant to say COMPETED in more Grands Prix)

“Unless I’m very much mistaken…!”

“GO! GO! GO!”

“Spin! Spin! Spin!”

“Fire! Fire! Fire!” (Good things obviously come in threes)

“The atmosphere is so tense you could cut it with a cricket stump!”

“And now the boot is on the other Schumacher!”

“Anything can happen in Formula 1 – and it usually does!”

If Mika Hakkinen’s going to do well he needs to pull his great big woolly Finnish socks up.”

IF – that’s F1 spelt backwards.”

“There’s only a second between them. “ONE”. That’s how long a second is!”

“He’s shedding buckets of adrenalin in that car.”

“And I’ve got to stop now because I’ve got a lump in my throat.” (When Damon Hill crossed the line at Suzuka in 96 to win the race and WDC)