Being Single - How to get a boyfriend?? (1 Viewer)

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

thats the problem.

were all too comfortable with it.

the children of the next few generations are going to look up to this generation and this is not good benchmark behaviour.

go to a gay website. not a school based forum.

Oh my God, would you and ViRtUaL just shut up already. Go be all sheltered and intolerant of homosexuality somewhere else, like in your own head.

 

[bazookajoe]

thats the problem.

were all too comfortable with it.

the children of the next few generations are going to look up to this generation and this is not good benchmark behaviour.

go to a gay website. not a school based forum.

What's the big deal with it?
Are people so misinformed that they think homosexuality is some form of disease and is inappropriate? The only problems surrounding homosexuality are ones that have arisen by those who do not accept it in society (aside from STDs)

 

[Tulipa]

um...lets see.
they cant get married in aus. they cant have children. their parents will nevert have grandchildren. they're discriminated against in jobs and pay, although i do not condone this, it does happen. they get bashed at school lol. and much more.

Exactly, all problems that will go away when people accept it more in society. They could be able to adopt, get married, be seen as equal etc if we accept everyone as they are.

Which is what will happen by promoting homosexuality as normal.

So basically your argument is void.

(Yes, lol, this is all very hilarious)

 

[Ennaybur]

even if they adopt, they'll never be their own children.
but yes, i admit, if they were accepted their life wud be less difficult. but they never will be accepted to that extent because ppl will always inherently feel that it's not normal, no matter how much the govt promotes acceptance and tolerance. ppl will always feel deep down that theres something distinctly abnormal about men getting together. call it personal moral standards or watever.

I don't. A fuck load of people don't find anything wrong with it at all. You've just been socialised to see it as wrong and need to overcome that.

Bringing up a child makes it your own as much as accidently knocking up a girl and never contributing to the child's development.

 

[Tulipa]

even if they adopt, they'll never be their own children.
but yes, i admit, if they were accepted their life wud be less difficult. but they never will be accepted to that extent because ppl will always inherently feel that it's not normal, no matter how much the govt promotes acceptance and tolerance. ppl will always feel deep down that theres something distinctly abnormal about men getting together. call it personal moral standards or watever.

Well obviously it sounds like you're the one with the problem. You may tolerate it but man you're a closet homophobe.

This is a big societal issue, if people are raised to believe it's acceptable then it will be. It might take a long time but I mean for fucks sake, it's still difficult to be a woman in the workforce but are we going to give up altogether? No, because there's nothing wrong with it and people should learn to accept it.

Also, that was nice about the adoption thing. Think about all the kids who are adopted the whole world over by heterosexual couples and you say that they're not really accepted as children? You're spinning this to make it seem that only homosexuals are wrong.

 

[kami]

even if they adopt, they'll never be their own children.
but yes, i admit, if they were accepted their life wud be less difficult. but they never will be accepted to that extent because ppl will always inherently feel that it's not normal, no matter how much the govt promotes acceptance and tolerance. ppl will always feel deep down that theres something distinctly abnormal about men getting together. call it personal moral standards or watever.

Adopted children are no more or less part of a family than biological ones, to say otherwise is simply looking down on family structures that are not your own. Its simply non-sensical to disregard the bonds between children and adopted parents or even other guardians such as step-parents and those who are raised by extended family.

Additionally, who says anyone has to have children to make them acceptable to society? There are plenty of heterosexual relationships which do not and will not have children and they do not need an excuse to satisfy societal standards. If someone lives in a family unit that is alternative to what you perceive as the norm they do not inherently become abnormal.

Finally, there is no moral standard that people fail if they don't end up in a hetero relationship complete with biological children. Homosexuality is not a choice and cannot be judged as something with or without morals, it just is - like the sky or the grass or the colour of your skin.

 

[= Jennifer =]

1. don't go to clubs only loser guys are there
2. be yourself
3. always be confident about yourself so then it bounces off and others are attracted to you
4. go out to places with a group of people and you tend to meet new people that way
5. be social and talk to new people dont just expect people to talk to you when sometimes you need to talk

 

[faov]

Thank you all so much for your replies I'm impressed by how mature and open minded some of your responses have been, and they have certainly helped me. I'm going to address several quotes, though my comments will be nothing n

ew and in many cases I will simply reiterate views shared by other members.

the matter is that it gives the impression to future generations that homosexuality is perfectly normal and problem-free, which it is not, because it causes so much problems in not only their lives but to their families and ppl they know as well. of course I tolerate it, and i've got many gay friends from school, but i'd rather it didnt exist.

Needless to say, I don't agree. Homosexuality is perfectly normal and for me problem-free (but I admit this may be because I'm in a kindof sheltered environment). I'm openly gay and my parents don't care. My school (admin and students) certainly don't care, and the admin even said to me that they don't care if I bring a boy to prom/formal (but I don't have have one!). I only encounter homophobia on the internet, not in 'real-life'. I'm not treated like I'm lesser to dirt by my friends or other students. I cannot relate to these problems you speak of. I have never been physically or verbally assaulted or even bullied (though I do bully people that I consider annoying). As great as it is that you tolerate homosexuality, I can't help but think that you're only saying that you tolerate it and deep down feel quite different, aka you're just trying to be politically correct.

...
How? It's their personal sexuality. They were born with it. It's not like they can flip a switch and be "not gay". Also, the reason any problems might arise is because people aren't accepting of it and they make it a problem.

I can't agree more. There is research to suggest that your sexual orientation is genetic, but moreover homophobia would not exist if people were just accepting. It sounds stupid but I actually thought we lived in an era where being gay was ok with everyone.

Oh my God, would you and ViRtUaL just shut up already. Go be all sheltered and intolerant of homosexuality somewhere else, like in your own head.

I like your logic You're very smart -- seriously!

um...lets see.
they cant get married in aus. they cant have children. their parents will nevert have grandchildren. they're discriminated against in jobs and pay, although i do not condone this, it does happen. they get bashed at school lol. and much more.

I don't think this is correct in many respects.

Yes, gays can't get married in Australia, but I also object to gay marriage (not for religious purporses, obviously), so I would never marry even if given the opportunity. I don't believe in the entire concept of marriage for hetrosexuals, homosexuals, etc.

My parents don't want grandchildren that much, I suppose they'd rather save their money But in any case, most families have more than one child therefore there is a great possibility that they'll get grandchildren somehow or another.

I don't think queer people are discriminated at any 'good' job. I know that is subjective, but I mean that any large employer (>100 staff) or multinational corporation is going to be open minded and offering equal opportunities. I think that unless you want to work at, say, a really small business in a really remote homophobic location with little to no chance of career development, being discriminated on the basis of sexual orientation (not intellect) is highly unlikely. Most firms just want the best person for the job.

I've never been "bashed" at school or physically assaulted. Never. No one has punched me, pushed me (though I HAVE been poked .. but not for being gay) or anything. Everyone at school accepts me, accept for my History teacher who is kind but she doesn't understand homosexuality thus feels inclined to ask ridiculous questions (e.g. how do you know if you have found the right partner?). But she isn't trying to be nasty, she just isn't that bright.

Oh, and please elaborate on "and much more".

even if they adopt, they'll never be their own children.
but yes, i admit, if they were accepted their life wud be less difficult. but they never will be accepted to that extent because ppl will always inherently feel that it's not normal, no matter how much the govt promotes acceptance and tolerance. ppl will always feel deep down that theres something distinctly abnormal about men getting together. call it personal moral standards or watever.

I don't want children. I honestly hate them (not in the I-want-to-massacre-a-daycare-centre kindof way) and don't find them cute, kind, funny, etc. just naive. I do have respect for children which are hygenic. When I was at the Mont Blanc boutique in the city yesterday, I encountered a gay couple and noo ne was mean, staring, etc. even when they sortof made out. It was nice

I don't understand completely how people will "always inherently feel that [homosexuality] not normal". Unless people grow up in a homophobic background, they won't know any different. Therefore homophobia has to be eliminated. And I certainly don't see what is "moral" about discriminating someone based upon a genetic factor.

1. don't go to clubs only loser guys are there
2. be yourself
3. always be confident about yourself so then it bounces off and others are attracted to you
4. go out to places with a group of people and you tend to meet new people that way
5. be social and talk to new people dont just expect people to talk to you when sometimes you need to talk

Thanks for your advice, dear.

You are so correct in many ways and I really appreciate you taking the time to write me five bullet points. I'm going to review them and make flash cards Thanks again!

omg what happened today!!!
I just wanted to say how impressed I was with Chanel employing so many gay people and to extend my thanks to David Jones for employing so many gay people!! Yesterday when I went shopping I felt so comfortable in this environment. I'm not hetrophobic, but its just sweet when you're at a mall or somewhere and you feel you have an instant connection or in some way can relate to them. But overall, I think I should say thanks to McDonald's for being OVERLY accepting of gay people and letting them wear rainbow belts!! I thought that was so cool when I visited their restaurant today and the 5 obviously gay guys (I have a gaydar.. I can tell) + gay manager wore rainbow belts!! And not everyone does coz other guys didn't. I thought that was so good of McDonald's (the store wasn't a franchise but corporate) and shows their accepting nature as an equal opportunity employer. Not just because they employ gays, but because they really do believe in diversity (I guess that enables their staff to relate to their customers and to better offer the customer service they promote) and have older mature workers, disabled workers, young workers, transgender workers, immigrants, etc. There is so much variety. So yeah, I wanted to say thanks to McDonald's for being so welcoming of people!! It enabled me to feel really comfortable placing my order



Thanks again to everyone for their feedback.

xoxo

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

Become a fight attendant.

Most male flight attendants I have seen when flying were gay, especially qantas.

 

[Ennaybur]

loltroll

 

[Lizakith]

And I certainly don't see what is "moral" about discriminating someone based upon a genetic factor.

Exactly.
Christianity, and I suppose other religions teach not to judge.
What happens to this doctrine when homosexuality, abortion, etc are brought up? Why do Christians feel righteous in judging people on these issues?

 

[Sweety pie12]

so my best friend is gay
and i know from experience that some people are bastards who act all tolerant but they're not & the thing is as long as you dont let their bastardly ways hurt you you will be perfectly happy just as you are
further more
heaps & heaps of gay youth groups in the city if you dont mind the travelling & theres some for just gay boys & then there are even mixed ones it depends what you want to look for
good luck

 

[faov]

Become a fight attendant.

Most male flight attendants I have seen when flying were gay, especially qantas.

hahaha I know, the aviation industry is dominated by homosexuals, but flight attendants don't exactly make much money. I'd much rather work in the fashion industry which also has a healthy amount of gay people. And if all else fails I can work at McDonald's which lets gay people wear rainbow belts

so my best friend is gay
and i know from experience that some people are bastards who act all tolerant but they're not & the thing is as long as you dont let their bastardly ways hurt you you will be perfectly happy just as you are
further more
heaps & heaps of gay youth groups in the city if you dont mind the travelling & theres some for just gay boys & then there are even mixed ones it depends what you want to look for
good luck

Thanks so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. I want to reiterate to other members here that I don't want to meet other gay people for sex, but just so I can relate to them, build relationships (and whatever that may lead to) but really just to have some gay friends. It's kindof awkward when all of your friends are straight and don't want to talk about boys for longer than 25 minutes, but will spend like 6 hours discussing girls. I will feel slightly uncomfortable going to a gay youth group for the first time, solely because there are so many variables - what if they are gayer/less gay then me? what if I think I'm gay but find other 'gay' people are completely different to me? etc. It's only because I thought I was flamboyant, but after being at some boutiques today I don't know - I found about 8 gay people that were probably 60 times more flamboyant than I am, which kindof scared me/I envied. Maybe I can ask one of my 'straight' friends to come with me they don't have to hold my hand.

I think that I am strong (emotionally, not physically!! haha) and I don't really care about what other people say about me, stare, etc. if its to do with my sexual orientation. It's my least concern. I wouldn't want someone looking at me and thinking, omg he can't afford Hermès, for example, but being called gay or queer - which I am - isn't going to hurt. I do take offensive to the word 'fag' though.

I'm going off on a tangent but thanks again to everyone for your support, advice and comments.

 

[Sweety pie12]

no i know exactly what you mean about not fitting in my friend found that too its like you go there & all of a sudden you feel like you dont even belong with the gay community which kinda then makes you feel like you belong nowhere
but the thing is you'll never know if you dont try & you have to make sure you always be yourself
i would discuss boys with you i have 101 questions id like to ask about how they think but dont get me started or i'll go off on a tangent myself
but yeah take a friend that way it wont be as full on which can be a bit scary
& just have fun because your aim is to first meet people then maybe look for potential b/f material

 

[faov]

no i know exactly what you mean about not fitting in my friend found that too its like you go there & all of a sudden you feel like you dont even belong with the gay community which kinda then makes you feel like you belong nowhere
but the thing is you'll never know if you dont try & you have to make sure you always be yourself
i would discuss boys with you i have 101 questions id like to ask about how they think but dont get me started or i'll go off on a tangent myself
but yeah take a friend that way it wont be as full on which can be a bit scary
& just have fun because your aim is to first meet people then maybe look for potential b/f material

You are so right and I'm going to follow your advice. I really shouldn't draw judgements on these groups until I've experienced them at least several times. Maybe I should try say 3 meetings, and if I like them I'll continue to meet up. Thanks for offering such genuine, valuable and practical advice - I wholeheartly appreciate it.

 

[Some_Guy]

I know the perfect place to meet other guys.

This video should explain more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwFk2VaDXok
​

 

[faov]

I know the perfect place to meet other guys.

This video should explain more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwFk2VaDXok
​

I hope you're kidding.

 

[Darkening]

why not just play a sport, or a social event.

If you go ice skatin in macquarie you'll find single guys that don't care about what other people think.

But them hitting on you is diffrent, most of them just like to enjoy iceskating (lol I love iceskatin so meh... i go alone just to get away)

 

[Riet]

I love iceskating. That cool breeze on your face while you cut turns in between kids, scaring the shit out of their mums'. It's awesome.

 

[TessaVance89]

Oh, that's so sweet! Thanks for your feedback and I'm glad your relationship is going so well - I'm almost jealous! But at the moment I'm looking for someone a little closer to my age. I would feel uncomfortable having a bf more than 3-4 years older than me at this stage.

I can understand that, most people couldn't do it or would need a v. special person to do it with