I hate it when they can't use EFTPOS, as the following excerpts proves:
Them: Can I put that on my card?
Me: Would you like any cash out? But I have to warn you, I don't have much in my draw.
Them: I want $400.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't have that much money in my draw. I can do $100, maybe $150, but I can't do any more.
Them: Can you get some more? (pointing to Customer Service Desk)
Me: I'm afraid I can't as I've already have to pay them back $500 so I'm not allowed to borrow any more.
Them: But I want $400, can't you get it from somewhere else?
Me: I'm afraid there's nowhere else I can get it from (customer storms off without buying anything)
Them: Can I put that on my card?
Me: Would you like any cash out?
Them: Can I get $100 please?
Me: If you'd just like to enter your card and select you account ... sorry, we don't give cash out on credit (how the hell am I supposed to automatically know they havea credit card? Am I telepathic and I don't know it?)
Them: Can I use EFTPOS?
Me: Would you like any cash out?
Them: Er, no thanks.
Me: OK, just a second please while I set this up (customer enters card and wonders why it doesn't work) ... I'm sorry, could you just give me a second? (they continue to ignore me)
Them: Why isn't it working? It says it's 'Ready'.
Me: That's because it's on, but I haven't finalised the transaction yet ... OK, I'll just get you to put your card in ... no, wait, it goes in the other way (I demonstrate how to put it in correctly and they ignore me) ... sorry, you just have to turn your card over like that. OK, can you just select your account (customer tries to enter PIN)
Them: Why isn't it working this time?
Me: You have to select your accout first - cheque, savings or credit? (they ignore me and try to put in PIN number again)
Them: It's still not working (I take machine to do it myself)
Me: OK, what account was it? Savings? Right now I'll just need you to enter yyour PIN number (they ignore me, so I speak up) Can you please put your PIN number in?
Them: I've already done that.
Me: Sorry, I just need you to put it in again because you did it before you selected yor account.
Them: I've already put it in twice, I'm not going to do it again. Why do you need me to do it again? Are you trying to find out my PIN number so you can steal my money you good-for-nothing high school drop-out?!
Me: Actually, I finished Year 12 last year. I'm not trying to rob you, I'm just trying to serve you as quickly and as efficiently as possible.
Them: Well, I'm going to complain because you're hardly efficient.
Me: Can you please put your PIN number in and then maybe you won't have to (they finally do it) ... OK ... any time now ... any time ... what do you mean "transaction timed out"?! OK, back to square one. Can you please enter your card?
Them: What?
Me: Sorry, our line's gone down, it happens whenever a transaction takes too long.
Them: Well, you've got no-one to blame but yourself for that.
Me: How about I just suspend it and send you around to someone who can help you (and has a bit more patience)?
All of those were real, I kid you not, and all were with people aged over 60.