AoS Essay Advice (1 Viewer)

[Angry Koala]

Hey Guys,
I was hoping someone would be able to read over my IJ essay and give me some advice, i've been struggling with it for a while and it seems no matter what i do i can't get over 9/15 for it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Cheers,
AK.

 

[pinkly]

Just skimming through (my English is rusty), you might be getting the low marks because you haven't done much analysis of the texts at all, rather, you're only retelling the stories. If you're going to talk about different viewpoints, define what the viewpoints are rather than mentioning only "these texts offer differing viewpoints".

On another note, you should put the names of your texts in quotation marks or underline them. It makes it easier for the markers to know.

 

[kakkerot100]

Ok my word's are not filled with undeniable wisdom or anything, but I just read your essay and it seems like your doing what heaps of people do when it comes to imaginative journey essay's. The entire reason teachers get off to certain essay's and give them 15/15 is because they believe in educating us on the imaginative rubric, we will be inspired by litteriture and it will enrich our lives. I'm not sure what the question was and your synthesis of techniques is pretty good, its just the relation back to how journey's affect you, or the responder or what'ever you want to call it.

Saying "presents differant viewpoints" 6 trillion times pisses teachers off cause they think your vocabulary is really limited. Just when your stating some aspect of imagination within your texts, say shit like "this technique vicariously affects the reader to perceive their world (Im just ad libbing here)".

Actually I don't know, try some one elses advice. Good fortune though in your exams

 

[kakkerot100]

Ok my word's are not filled with undeniable wisdom or anything, but I just read your essay and it seems like your doing what heaps of people do when it comes to imaginative journey essay's. The entire reason teachers get off to certain essay's and give them 15/15 is because they believe in educating us on the imaginative rubric, we will be inspired by litteriture and it will enrich our lives. I'm not sure what the question was and your synthesis of techniques is pretty good, its just the relation back to how journey's affect you, or the responder or what'ever you want to call it.

Saying "presents differant viewpoints" 6 trillion times pisses teachers off cause they think your vocabulary is really limited. Just when your stating some aspect of imagination within your texts, say shit like "this technique vicariously affects the reader to perceive their world (Im just ad libbing here)".

Actually I don't know, try some one elses advice. Good fortune though in your exams

 

[BHHS]

You don't put enough emphasis on the Tempest, and more on "The Arrival". It should atleast be 2:1:1 for the 3 texts, with Tempest being 50% of your essay and the other two being 25% each.

 

[danish222]

Hey

Just read your essay and the best way to improve it is to fix your introduction. Your first paragraph needs to set up your whole essay, so make it as good as you can. Sometimes it can be two paragraphs. State what a journey is then how an imaginative journey is more than that. REFERENCE your texts properly. "Title" (author, publisher, date).

As far as I could see you had one concept to prove in your essay. 'in any one Imaginative Journey, the travellers may experience different viewpoints of the experience, and in which case being affected by the journey in a different way.' Perhaps could be two there and they seem fairly vague.
I suggest three concepts. And you must relate the concepts back to journeys and the essay question. I haven't studied 'The Tempest' or 'The Arrival' so can't help much there, but text 7 in stim bklet i've seen before.

You say '
Here, enjambment and long sentences are used to give a sense of continuity and movement through the passage, resembling the flow of an imaginative journey. ' Perhaps you could use 'imaginative journeys are a natural flow of the imagination' as a concept. That text is a good start- but you must back up each concept with at least two texts.

If you need more help, don't hesitate to ask.

Good luck

Hope this gets to you before the exam tomorrow. lol