$4.81 an hour for a full time job... DOES THAT SOUND FUCKED UP TO YOU!? (2 Viewers)

[Shuter]

What a weird and greedy family. Tell them to go screw themselves and if they expect you to support them in old age, this isn't the right way to go about it.

 

[Auto Wah]

if you're over 18 and still live with your parents, then i guess you do need to pay a little weekly rent fee. Parents are not suppose to look after you forever you know 10k a year towards your parents is a lot i must agree.

 

[White Rabbit]

Don't agree with halving it, but if your parents aren't getting anything else to support you, then I agree you should be paying board.

I am technically part time - guarenteed 30 hrs a week, but can get upto 40 - and more often than not, get night loading, and weekend loading, so I'm earning, on average, $450 a week. Give mum $100, and then the rest goes on the project of the week - holiday, new 'things' etc... Right now, it's my holiday in 2 weeks then christmas...and Uni next year. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to my lovley disposable income, because after this year, I need to save to move out after I finish Uni (at least I'll have a degree to support me then ) plus the return of my YA!

And, until I get YA back, I pay mum board because she shouldn't have to support me if i'm financially able to move out and support myself. I realise the only reason she asks me to pay board is because I can afford it, and she simply can not afford to support me as well as my brother and sister, -- and I should be paying my way reguardless anyway.

I reckon everyone who is no longer in school. or over 18, should be paying board in one way or another. And this crap about giving all the money you earn to your parents and them giving you money whenever you want it is stupid, how are you suppose to manage your money unless you have limits? It isn't the same spending someone elses money and you're more inclined to be a little tighter with it knowing you only get so much every week and it isn't in endless supply. Also, remember the very first pay cheque you got? How bloody fantastic did you feel? not the same when your parents give you the money.

 

[helloyo]

Thanx leftrightout

I have not the slightest fucking clue why I said HEX. I'm pretty fucked in the head right now. *stops swearing*

I've actually moved out before. The only thing that seemed to bother me was my unemployment at THAT time, my guilt for leaving and the ongoing calls my parents gave me like "you have disappointed us, you have broken our family, our tradition, you are not a true asian, you're a terrible daughter, and we disown you" kind of stuff. It was traumatic and an it was continous cutting into my emotional stability etc. I dunno why I said cutting, but it seemed the appropriate word.

They took me back under conditions that were grudgingly promised by both parties. I get to have a boyfriend, I get to go to the formal in year 12, I get to choose WHAT UNI and WHAT COURSE i want, and I get to go out. I promised to take over chores entirely - dogs, dishwashing, washing clothes, just a whole bunch of chores which seemed reasonable you know? Do your chores first before you go out, that sounds about right.

Things tightened up. They became slowly and gradually ridiculous eg: telling me I could only go out for three hours if it was a movie. No lord of the rings type films here, and travelling gets tight. They snob my boyfriend, who researches my culture, and what COULD be my culture, and every time he comes by just to talk to me, he brings a pricey present for my parents, who not only disregard the present and end up putting it aside in storage, but disregard him when he says "hi" etc. They find the FORMAL as totally ridiculous, and they pulled me away at graduation night after I got my certificate, and they blast at me if i'm a few minutes late from their ridiculous curfew. I know some have it much worse than me

For a while I needed to fight for my love for music etc so I can pursue it at the conservatorium of music. But that's slowly dying down because I have fought for this as my first priority this year. (And rightly so, don't you think?)

They also consider me as the bad kid, and I say this because I overheard my parents saying to my little brother that "your sister is only doing music because she knows she wont get 90. She's not intelligent, you need to make us proud."

Which cut. I've written somewhere in this forum before, and I know it sounds sad but I tell it to people, because I genuinely don't know what to do. I get immense pressure from people to move out, and I don't want to go through that shit experience again when they call me up, or my consistant guilt etc. I'm really lost and I don't know what the fuck to do.

f***ing dickheads. f**k them! they are ignorant a-holes! i think i have it bad (and if like me you expect respect, then i do), but you have absolute torture. i would set fire to their belongings and be out of there so fast... i know it must be very tought them being your parents and all, but you have to cut your ties with them very soon. preferably sooner then later for your sake. and don't let them make you feel guilty, this is ENTIRELY their fault.

 

[SipSip]

... or suicidal behaviour.

Definitely...in my opinion, parents sometimes don't know the impact their words have on their kids...it's sad, since that a lot of the time, kids do things to get up to the standard that their parents set, but all they get for all that effort is no praise or encouragement, sometimes even insults like, "what, you think that's good enough" This is highly evident in asian families where even my parents once said "what happened to that 5% when i got 95 in an test, this was during yr 10 though...they've gone a lot more relaxed since which has made me perform better plus enjoy life better

Generally speaking, take notice of this, especially asian parents, they don't tend to praise the acheivements of people often, while they are constantly complaining or making negative comments about other people's failures. This converts back to their kids where they are naturally impaired with the inability to praise their kids easily whereas they could find fault in them with ease, which is really sad, since that most kids work hard so that they could get praised and not insulted...i don't see why, but i'm sure the parents themselves don't want to get insulted by their boss for the efforts they've put in. A little bit of praise can go a long way in improving a child's confidence and committment to something good...

As for suicidal behaviour in teens, sadly, i think it's a lot to do with the parents themselves, the amount of pressure that they give to their kids and the amount of expectations causes kids to constantly worry about the consequences of their failure to meet expectations. Instead of giving support, parents only know how to give requirements...and in the end...the result of the suicide will cause them to cry and scream out "why..." when the origin of the problem is themselves...

Not to blame parents of course, i mean, i absolutely love my parents since that they've become such good friends with me, but generally speaking, asian parents needs to know how to change...and also, the kiddies now needs to remember that when we have kiddies...how to treat them as well.. ^^

 

[Ranger Stacie]

i couldnt have said it better myself

 

[Italia]

gee....thankgod i have my parents.......i understand some families don't have what others do but for a mother to ask for sooo much money is ...... sorry selfish and if its part of culture sorry but culture needs to change and be prioritised.........don't your parents understand houses don't cost a maximum of $ 100 000 like they did in there day...... its more like $500000........ your parents need to realise that if u keep giving them all this money you will never buy a house for yourself u will rent for ever........thts y i personally save about 80% of savings ......and give myself 20% for travel ,,,,,,,,entertainment etc.........i no others are in a different situation but u can always save something........but with 50% taken it stats to get harder to save

 

[tennille]

I agree. They are very selfish parents. And like someone mentioned before, if they want you to help them when they're older, they aren't going the right way about it.

I've never heard of this type of behaviour by parents. I mean, it's typical to read in books...but realistically? Very disappointing behaviour by your parents. It sounds like they are image- conscious and appear insecure...like they need to impress people. If you want to leave, leave. You sound like you are having a terrible time there...it's very cruel to say that "you are not intelligent". I'd think to myself "well, up your's". I guess that would kind of motivate you as well, to try and prove them wrong...

 

[Cyph]

it's very cruel to say that "you are not intelligent". I'd think to myself "well, up your's". I guess that would kind of motivate you as well, to try and prove them wrong...

what happens when it's true in your case?

 

[SipSip]

In simple terms, if your family is dirt poor and can't afford the general foods of every day life, then you should probably pitch in more than 50%...cause in that situation...you are a bad kid if you don't help

If your family is decent and your mum is just wanting money so she could store it in her bank account...then tell her that you have a bank account too...

 

[sped_kid01]

ahhh, dont let her do that
what does she want the money for?
i guess it would be ok if she was saving it 4 u or something, but still, she has no right to taek it

 

[bex]

when did you leave school? that 20k will probably qualify for Youth allowance which is your money.. not your parents

also, you could direct some of it to an investment account which only you can access.. i think you have to be 18 though.. even so with regular accounts, they cant access them once you turn 18..