Same as well, for me that was partially how I pushed my "friends" away but also because I found that most friends I have made in the past were probably the worst types of people to hang out with (including several people of the manipulator type...)meeee I'm so awkward at first like dead awkward its so bad, even if I'm 'close' to you i literally have a different personally for each "friend" which is why i just pushed them away