This is precisely the issue I have with the more rational "no" voters: their strongest argument and motivation for voting "no" has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand, and is therefore an invalid argument entirely.
To be honest, this is my biggest concern, apart from religious views which view the purposes of marriage in a different light to society.
Addressing the so-called fallacies #1:
- I would respectfully disagree, many people who have publicly advocated for same-sex marriage, even excusing the extreme and obnoxious people - the completely frank ones, have always been honest that same-sex marriage is just the start of it.
- The reason why this argument holds some weight and isn't as irrelevant is because we can actually (in Australia) study countries who legislated same sex marriage before especially Canada. We have noted that universities and businesses are under pressure to give into a new morality, of which same-sex marriage is perceived as the tool that empowers a radical social change that some people are frankly either opposed to (because they can), or are uncomfortable with.
Because, it is this radical social change/movement that people are opposed to, and same-sex marriage is the tip of the iceberg in this change/movement.
- It is also a tiny bit dishonest to say that it hasn't nothing to do with the issue at hand, even if the only people who "really" actually want to silence for instance Christians or sue them are the extreme ones. Some people have thought deeply about the issues at hand, and still think it is an issue, and voted 'no'.
- Secondly, if in order to get the recognition you have to shut down opposing views (which to be honest, are mostly religious/cultural minorities) then there is a problem.
And even if we excuse this fallacy (which we absolutely should not if we want our society to work like a proper educated democracy [and there's a layer of irony somewhere since this is the argument used by "no" libertarians voters]), their basis for the "argument" is a composition fallacy, where they cherry-pick the most obnoxious people on the "yes" side and claim that they are representative of the SSM movement as a whole and everyone else who supports SSM.
Addressing the so-called fallacies #2:
- Yep and as you can acknowledge and agree on, the same caricature can happen for 'no' supporters as "desperate men" who are appealing to supposedly completedly unrelated issues?
- I agree it is appalling and dishonest to say that all SSM supporters are obnoxious and filled with hate and dissent. Many are not.
- I would argue it is not dishonest, but maybe it is maybe not wise to assume the worst of people. Many who do *actively* support SSM aren't that caricature. It would be concerning that the role models and supposed leading advocates in the movement are some of these people. There will lie the problem. (I am not personally really going to be argue this point beyond this, because I haven't had too much exposure to it personally)
The other arguments against SSM you've mentioned are essentially the same, but dressed in different colours: regardless of the motivation behind each of those arguments, they all lead to a slippery slope argument, which is the desperate man's favourite fallacy.
Obviously, I don't think so. They need not necessarily be a slippery slope argument: SSM has empowered a movement. The question is what social changes will be pushed for next. Especially in our case, we can actually look at the slope. Where is the next stop?
Now an obvious slippery slope would be:
"if SSM passes then society will be run down to the ground by sexual confusion and by filthy SJW leftist commie cucks"
if SSM does not pass then society will be run down to the ground by divisive intolerance and hostility towards those who are different and by problematic fringe right-wing individuals
Not gonna lie: the main reason why I personally would vote "yes" is because that I haven't heard a single good argument against SSM and it's easy to come up with simple arguments for why it's good, not necessarily because I've heard an overwhelmingly good argument for SSM per se. I think this in and of itself becomes a good argument when you apply ethics to it, e.g. we are bound ethically to vote "yes" because the expected good outweighs the expected bad (based on the arguments from both sides).
This is where it reveals, it is an ethics question. Your ethic system is consequential (make decisions based on consequential), while mine influenced by my faith of course, isn't.
ASIDE: To give an alternative perspective on the issue:
- Christians will appeal to God designing marriage as being between man and woman (reflecting complimentary relationship between Jesus and the church) and also for the natural offspring. (There is more to the Christian ethic).
- So therefore Christians are at least (if appealing to their authority and beliefs/culture) are not bound to the same ethics
And similar for other religions and non-Western cultures... (including microcultures that are present in our Australian society).
Different cultures for instance have different structures:
1. Guilt and innocence (think inner lawyer). Do not do something because it is unlawful
2. Honour and shame (think inner grandma). Do not do something because it brings shame as opposed to honour.
3. Fear and power (think inner demon): Seek power in the face of fear
While the West is trending towards
4. Pleasure and pain (think inner therapist): Do what feels good.
I can understand why Western society wants same-sex marriage (and yes I don't have to agree) as you have noted:
But it isn't difficult to give a decent reason to support SSM either; if we as a (modern Western) society deem that what makes a marriage a marriage is the romantic love and companionship between two people, then same sex marriage should also be legal and the individuals involved should be entitled to the same legal rights and recognition as heterosexual married couples. This is logically valid, meaning the only way to refute the conclusion is to reject the antecedent.
Yet our culture is not mono-cultural, not adopt a single set of ethics, nor a single morality. The law courts then have to decide what to legislate on (democratic society has voted for yes for instance). It doesn't agree that marriage is simply just romantic love and companionship but is the backbone of families. For some marriage has indeed a different meaning.
For e.g. to give a religious perspective
What we have to recognise in this debate is a messy clash between an old morality ("loosely" based on "Christian" values) and a new incoming morality of sexuality. This is where the conflict and debate lies. The previous definition maybe unwisely, was this old morality, which had a different understanding of marriage.
For me, the only argument that has held any significance from the yes side, is recognising that "if society wants SSM, it can have it." - recognising that is the trend for people's opinions, so that should be what is in law.
But now that same-sex marriage is legal? What next for the LGBTIQ movement? Will same sex marriage be enough? Or in the sake of personal freedoms will they coerce churches and businesses (run by minority) to go against their own moral convictions?
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Aside:
It is worth mentioning that I think slogans like "love is love" etc. were not helpful for the 'yes' case.
Sorry if that was a bit messy, as it is currently 0;00am
SUMMARY OF WHAT I WAS HOPING TO SAY ABOVE:
1. It is important to recognise, many people like myself, aren't specifically rejecting SSM necessarily by itself, but rejecting a wider movement of which SSM is seen as the crown jewel (or capstone) or cornerstone; of which there are serious issues. This is where our arguments and "supposed slopes" are coming from, it is observing the advocates of the movement and the issues they promote as a whole. (Unfortunately the most vocal ones have sometimes been the most obnoxious on both sides) and the way that particular issues fuel other issues.
It is the same reason for instance, why I would happily support the rights of refugees for instance even to the extent of closing inhumane detention/processing centres; but yet refuse to sign a petition from my uni's socialist society on that matter as I didn't want to associate with a group who in other areas (particularly bioethics)
2. But also there are different ethical/moral and even definitions of key things are at play. So at its heart, it is something where people fundamentally disagree on, by principle even if you strip away all the good and poor arguments. This is why this particular issue has been quite divided (even if it isn't 50/50)