Somebody slap me (please?) (2 Viewers)

[jong_suk]

I think the main thing is just forget about year 7-11 marks because those marks are literally irrelevant to what you're going to get in year 12.

Ughh i wish someone told me that years ago.

And competition does get huge this year, people i knew who used to fail are consistently beating me in everything. The same people who would rock up 5 minutes before a test in year 11 and ask, "what's a legislation again?" to now getting full marks.

Thank you for the "slap", i appreciate it! I'll take your advice and find that motivation that keeps eluding me.

 

[boredsatan]

Firstly, I like your name

Second, that is the best quote ever. For some reason, i got this song in my head now:

"I believe i can flyyyyyyy, i believe i can touch the skyyyyyy."

Thanks bud! (for the reply, not the song)

Thanks for liking my reply!.
And I sometimes listen to that song too!!

 

[Ilovecarrots]

Firstly, I like your name

Second, that is the best quote ever. For some reason, i got this song in my head now:

"I believe i can flyyyyyyy, i believe i can touch the skyyyyyy."

Thanks bud! (for the reply, not the song)

for SOME reason I just thought of the song from The Lego Movie:

"Everything is awesomeeeeeeeeee! Everything is good when you're part of a team."

Don't ask me how it got into my head.

 

[jong_suk]

for SOME reason I just thought of the song from The Lego Movie:

"Everything is awesomeeeeeeeeee! Everything is good when you're part of a team."

Don't ask me how it got into my head.

THAT SONG IS MY JAM!! It was stuck in my head for the longest time.

Aww no, now it's in my head right now.

 

[kabytto]

Your a pretty brave person for admitting something like this.

I could boggle you fluff like "its natural to feel like this" and "everyone else feels the same way too don't worry" but i'm quite sure thats not what you are looking for.

What you need is to be honest with yourself, and find the motivation that TRULY drives you. I'm not talking about some crap like the ATAR, because frankly that goal is too long term to keep track of - what you need is something that constantly gets you out of bed and sits you down every single hour. I can only talk from my personal experience. I never liked the idea of people overtaking me, may it be the highschool that i went to (Baulkham hills), or my parents, but I am deathly scared of failing. You are not the same person as I am. Hell, you may be a sunny bright person who just aspires to be the best you want to be. You might just want to be there for your friends. Whatever drives you, hold on to it and don't let go because that is what gets you through each day, not the ATAR calculator on the matrix website.

Self pity will not get you anywhere. "aww it'll be alright" will not get you anywhere. There are two things that constitute a good ATAR. Talent, or sheer hardwork. You don't have the former? Too bad. Knuckle down and work hard.
People say your ATAR doesn't matter because you can always go do another course to get in - via a round about way. Sure, but you are also wasting years of your life. WHen you are 20, 2 years is 10% of your life. ATAR does matter, and anyone who says otherwise is deluding themselves. ATAR gets you your degree, and your degree gets you your job. Your job gets you your future.

Speaking of friends, it is important to have a supportive environment, yet one that drives you forward at the same time. A little competition never hurt anyone. If you all want to study, then you will too. However it is important not to get too caught up in the competition and let it eat away at you for not being absolute best. Your teachers are always willing to help. If you don't get anything, man up and ask - NO MATTER HOW STUPID THE QUESTION IS. Their judgment nor your classmates judgments affect your atar. They laugh at you? So what- you'll laugh at them when they dont' understand in 1 week.

Be realistic with yourself. If you tell yourself you will study 5 subjects but deep in your heart you know that your bullshitting yourself, you're bullshitting yourself. Your brain cannot concentrate for 12 hours a day - its delusional to think you can. What you are actually doing is setting yourself up to fail, and then copping the emotional fallout when you do.

Finally, anxiety and adjustment disorders are real. Go talk to your Councillor if you want someone to confide in. Your local GP is also happy to help. They are bound by law to maintain confidentiality (unless you are suicidal).

I'm sorry that this news may be not the news you are looking for- but I have been there and felt the exact same ways you did.
I was part of the 2013 BHHS cohort and achieved 99.80 atar and 95 umat. Not the best, but it worked for me.

Keep fighting,
Kabytto

 

[WildestDreams]

Your a pretty brave person for admitting something like this.

I could boggle you fluff like "its natural to feel like this" and "everyone else feels the same way too don't worry" but i'm quite sure thats not what you are looking for.

What you need is to be honest with yourself, and find the motivation that TRULY drives you. I'm not talking about some crap like the ATAR, because frankly that goal is too long term to keep track of - what you need is something that constantly gets you out of bed and sits you down every single hour. I can only talk from my personal experience. I never liked the idea of people overtaking me, may it be the highschool that i went to (Baulkham hills), or my parents, but I am deathly scared of failing. You are not the same person as I am. Hell, you may be a sunny bright person who just aspires to be the best you want to be. You might just want to be there for your friends. Whatever drives you, hold on to it and don't let go because that is what gets you through each day, not the ATAR calculator on the matrix website.

Self pity will not get you anywhere. "aww it'll be alright" will not get you anywhere. There are two things that constitute a good ATAR. Talent, or sheer hardwork. You don't have the former? Too bad. Knuckle down and work hard.
People say your ATAR doesn't matter because you can always go do another course to get in - via a round about way. Sure, but you are also wasting years of your life. WHen you are 20, 2 years is 10% of your life. ATAR does matter, and anyone who says otherwise is deluding themselves. ATAR gets you your degree, and your degree gets you your job. Your job gets you your future.

Speaking of friends, it is important to have a supportive environment, yet one that drives you forward at the same time. A little competition never hurt anyone. If you all want to study, then you will too. However it is important not to get too caught up in the competition and let it eat away at you for not being absolute best. Your teachers are always willing to help. If you don't get anything, man up and ask - NO MATTER HOW STUPID THE QUESTION IS. Their judgment nor your classmates judgments affect your atar. They laugh at you? So what- you'll laugh at them when they dont' understand in 1 week.

Be realistic with yourself. If you tell yourself you will study 5 subjects but deep in your heart you know that your bullshitting yourself, you're bullshitting yourself. Your brain cannot concentrate for 12 hours a day - its delusional to think you can. What you are actually doing is setting yourself up to fail, and then copping the emotional fallout when you do.

Finally, anxiety and adjustment disorders are real. Go talk to your Councillor if you want someone to confide in. Your local GP is also happy to help. They are bound by law to maintain confidentiality (unless you are suicidal).

I'm sorry that this news may be not the news you are looking for- but I have been there and felt the exact same ways you did.
I was part of the 2013 BHHS cohort and achieved 99.80 atar and 95 umat. Not the best, but it worked for me.

Keep fighting,
Kabytto

omg ik this isn't my thread but your words are really inspiring!

 

[jong_suk]

Kabytto -

Firstly, I had a really long reply, but I accidentally clicked on pinterest and then IT WAS ALL GONE. THE PAGE RELOADED. RELOADED. AND AUTOSAVE DIDN'T AUTOSAVE. OMG, AND I WORKED HARD TO WRITE A GOOD REPLY. But anyways, I'll try to reproduce it. Here goes:


Thank you for replying!!! It really means alot to me!

And thanks for calling me brave ^^ although I really don't feel it. It's the anonymity of the internet that really lets me spills me guts out hahaha.

What you said about ATAR being a too long goal and unrealistic goal is comepletely true. I fear that because I'm just so... Lacking in motivation, a far away goal is unrealistic, and should be working on smaller goals, finding motivation to really just get the day's work done. I have a fear of failure too. Maybe that's why this year is affecting me so bad.

And you're absolutely right about self-pity. It doesn't do any justice, my thoughts of reassurance and "it's gonna be a-okay" is just so fake, I feel worse after just thinking about it. Unfortunately, about the talent, I think I had it before and now it's gone. I just recently got my half-yearly results back, and they are, well, fails. Maybe I'm whinging to some, but as a straight A's student constantly getting B's and C's and getting ranked lower as the terms go on, and in the year that matters most, is just despicable. Idk anymore. It's like I've lost half my brain, so I get paranoid at everything and I start to make stupid excuses as to why I'm constantly failng, is the pressure too much? Is is the anxiety? Do my teachers secretly hate me? COULD IT BE BECAUSE I STARTED TAKING FISH OIL TABLETS SUSPICIOUSLY WHEN YR 12 STARTED, AND NOW THEY'RE DAMAGING MY BRAIN??? Idk.

People do always say ATAR doesn't matter. But it does to me. I sure as heck don't want to admit it, but it's for my parents, my reputation, my self-belief and my future. It's one step closer to getting me to my desired career, and everything I've been working for as long as I can remember. (I think I said before on this thread it doesn't matter. I lied.) Thanks for putting it bluntly

About competition, yeah its nice. But I've always been the self-centred person who doesn't want to beat others, but acheive full marks and personal best for myself. But freaking SCHOOL is turning me into some kind of twisted green monster that has to blink back jealous tears when my friend gets a higher mark than me, and has to choke out a toad-like "congratulations". I know, I suck.

Well, the one good thing I can say is the questions. I always ask when I'm unsure, and I get unbearably anxious when I miss out content or don't understand something.

Finally, thank you for taking the time to reply. I'll definitely take all of your advice, and yes, this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for the "slap in the face"

I'm glad that you are doing well now, and I wish you all the best for the future too!! xx

Edit: Whoops wrote too much. Sorry.

 

[jong_suk]

omg ik this isn't my thread but your words are really inspiring!

When I started this thread I did not expect so much inspiring people to actually reply and give solid advice. *cries*

 

[Kolmias]

*slaps OP*

 

[jong_suk]

*slaps OP*

*Face has a bright red hand print*

That hurt.

Thanks man.

 

[igiari]

I know this is thread is getting old, but for the purposes of anyone else who happens to stumble across this later down the line, let me hit you with a bit of psychology.
OP, your issue about knowing what you have to do but not being able to do it b/c of stress and a lack of motivation sounds familiar. I think what's happening here is that you've fallen into a pattern of 'negative reinforcement'. It's a cycle that goes something like this:

- You sit down to study and are suddenly hit with a truckload of negative emotions: stress, hopelessness, disappointment, self degredation, etc
- The emotions you feel change your outlook on your ability to handle the situation
- this perspective feeds into action: avoidance of the source of anxiety. You watch a movie or waste time to calm down and tell yourself you'll tackle it with a clear head later
- This immediate gratification of an upswing in moods reinforces the avoidance strategies, rewarding the behavioral pattern and making it more likely to happen next time
- Rinse and repeat.

Unfortunately, there's no easy way to break this habit. Basically, it comes down to breaking the link between what you're feeling and how you act. In this case, studying, it means you have to start setting yourself small goals and completing them - no excuses, no questions asked. The more times you quit halfway or take a break before you finish what you set out to do, the more you ingrain the negative reinforcement. Don't overwhelm yourself too quickly; start small, with a few questions from your workbook or a single paragraph of an essay, and work your way up from there. Reward yourself for getting things done, not for avoiding bad feelings and giving up halfway through. Eventually, your repeated successes will alter the emotions you feel when you sit down to study, and that change in perception will let you do your work without all that unnecessary stress. I'm sure you'll see a change in your results!

I know that saying 'just get in and do it' isn't really helpful if you're struggling. But hopefully knowing the psychology behind your behavior will help you understand what you're doing and how you can fix it. Best of luck!!

 

[jong_suk]

Woah the Pschology lingo makes so much sense! And yes, that's exactly what's happening to me!

Since I first posted, I've been trying to "just get in and do it", and whilst it still isn't as effecient as I would like to be, it's definitely getting better. I just wish I went through this process in year 11, but they marked so easy last year and I honestly thought year 12 was going to a breeze -.-

You're right, small goals are definitely better. For example, I've been doing one maths question (as in from past paper that include more sub questions) and some bio questions too every day. BUT I NEED TO DO BETTER. I've also addressed my inner negative thoughts, and had a long chat to how distressed I was to my parents. They have calmed down a tiny bit, but that tiny bit has made me feel a lot better mentally It's more peaceful and calm when I study these days.

So thank you for taking the time to reply to this thread I'm glad people still read it and still shocked that so many people replied at all!!!