• Congratulations to the Class of 2024 on your results!
    Let us know how you went here
    Got a question about your uni preferences? Ask us here

Year 11 2014 Chat :) (5 Viewers)

Status
Not open for further replies.

turntaker

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
3,908
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
sure, here are some excerpts from my heroism essay.

Through the allusion to gods in “the gods often mumble” Atwood challenges the religious values of Homer’s context and mocks their belief in oracles and divine intervention, asserting the religious values of her own cultural context.

The brutal and sadistic nature of the heroic males is expressed through the chorus line of the maids “it gave you pleasure you raised your hand you watched us fall” in which it becomes clear that the males simply abused their power and exploited the women in order to enhance their own heroic image. Furthermore, the repetition of “Blame it on the slaves! Blame it on the sluts!” conveys the men’s unjust treatment towards women as a social and moral flaw in the context of modern society.

sort of get the idea? not sure what other schools learn though, but so far my english teacher hasn't complained about my writing style yet
I like your writing. I wish I could write like that..
 

Fiction

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
773
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
Can you give an example? We were told to write the quote before the technique.
Metaphorically, "quote" demonstrates "effect"

I would post an example of something from my paragraph, but I know that my school runs a plagarism test after we submit out texts, and my post would probably come up if I did post anything c:

I'll skype you an example though :D If anyone else wants it, gimme your skype :O
 

turntaker

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
3,908
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
thanks :) i spent the whole of year 10 trying to learn how to write essays, hope it'll pay off now
This is how I write. (This is from a speech from last year.)

In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us. This is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him. He says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know”. Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

hahaha
 

Fiction

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
773
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
nope, but 3/4 of our grade does it anyways! ok confirmed not from the same school :) but i'm guessing yours must be a selective? only advanced english is compulsory at mine
lol yeah, my school's just a bit retarded though :p I have friends from other selective schools and they do not have to do eng ext 1 Q.Q I think the only subjects selective schools generally offer are Adv eng instead of standard, maths 2 unit instead of general, and science subjects wise, only chem, bio and physics (no senior science). But then again I'm only basing this on 2 selective school's subject selection. Would love to confirm though :) If you're from a selective school who offers the above mentioned subjects that were listed as non offered by selective schools, please tell me~

EDIT:
Are you from a selective school? Forgot to ask xD;
 

matchalolz

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Messages
1,179
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
lol yeah, my school's just a bit retarded though :p I have friends from other selective schools and they do not have to do eng ext 1 Q.Q I think the only subjects selective schools generally offer are Adv eng instead of standard, maths 2 unit instead of general, and science subjects wise, only chem, bio and physics (no senior science). But then again I'm only basing this on 2 selective school's subject selection. Would love to confirm though :) If you're from a selective school who offers the above mentioned subjects that were listed as non offered by selective schools, please tell me~
yeah, i go selective and no standard eng is offered. general maths is offered, but not enough people chose it so it didn't run. also, senior science is not offered but i took no science so it doesnt affect me haha :3
 

turntaker

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
3,908
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
I'll just type my example here.

Tyrell's power and authority is fostered through the ceremonious Judeo-Christian symbol of the candles in the mise-en-scene, reinforcing his replacement of God as 'creator' to reflect the postmodern deconstruction of the metanarrative of religion as a single source of morality.
That is good writing. Sounds fancy. WHY CAN"T I BE THIS
 

matchalolz

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Messages
1,179
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
This is how I write. (This is from a speech from last year.)

In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us. This is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him. He says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know”. Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

hahaha
well, the first thing my english teacher from last year would say is that you have to synthesise it all into one sentence if possible. i'm sure with more practice, you'll be able to do it! just saying, that was probably what my writing was like before I tried to change it
 

Futuremedstudent

Ancient Orator
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
1,428
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
lol yeah, my school's just a bit retarded though :p I have friends from other selective schools and they do not have to do eng ext 1 Q.Q I think the only subjects selective schools generally offer are Adv eng instead of standard, maths 2 unit instead of general, and science subjects wise, only chem, bio and physics (no senior science). But then again I'm only basing this on 2 selective school's subject selection. Would love to confirm though :) If you're from a selective school who offers the above mentioned subjects that were listed as non offered by selective schools, please tell me~

EDIT:
Are you from a selective school? Forgot to ask xD;
My school offers only advanced english and higher and says that everyone but 25 have to do english extension 1 or 2. For maths, everyone has to do it for the hsc and only 15 people can do general, everyone else 2 unit or higher. My school also says that in some years they don't offer senior science like for my year.
 

Fiction

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
773
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
This is how I write. (This is from a speech from last year.)

In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us. This is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him. He says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know”. Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

hahaha
Idk, see I would write it like

"Maestro" by Peter Goldsworthy (date), is a tale that follows Paul, a young boy, who moves from Adelaide to Darwin, and illustrates his maturation through various encounters with ___ figures, who influence and shape his beliefs and values. The novel illustrates the significance of relationships and it's ability to manifest (and shape) (identity/values/other things you want to say). This is evident through the simile, "You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know" where the comparison Paul makes between a teacher and father expresses his changing view towards Keller.
 

matchalolz

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2014
Messages
1,179
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
My school offers only advanced english and higher and says that everyone but 25 have to do english extension 1 or 2. For maths, everyone has to do it for the hsc and only 15 people can do general, everyone else 2 unit or higher. My school also says that in some years they don't offer senior science like for my year.
wow your school sounds so smart! may I ask what school you attend?
 

turntaker

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
3,908
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
well, the first thing my english teacher from last year would say is that you have to synthesise it all into one sentence if possible. i'm sure with more practice, you'll be able to do it! just saying, that was probably what my writing was like before I tried to change it
In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us and this is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him when he says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know” and Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

Am I doing it right?
 

Fiction

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
773
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
My school offers only advanced english and higher and says that everyone but 25 have to do english extension 1 or 2. For maths, everyone has to do it for the hsc and only 15 people can do general, everyone else 2 unit or higher. My school also says that in some years they don't offer senior science like for my year.
Wow that's complicated o3o The school I go to is just like, No standard english, no general maths (the math faculty are protesting b/c they want it though lol) and no senior science. Everyone must to ext english for prelim, you can drop it for year 12, and you can do up to 14 units. (most people choose math ext 1 anyways to fill up units) The min amount of units for prelim is 13 unless you have a medical problem and such.

The other school i was comparing with, is like,
No standard english, no general maths, everyone picks ext 1 english anyways so no point in making it compulsory, everyone picks math ext 1 as well and what the hell is senior science?
 

turntaker

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
3,908
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
Idk, see I would write it like

"Maestro" by Peter Goldsworthy (date), is a tale that follows Paul, a young boy, who moves from Adelaide to Darwin, and illustrates his maturation through various encounters with ___ figures, who influence and shape his beliefs and values. The novel illustrates the significance of relationships and it's ability to manifest (and shape) (identity/values/other things you want to say). This is evident through the simile, "You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know" where the comparison Paul makes between a teacher and father expresses his changing view towards Keller.
How do you know this text? :O
And that sounds soo good. I still got 18/20 though so I was happy haha.
 

Futuremedstudent

Ancient Orator
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
1,428
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
Wow that's complicated o3o The school I go to is just like, No standard english, no general maths (the math faculty are protesting b/c they want it though lol) and no senior science. Everyone must to ext english for prelim, you can drop it for year 12, and you can do up to 14 units. (most people choose math ext 1 anyways to fill up units) The min amount of units for prelim is 13 unless you have a medical problem and such.

The other school i was comparing with, is like,
No standard english, no general maths, everyone picks ext 1 english anyways so no point in making it compulsory, everyone picks math ext 1 as well and what the hell is senior science?
do u go to SGHS?
 

hawkrider

all class
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
2,002
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us and this is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him when he says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know” and Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

Am I doing it right?
Too many clauses, it makes it convoluted to read as opposed to something that's succinct.

I'll type up my example I accidentally deleted:

Tyrell's power and authority is fostered through the ceremonious Judeo-Christian symbol of the candles in the mise-en-scene, reinforcing his replacement of God as 'creator' to reflect the postmodern deconstruction of the metanarrative of religion as a single source of morality.

Do you see how I'm still maintaining the sophistication of ideas whilst keeping it straight to the point?
 

Fiction

Active Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2014
Messages
773
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2015
do u go to SGHS?
Do you go to baulko? I've always thought baulko was a girls school, but then some random guy i met said he went to baulko (at least i remembered it as baulko) so now I'm like, if my memory isn't retarded, is it a co-ed school?o3o
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 5)

Top