Actually, I am prepared to believe that most people do not change, especially when they have no cause to believe that what they are doing is wrong. I have been out of home for 2 years, am almost finished a 5 year double degree at uni, have a stable part time job and have been in a steady relationship for almost 4 years. I am more emotionally stable than my mother and more intelligent than both my parents and have tried to demonstrate this in non-offensive, openly polite ways.
I am not convinced that a parent can have a "good relationship" with a child whose decisions they don't approve of. My mother will take any opportunity she can to undermine my boyfriend, and regularly tries to separate my sister and i to the point of where she has ridiculed my sister for spending time with me. My dad says that my house is not user friendly, and uses that as an excuse for not visiting me. It's not like we don't have a relationship at all, I do spend time with them and there are incredibly brief moments where we both have a good time, but i do it mostly to appease the fact that they are my parents and will always be in my life.
it is by no means what i would call a good relationship
That's no good
I am afraid that is what it will end up with my parents. They generally disapprove of what I enjoy doing (e.g. going out with friends, reading etc) and it's not like I am at the back of some alley smoking weed or doing drugs.
They don't trust me and they don't care about my future. When I told they about my interest in perhaps studying law, their only reaction was "you couldn't study law" as if I am a complete idiot. They never tell me they are *proud* of me or give me any praise. When I told them I had dreams of travelling and working I only got a lecture on the dangers of travelling overseas and how I need to be "worldy".
I pay for everything I need. When I go to the doctor's I pay for that, when I need lunch I pay for that. When I go out, I pay. I never ever ask them for money or anything material anymore since receiving my own money. I don't pay board but I shouldn't have to -- I would only be chipping in for food anyway.
Even though I pay for everything I want/need and I babysit and do well in school, never misbehave, they don't trust me. I think they (my mother especially) have trouble letting go and realising I am sixteen now, not twelve and don't need them as much.
As a result I no longer tell them anything. Not to do with my friends, or how I am feeling, my school results, my day. Nothing. I feel like they don't deserve to know and the only conversation we have these days is if I can clean the house or what kind of food I want to eat during the week.
I would like things to get better, but I am not willing to change the way I choose to live, my future for that. I NEED them to come to me, as I have already tried going to them. I would love a good relationship with them.
/end rant.
