Creative Writing - Belonging (1 Viewer)

[bored of sc]

Belonging Blues

You know what I am talking about. The times you walk with your head raised that little bit higher. The times you talk in a slightly lower pitch. The times you laugh along even though you didn't get the joke. You are all victims of these habits. If anyone finds out that you've been acting this way you'll have to lie, cover it up, go to all-ends to ensure you don't get sprung by the masses. And that's just why you do it, isn't it? So you justify you position in the masses, so you fit into whatever shape needs moulding; so you belong.

*

Haha, she typed automatically, failing to care what the words really meant.
Gtg cya soon cum on tomoz ok, the other girl sent back, the pink font almost hurting her eyes.
Bibi, she replied, a deep sense of relief lifting from her chest as she exhaled.

She directed the mouse to the file option - sign out - ok. Start - shut down. The machine finally turned off; the yellow lights flicking off and the steady beeps coming to a stop.

*

 

[bored of sc]

Um... I need ideas about where to go from here... I'm thinking about the school scene - the girl has multiple personalities since she has multiple peer groups (friends, sports team, leadership team, maths club etc).

 

[scaredytiger]

well, rather than having multiple personalities, could she just highlight and omit different aspects of a broader personality to suit her situation?

anyway, its a good start, perhaps you could have some sort of thing where she is in a situation with two groups.

perhaps she didnt really have an opinion on something, but each group had strong opposing opinions, and each thought she was on their side.

but i dunno.

 

[Aerath]

I think it's a great start - but just remember, your story probably needs to move somewhere.

 

[sallysallysally]

ive done a story really similar to that; like a person with multiple perosnalities etc etc.
i need to improve it though...when you said it needs to move soemwehre, what did you mean?

 

[Brontecat]

awesome start it rlly captured my attention straight away

 

[aaron22]

I've written a story would anyone would like to edit, suggest ideas, critique on it.

i need some feedback so i can make my story at least a band 4-5 answer.

anyone willing to help?

if so please reply to this post.

 

[clue444]

A really good and uncommon start, kept me very interested.

 

[Petyo]

what about agreeing to try to smoke in the toilet with the other girls then getting caught?

 

[Jordan27/2]

Someone put more belonging stuff on here!!!

 

[Jordan27/2]

can anyone throw some ideas to me, for my creative writing.. please?

 

[Absolutezero]

Haha, she typed automatically, failing to care what the words really meant.
Gtg cya soon cum on tomoz ok, the other girl sent back, the pink font almost hurting her eyes.
Bibi, she replied, a deep sense of relief lifting from her chest as she exhaled.

She directed the mouse to the file option - sign out - ok. Start - shut down. The machine finally turned off; the yellow lights flicking off and the steady beeps coming to a stop.

You could use a circular story structure and have this as an ending and an opening if you wanted to. Showing how her personality is both different, and yet the same, no matter which group she is with. The autonomous nature of what she is typing suggests that she may not belong anywhere, perhaps the reason for her group switching. Finding ways to belonging thus becomes autonomous in the process.

 

[Aerath]

Someone put more belonging stuff on here!!!

If you look around, there are plenty of ideas here.

 

[Kaatie]

agree with absolute zero. but def love the idea of multiple personalities. draws attention in straight away but dont use 'off' twice thats the only thing. 2nd paragraph was the better of the two (not saying i dont like the first)

 

[Kaatie]

and not keen on the title. but then again a great title is almost impossible to think of, hence the lack of them in student responses

 

[moosh99]

Hey I am preparing my creative writing. I won't post what I have written as I couldnt be bothered typing, but my story that I wrote in my half yearly and trial followed an Tribal African boy who goes on exchange to australia through an exchange scholarship program. (This is his dream come true). When reaching Aus he initially likes the aspects of life that he had never experienced, but after time realises life back in africa is where he belongs. (I write about sport, school, child parent relationships etc, just things that were so different to his home)
Does anyone have any ideas how I can spice up this story. I have limited vocab so my descriptive skills seem to lack considerably. Oh well I should have read more as a child.

 

[-Onlooker-]

Hey I am preparing my creative writing. I won't post what I have written as I couldnt be bothered typing, but my story that I wrote in my half yearly and trial followed an Tribal African boy who goes on exchange to australia through an exchange scholarship program. (This is his dream come true). When reaching Aus he initially likes the aspects of life that he had never experienced, but after time realises life back in africa is where he belongs. (I write about sport, school, child parent relationships etc, just things that were so different to his home)
Does anyone have any ideas how I can spice up this story. I have limited vocab so my descriptive skills seem to lack considerably. Oh well I should have read more as a child.

Maybe... his parents had aids?

 

[hecheeseman]

how do you explain/describe an event without it being like a recount?? anyone know??

any help would be appriciated!

 

[meeatu]

Anyone got any oppinions on this as a subject for my creative writing piece?:
First scene is a girl looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, bruised battered, exhausted, and generally looking a bit shitty, tending to each mark (lovebites, etc) and thinking about how she really should have throught about the fact that she has to be presentable for work before she spent the whole night partying
Next scene is her remembering the whole walk of shame back home after the party, written from the multiple perspectives that see her along the way, all thinking prtetty low of her
Next scene is her in front of the mirror again, only now, she's looking over each of the same marks and the good memories attatched to each one, thinking how much fun she had, and even though it was a little irresponsible, she didn't really care what other people thought of her if it means she can't have another night like that.
So the last bit is gonna just be a bit of a "fuck you" to her boss, and her getting a call and arranging another party for the next night


Make any sense?
Is it okay theme on belonging?

 

[AJ92]

As my English teacher said 100 + times, AVOID TEENAGE ISSUES. Including but not limited to: angst, teen pregnancy, partying, peer issues.
Unless you can do it in an entirely original way, it is NOT a good idea to centre on adolescent problems. It's called "creative" writing for a reason, so my suggestion would be to look at an issue/theme that does not pertain to teenagers, although choosing a subject matter you are somewhat familiar with can help.
Elements of your idea are very good, however - especially the idea of assessing a person from multiple perspectives. If you could make it in relation to a more unique subject matter, however, that would certainly be advisable.
Are there any hobbies/groups/concepts that you know of, from which you could create a story?