Does anyone know how to add authenticity to a belonging story? (1 Viewer)

[jolly28xx]

My belonging story is about a russian girl that is told she can have a better life in America working for a small company and is turned into a sex slave..and then goes on to talk about her struggle and her finally escaping after about a year.

The teacher that marked my essay said I needed to add authenticity to the story. Does anyone know how?? My trial exam is on monday and i need it for then?

Thank. Any help is good

 

[alexpalmer91]

I had the same problem for my half yearly one...my teacher said it was "incongruent" and "too complex" and as a result I got a 7/15 for it. I think it just means that too many aspects of the story seem too unbelievable to be true.
Your story sounds interesting, but probably too much to fit into a short story...maybe thats what she means, but really I have no idea.

I think I'm similar to you in that respect There's no way I could ever write about, you know, a Chinese girl migrating to Australia and finding it hard to belong...or something as common or cliched as that, and when I try to, it just turns into a story about prostitutes, drugs and mental illness
But yeah...just leave out a lot of specific details and things that sound a little ridiculous...keep it simple. I guess that could add 'authenticity'
Hope I helped

 

[lychnobity]

My belonging story is about a russian girl that is told she can have a better life in America working for a small company and is turned into a sex slave..and then goes on to talk about her struggle and her finally escaping after about a year.

The teacher that marked my essay said I needed to add authenticity to the story. Does anyone know how?? My trial exam is on monday and i need it for then?

Thank. Any help is good

1) Tone down the melodrama. On second thought, no melodrama at all.
2) Give the Russian girl a voice/character/spunk
3) Be unconventional
4) Don't describe the following feelings (for the love of God): depression, obsession, angst, hurt, sadness. Anything sounding too over the top? CUT IT OUT!

 

[muscleman09]

My belonging story is about a russian girl that is told she can have a better life in America working for a small company and is turned into a sex slave..and then goes on to talk about her struggle and her finally escaping after about a year.

The teacher that marked my essay said I needed to add authenticity to the story. Does anyone know how?? My trial exam is on monday and i need it for then?

Thank. Any help is good

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