Izzay
Wassup MTV
lol alright, you gotta check this now: Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep…
2008/09 English premier League (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter inter108
- Start date
Groucho Marxist
Member
why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
all the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Anfield
all the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Anfield
UltimateSupremo
Member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2009
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- Male
- HSC
- 2009
although i'm a man utd fan, that was clever..why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
all the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Anfield
Groucho Marxist
Member
thankfully "what do you call a manc with half a brain? gifted" will be relevant for eternity.
LMF^^
(m==)m
Please stop. I don't wanna be mean a retaliate with scouser jokes. We all know they're 100x better.
Groucho Marxist
Member
go ahead, i'll be laughing just as hard!Please stop. I don't wanna be mean a retaliate with scouser jokes. We all know they're 100x better.
LMF^^
(m==)m
90% of scousers have had sex in the shower. The other 10%
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haven't been to jail yet.
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haven't been to jail yet.
Groucho Marxist
Member
gahaahah
must spread rep
must spread rep
LMF^^
(m==)m
These Manc jokes are terrible.
Superstar Iraqi Liverpool striker
The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar.
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry." "Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
Superstar Iraqi Liverpool striker
The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar.
The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
Hello mum, guess what?" he say's. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry." "Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
LMF^^
(m==)m
And another one before I go studying.
Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a
motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker
stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells
them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.
He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on
now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he
has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to
the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and
he agrees.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the
wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he
is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater
Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the
driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman
obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back
door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible.
The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and
the bast*rds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a
motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker
stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells
them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.
He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on
now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he
has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to
the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and
he agrees.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the
wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he
is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater
Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the
driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman
obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back
door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible.
The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and
the bast*rds have managed to nick a motorbike already".
yeah, cos you're obviously in a position to judge.
now time for some real funny shit
http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/8856/ronaldoo.gif
LMF^^
(m==)m
LoL mate I appreciate good humour, but those ones aren't that funny.
That Ronaldo gif suddenly popped up overnight and is making it's way around the world. It sure is funny though.
whatashotbyseve
It all counts
I absolutely rofled at Special 1 TV this week.
They had empty furniture - Arsenal's trophy cabinet, which they were selling. Tag was "Brand new, has never been used since moving to new home".
They had empty furniture - Arsenal's trophy cabinet, which they were selling. Tag was "Brand new, has never been used since moving to new home".
Izzay
Wassup MTV
i don't watch that show too often, but they whenever i do, an arsenal joke seems to always be slipped in somewhere.
whatashotbyseve
It all counts
Haha it was fucking hilarious man. Though I can understand why you don't find it funny.
LMF^^
(m==)m
60 thousand Arsenal flags for sale. Good as new, only waved for 7 minutes!