Working to keep a relationship (1 Viewer)

[bernz]

I keep hearing about it and reading about it, but I've never really had to do it... If a relationship was falling apart, I just let it (the "Que Sera Sera" approach)...

I mean, even now, I've been going out with my current boyfriend for about 18 months and we see each other because we have fun when we see each other... We talk for hours on the phone because we enjoy it... We buy each other spontaneous gifts because we want to (but no presents for Valentines day or our anniversary on my orders ^^)... Nothing ever feels like work...

So... what's this about work? What exactly does "work" involve? And more importantly, why does it need to be done? Why not "Que Sera Sera" it?

 

[Nakashima]

If you're working for it, you're not enjoying it.

If you're not enjoying it, you might as well break up.

Que Sera. :uhhuh:

 

[p!stacio88]

Boyfriends are a major distraction anyway.

 

[bernz]

If you're working for it, you're not enjoying it.

If you're not enjoying it, you might as well break up.

Que Sera. :uhhuh:

That's exactly my opinion!!

 

[Oddy Nocki]

So... what's this about work? What exactly does "work" involve? And more importantly, why does it need to be done? Why not "Que Sera Sera" it?

I think it more to do with doing stuff with your partner. I'm sure if I told my girlfriend to shut up and suck my dick she would do it. But after a period time I would grow bored because she would start putting half the effort and which point I would have to break up with her.

So like, I think it's about trying to keep things fresh and exciting. Doing the same shit all the time gets boring. But then, I have an attention span of about three seconds so if you're boring I just leave, I can't be bother trying to deley me dicking someone else. Whatever.

 

[dodgyfilokid]

It's all about compromise and negotiations..Both of you have to come to some sort of agreement about where things have to go...if you dont then i reckon there's something wrong with the state of relationship you two are both in now

 

[sja]

if she isn't taking anal within a week of going out then i think you must show her the door

 

[goldendawn]

I keep hearing about it and reading about it, but I've never really had to do it... If a relationship was falling apart, I just let it (the "Que Sera Sera" approach)...

I mean, even now, I've been going out with my current boyfriend for about 18 months and we see each other because we have fun when we see each other... We talk for hours on the phone because we enjoy it... We buy each other spontaneous gifts because we want to (but no presents for Valentines day or our anniversary on my orders ^^)... Nothing ever feels like work...

So... what's this about work? What exactly does "work" involve? And more importantly, why does it need to be done? Why not "Que Sera Sera" it?

I think every relationship eventually requires 'work' - it seems to me that we need to 'work' most to keep our friends and those we love during times of crisis - and this is the real test of love and friendship. Listening to the other person when they need someone to listen to them, pointing out, or helping them to deal with their insecurities and neurotic behaviours (which most of us have, hehe). Relationship means reciprocity, and at some point we all need to 'work' to keep them. It's my experience that all relationships experience crisis somewhere along the line. If we do not 'work' for the ones we want to keep, then I think our relationships become shallow and based solely on convenience.

 

[blueeyesguy]

I think every relationship eventually requires 'work' - it seems to me that we need to 'work' most to keep our friends and those we love during times of crisis - and this is the real test of love and friendship. Listening to the other person when they need someone to listen to them, pointing out, or helping them to deal with their insecurities and neurotic behaviours (which most of us have, hehe). Relationship means reciprocity, and at some point we all need to 'work' to keep them. It's my experience that all relationships experience crisis somewhere along the line. If we do not 'work' for the ones we want to keep, then I think our relationships become shallow and based solely on convenience.

You sound like a wise man my friend lol if only i had your wisdom. Its pretty true you need to work on all relationships but as you say reciprocity is very improtant as there needs to be a two way street situation in place. Btw dude what does neurotic mean i mean theres always the dictionary but at the moment im too lazy to grab it although i have some idea of what it means

 

[Redgoddess]

i always thought that working at a relationship was kinda just making sure you made time to see each other and spend time together even when there's lots of shit going on in your life, and being there for them when they need your support and stuff. that said, i agree if it's all work and no fun times then it's probably time to end it. *shrugs* i pity people like this guy i know who's stuck in a relationship with a girl basically because she's really depressed and would probably suicide if he wasnt with her - i mean, it's lose-lose. either you're in the shitty relationship or you've got the guilt for someone you love(d) committing suicide. respect to him for being able to put up with it, i know i wouldnt be able to deal with someone who was down ALL the time, esp in the hsc year.

 

[sja]

work involves cleaning your jizz up after you blow on her favourite top

 

[AlleyCat]

There will always be differences of opinion and the occasional fight after you have been with each other long enough to say what you really feel. It takes some degree of compromise, or 'work', to make a relationship sucessful after the initial honeymoon phase.

i agree with Malfoy in that if there are more fights than fun, you are with the wrong person.

 

[the hsc sucks]

I keep hearing about it and reading about it, but I've never really had to do it... If a relationship was falling apart, I just let it (the "Que Sera Sera" approach)...

I mean, even now, I've been going out with my current boyfriend for about 18 months and we see each other because we have fun when we see each other... We talk for hours on the phone because we enjoy it... We buy each other spontaneous gifts because we want to (but no presents for Valentines day or our anniversary on my orders ^^)... Nothing ever feels like work...

So... what's this about work? What exactly does "work" involve? And more importantly, why does it need to be done? Why not "Que Sera Sera" it?

the work in the relationship is to understand them, to trust them, to stick with them when the shit hits the fan fir them emotionally/financially/work or education stuff. i know it doesnt feel like work most of the time, but there are times that call for that bit extra

 

[Dejected]

exactly. thread closed

work involves cleaning your jizz up after you blow on her favourite top

lol

 

[azzie]

Two thoughts:
- If it's a one off thing, something new, then it can be fixed. You and your partner should try and work through it if you still want to be together.
- If it's repeat behaviour, you'd think its something that might be in your partners behaviour. You can try to work it out but if it keeps on happening, well it'll keep being a problem for you both.