topic sentence? (1 Viewer)

[Kathy358]

The teacher gave us a paragraph missing the topic sentence and asked us to make it up. Here is the paragraph:
Pack a lunch, drinks, and a blanket. Then find your favorite park or outdoor place. Some people like to picnic on the beach or by a lake. You can even picnic in your own backyard. Picnics are especially nice in the spring and fall before the weather is too hot or cold. Picnics are fun events to enjoy with friends.

And my topic sentence:
Today in our fast-paced lives, picnic is deemed as aa suitable and stimulating entertaining activity on the weekend.

My teacher said it was too long and I should cancel the phrase "today in our fast-paced lives". She also mentioned topic sentence cannotbe longer than one line and I should not include phrases like "in the present times, in the modern times" since they just make the topic sentence longer. It has to be kept short and simple.

However, before, when I learnt with another teacher. He totally accepted long topic sentences as well as those above phrases relating to time. Now I'm totally confused
Please give me some advice! I desperately need it! Thank you so much

 

[red152]

Whattttttt!? A topic sentence can be longer than one line... Just be concise with your intended argument. Also, your sentence looks fine and that starting phrase with the time preposition is fine.

 

[phat_tar]

Your teacher has a few screws loose it seems. Why on earth are they even doing this activity. And to answer your question long and complex topic sentences are fine and I'd recommend them in essay writing.

 

[Kathy358]

Thanks for your reply!
By the way, does a topic sentence need to be short? I have always written long topic sentences, roughly 2 or 3 lines!

 

[phat_tar]

Thanks for your reply!
By the way, does a topic sentence need to be short? I have always written long topic sentences, roughly 2 or 3 lines!

No, though being concise can be good.